Inner Circle

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The last poem that I wrote was entitled Strength, and it can be found here. Tonight’s poem is entittled, Inner Circle, and it deals with the conflict that arises between selecting who should and shouldn’t be included in our inner circles.

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Inner Circle

The inner circle, The inner circle, The inner circle of life.

Let in someone with wisdom, growth, and discernment?

Or, let in someone with strife.

It’s the inner circle, it’s the inner circle. Who will you let in?

Let in the workers of iniquity?

Or, let in the faithful friend?

Hey inner circle! hey inner circle!

Open the door and let me in.

Can we trust you with our trials?

Or our failures and our sin?

The inner circle, The inner circle, The inner circle of life.

Let in someone with wisdom, growth, and discernment?

Or, let in someone with strife.

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Have a blessed night in the Lord!

Katina

Bible Verses to Meditate On:

After six days Jesus took with Him Peter, James, and John the brother of James,and led them up a high mountain by themselves.   There He was transfigured before them.

Matthew 17: 1-2, Berean Study Bible
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Strength

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The last poem that I wrote is entitled Unfaithful, and that poem can be found here. We all have those crazy days when we have 20 things to do, and we don’t have a clue how we’re going to get them done. Somehow, they get done. Or, God gives us the grace to finish them up another day. Let’s not forget where our strength comes from.

Strength.

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Courage.

Take flight.

You’ll delight.

In his might.

You’ll be strong.

Though you’re weak.

In his power.

If you seek.

Bible Verse for Reflection

Psalms 121: 1-2

 I lift upmy eyestothe hills. From where does my help come?  2My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.…

Unfaithful

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The last poem that I wrote, Broken Pieces, can be found here. This poem describes the sad turn of events that occurred between Leah, Rachel, Uncle Laban, and Jacob. The conversation that takes place is between Leah and Laban, her dear old daddy. Rachel was noted as being beautiful, and Leah was not. This comparison trap led to Laban tricking Jacob into marrying Leah so that Leah wouldn’t have to be without a husband. It also meant that Laban didn’t keep his end of the deal as far as fair payment for Jacob.

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Unfaithful

She is pretty.

I have weak eye.

Oh now, what will I do?

Don’t you worry!

In a hurry!

Just change clothes.

I’ll push you through.

Get him drunk as a skunk.

He will think you are dear Rachel.

I’m a pawn.

And at dawn,

He will see you’ve been unfaithful.

Bible Verses to Meditate On:

But when evening came, Laban took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and he slept with her.  And Laban gave his servant girlZilpah to his daughter Leah as her maidservant.   When morning came, there was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob said to Laban. “Wasn’t it for Rachel that I served you? Why have you deceived me?”…

Genesis 29: 23-25, Berean Study Bible

Broken Pieces

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The last poem that I wrote was entitled “Faith Without Works”. You can find that poem here. Today’s poem, Broken Pieces, deals with the emotional process of deciding to enter the door of healing: the closed door represents survival mode, and open the opened door represents the door of thriving.

Broken Pieces

Broken Pieces, Broken Pieces

Yes, it’s what you’ve settled for.

There’s no thriving, just surviving.

Door of Healing gives you more.

Door of Healing, Door of Healing.

If I open, what is there?

There is Jesus.

In the fire.

And your pain.

So You’re Aware.

You’ll press in.

You will hurt.

Oh, but then you’ll go so far.

Just keep pressing.

It’s the lesson.

Set the bar.

Now it’s your blessing.

Episode 13: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma

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Episode 13: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...

 
 
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trauma, eye doctor, healing, grace, living with and healing from trauma, emotional health, mental health, psychological health, depression, ptsd, ptsd survivor, doctor, eye doctor, podcaster, podcasting, podcast, healing our brokenness, katina horton, simple functional grace-filled living, eyes, exams, physical health, traumatized
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Our last podcast, Lost in the Woods of Trauma, dealt with the process of going from having the trauma identity to reign, to have our identity in Christ to take over. This week’s episode: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma, shares about the embarrassing moments that we all have when we live with and heal from trauma on a daily basis, even when we have come a long way with our healing. It also handles how to see these moments as God sees them. Click to listen!

