The “Triggers” aspect of living with and healing from trauma on a daily basis can be daunting at times. There are days when my brain, emotions, and intuition are right on target. It is almost like nothing ever happened. Reality check! However, there are other days when I am going back and forth trying to decide whether my intuition and the Holy Spirit are trying to tell me something, or if I am just being triggered. In the beginning, almost everything was a trigger. Now, I am more evened out where most days are decent, but then other days my symptoms are running rampant, and I have to remind myself that my identity is in Christ, and it is the trauma talking and trying to take over, and to just ride it out. What I noticed is that with trauma triggers, the more you feed into it, the more your anxiety gets worked up, and thus, the more intense are the triggers. It can become a vicious cycle.
Dissecting the Trigger Cycle
One of the hardest things about previously being in a relationship with someone emotionally abusive, and having that person gaslight you almost every day, is that initially it makes you think that every person you talk to who is lying is trying to gaslight you. Because of the fact that our brains have been through so much, and is trained to react to certain patterns, it takes a while to get out of this mode. Full disclosure to help people out who have teenagers, and live with trauma on a daily basis: This can be some of the hardest times for you, as it has been for me, because teens take words and change them around from what it is that you are actually saying. This is part of their development. However, again, for someone who was in a relationship where they dealt with emotional abuse, and you were gaslight, and everything got turned around and twisted to make it seem like you were the problem, this can be rough. Reminding yourself that this is a trigger, part of their development, and will get better was essential for me. My therapist even reminded me, with these words: “This is going to be a hard time for you.” She wasn’t joking. Initially, I was discouraged. However, after time, things got better with this particular trigger. I pray that it will for you as well.
I hope that this series is helping someone who is needing encouragement as they live with PTSD and trauma on a daily basis.
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Isaiah 26:3, NKJV