Podcast Outline

Traumatic Childhood Events

My Traumatic Childhood Event

My Eye Doctor Visit

Grace Aspect: My Resolve

Grace Aspect: Bible Verses for Meditation

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who was tempted in every way that we are, yet was without sin.  Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy, and find grace to help us in our time of need.


Hebrews 4: 15-16

Faith Without Works?

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The last poem that I wrote is entitled Released. You can find that poem here. Today’s poem is simple, but meant to stir some thought about our spiritual life. God gave us a gift: his Son. When you receive a gift, there is nothing that you have to do on your part. You just accept it. We are told in Ephesians 2: 8-9; “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”

When it comes to prayers being answered, we have those of us who say that we are waiting on God, and do nothing. But, then there are those of us who live as if God has answered by acting upon it. Which one is showing faith?

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Faith Without Works?

I’ve got faith. What about you?

I’ve got faith. Works added too.

I’m waiting on God to do his part.

I’m living as if he’s already started.

Don’t understand, prayed in my bed.

Well don’t you know?

Without works it’s dead?

Meditation Scripture

Faith Without Works Is Dead

14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without [ayour works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! 20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? 22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. 24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.

25 Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?

26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

Digestion Aspect: Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis

emotional health, anxiety, mental health, depression, anxiety, eating, food, grieving, ptsd survivor, podcaster, author, blogger, blog, blogger life, digestion, regurgitation, hypersensitive, trauma

emotional health, anxiety, mental health, depression, anxiety, eating, food, grieving, ptsd survivor, podcaster, author, blogger, blog, blogger life, digestion, regurgitation, hypersensitive, trauma
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In our Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis Series, I dissect issues and symptoms of PTSD/trauma. This is in hopes of letting people know that they are not alone, as well as giving people the freedom to comment, and talk about how PTSD/trauma has affected their lives in these areas. The last post in the Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis Series was one dealing with the Holiday Aspect of trauma. You can find that post here. Today’s post will focus on the Digestion Aspect.

One surprising revelation for me was realizing that PTSD/trauma actually affects your digestion. I stumbled upon this realization in June of 2014, a couple of months after getting divorced. There are three things that I noticed when it comes to trauma and digestion:

Trauma and grief will come out in the form of regurgitation.

I am not trying to sound gross here, so please bear with me. Due to complications with my ex-husband’s health, as well as the fact that I had stuffed my emotions for so long, my grief was delayed. Grieving my divorce, and all the events surrounding it, were delayed. Alleviating some of the symptoms that I was experiencing seemed downright frightening because of stuffing for so long.

This caused me to be in a vicious cycle of stuffing and feeling like my face and chest was going to explode, with very little relief. Trauma is in the tissues, and so I discovered, along with reading information on my own, that movement, grief, and massaging helped to release it. The problem came into play when I finally felt like I could release the trauma. However, the underlying feeling was that if I started crying, there would be no bottoming out. Subconsciously, I knew it was going to be a bad release.

Instead of my system waiting any longer, it released the trauma and grief in the form of regurgitation. Initially, I thought that it was just that maybe something upset my stomach. However, after four rounds of this, and feeling grief in between each round, I knew that wasn’t the case at all. It didn’t take long to put two and two together.

I felt very vulnerable, and my son kept asking me, “What did you eat?” I told him that it had nothing to do with the food. It was physiological.

Trauma will cause your system to get confused about hunger and fullness.

Another weird discovery that I made is that every now and then, stored trauma and unreleased grief will make your system confused as far as satiety is concerned. There are times when I have felt like I could keep eating forever. Then, there are other times that I feel hungry, and then attempt to eat, but will all of a sudden feel full.

Lastly, there are times when I can literally feel my emotions trapped in my midsection, causing my body to try to figure out whether it is satisfied, or it needs more food. It is the weirdest thing. It doesn’t happen as much anymore. However, when it happens, it can be very frustrating.

When doing research, one of the explanations that I found is that because of PTSD/trauma, at times, the blood that should flow into the stomach, moves away from it, going to other areas like the arms.

Trauma will cause you to become hypersensitive to certain foods, causing severe panic attacks when consumed in normal portions.

The last issue that I would like to discuss is how trauma causes hypersensitivity to foods. These foods vary from person to person. For me, it was sugar. I first discovered this when I decided to eat a glazed donut in 2015.

Within five minutes, a severe panic attack came on, I felt like I was going to hit the roof. The only thing that would help my system to calm down was drinking an excess amount of water, and then deep breathing, and a lot of prayer. Taking multivitamins has helped , but it is still not the same.

My system has improved a little. However, it can’t handle what it once was able to. Sometimes, I get frustrated with this fact. It is what it is. I have learned to accept the fact that a few moments of pleasure for an hour or more of panic just isn’t worth it.

How has PTSD/trauma affected your digestion? What are some of the ways that you use to cope with it?

God bless,

Katina

Released

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The last poem that I wrote, The Advancer, can be found here. Today’s poem, Released, describes what happens when Christ gets a hold of our hearts. When we are open, he can heal us, and take us from a life of just surviving, to a fruitful life filled with thriving. God bless!

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Released

The Savior

The Son of God

He pierces

Straight through the heart

To the point

Where we Confess

That we’re tired

Of the Same, Old Mess

The Lifestyle

Of just coping and surviving

We’re done now

Let’s get to the thriving

He breaks down

The power of Sin

Holy Spirit

Come dwells within

He breaks down

All the walls of doubt

And His Name

Alone gives him clout

He breaks down

All power of sin

All God’s people

Can say Amen

Meditation Verse

Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

1 Corinthians 6:11

The Advancer

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We have our plans, and then God has his. Three or four people can be doing the exact same thing, and two people may succeed, and the other two may not. Second option: The other two may have to wait for God to release. So, sometimes if you haven’t been released for success yet, it isn’t necessarily that you aren’t do everything right, it may not be your timing yet. God is the advancer, and we are not. Sometimes that realization is difficult to sink in. As individuals, it can be easy to get caught in this type of thinking. It becomes another way to stay stuck in the comparison trap. When we submit to his will, and do our part, he makes it plain. This poem, The Advancer, deals with this aspect in a nutshell. Last week’s poem, Why I Write, can be found here. God bless!

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The Advancer

Writing the Vision.

Making It Plain.

Doing His Calling.

Dancing in Rain.

Waiting on God.

Seeing How He Answers.

Trusting in Him.

The Mighty Advancer.

Meditation Verse

Habakkuk 2: 1-3

I will stand at my guard post and station myself on the ramparts. I will watch to see what He will say to me and how I will answer my reproof.  Then the LORDanswered me:“Write down this vision and clearly inscribe it on tablets,so that a herald may run with it.  For the vision awaits an appointed time; it testifies of the end, and will not lie. Though it lingers, wait for it, since it will surely come and not delay.…

Why I Write

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The last poem that I wrote was entitled, “Gratitude, Gratitude”, and it can be found here. Today’s poem takes you on a winding adventure of why I have chosen to write. Please feel free to send in your comments below on why it is that you have chosen the path of writing.

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Why I Write

I write from the heart.

No, it’s not just a part.

It’s the pain and the struggles.

It’s the drama and the tuggles.

The laughter and the cries.

The births and the byes.

The ins and the outs.

The moments filled with doubt.

The pushing past surviving.

The greeting of the thriving.

The heartaches and the pain.

The neverending rain.

The beauty and the ashes.

The life that’s filled with dashes.

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.


Proverbs 29:18 King James Version (KJV)