Today, we are continuing on with our Begin to Declutter Series. We have already begun to declutter our minds, our hearts, our souls, and our bodies. Today, we will begin to declutter your relationships. If you missed the other podcasts in the series, please click on the word links above.
You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead.
2 Samuel 19:6
Paul also and Barnabas continued in Antioch, teaching and preaching the word of the Lord, with many others also.
36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do.
37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.
39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;
40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.
41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches.
Yesterday, I posted part 1 of my interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger, Teacher, Victoria Coberly. If you want to listen in to part 1, click here. Today, I am posting part 2. It is nice to be able to sit down with women of God, learn about their life, their stories, their purpose, and passions. I pray that you will find something in this interview that resonates with you.
Episode 84: Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger Victoria Coberly-Part 2 Outline
Bible Verses to Meditate on:
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
The year 2020 has had a lot of ups and downs. And to be honest, there seems to have been more downs than ups. In this podcast episode, I will go over some of the things that we have dealt with collectively, as well as individually. I will also dissect what we have as an anchor for the new year. In case you missed the last episode, you can click here to catch up.
Have you ever said something and then you wish that you could take it back? Or perhaps you said something mean, and you have no regrets at all. Whatever may be the case, our words have power. And not only do our words have power, they tell a lot about what is really going on inside of our hearts, own unhealed areas of pain and brokenness. Take a listen to find out how our words manifest our pain.
In case you missed last week’s podcast episode, you can find it here.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
So David went out wherever Saul sent him, and prospered; and Saul set him over the men of war. And it was pleasing in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.
6It happened as they were coming, when David returned from killing the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with musical instruments.
7The women sang as they played, and said, “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.”
8Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on.
Saul Turns against David
10Now it came about on the next day that an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved in the midst of the house, while David was playing the harp with his hand, as usual; and a spear was in Saul’s hand. 11Saul hurled the spear for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David escaped from his presence twice.
Two months ago, I wrote the following post: When Trauma Triggers other Trauma(Racism)—Part 1. Today, we will talk about when trauma triggers other trauma in the area of abandonment. At the beginning of lockdown, everything was new and different. There was a vast sense of paranoia in regard to catching the virus. The questions that came to mind for most people were: Will I catch the virus at work? At the store? In my home from opening up the groceries? Taking a walk outside? The list became endless. There was a sense of emotions and dissociating stirring up inside me whenever I put on masks to go inside at work and at the grocery stores, as well as watching others with their masks on. Because the pandemic was trauma-inducing itself, initially I didn’t investigate the issue.
I also began to notice that the social distancing order caused me to dissociate and stir up certain emotions. But once again, just making it through the trauma of the pandemic was enough. Things were fresh and new, and I was going about my business as usual-until-yes, that is the magic word: until. Until people started asking each other how they were faring during the pandemic, whether alone or with others on social media. They were wondering how it felt to have to navigate the pandemic alone.
That’s when the giant drop occurred. For more on the giant drop, refer to this post. I had no other choice but to deal with the emotions as well as the dissociation. I was able to figure out that the social distancing and masks brought up old wounds of abandonment, and along with the abandonment, it’s friend named loneliness came along. I had to remind myself of the following: 1) that the trauma of the pandemic with the masks and social distancing aspects, along with the space involved, were triggering these feelings. 2) No one was leaving me. 3) I had to invoke a higher level of self-care. 4) I had to connect with others even more than usual, and even if that connection meant phone calls and Zoom, it would have to do. 5) I had to do deep breathing, and practice eye-focusing exercises to help ground me in the present time.
Initially, I realized that my self-care involved more music, reading, and outside time than watching television. I have found that sitting from watching television can actually be more anxiety and depression-inducing when you are going through hard times emotionally and mentally. It also helped when my son came and stayed for a few months right after my revelation of dissociation. However, before and after he left, I had already started implementing the four steps listed above. Thus, it made my journey even easier to navigate. The loneliness didn’t totally dissipate, but it became manageable with adding an extra layer of connection that wasn’t previously needed.
We all have different ways of dealing with trauma. What is helpful to one person may or may not be helpful to another. I am not a therapist. If your symptoms are causing you a heightened level of distress, seeing a therapist, or any other mental health professional is recommended.
Just when you thought that the story was over, it isn’t. There’s much more to come. As a recap of yesterday, when I interviewed Evangelist Bernina Davis, she took us on a journey of the importance of relationships and connection, having a relationship with God, knowing God and knowing self, and along with this knowing, being able to put your revelations into practice during this pandemic. She also took us through some of her family traditions around blackness, and the importance of not blindly following our passions, but following them with purpose, drive, and intent. Lastly, Evangelist Nina began the journey of taking us through her brokenness, explaining the importance of not turning others into idols, and the things that women often do that create this type of destructive behavior. Today, we are going to continue her road of redemption and grace that God gave her as she found herself in a situation of being arrested by the police. Listen in and find out how God made this pivotal moment in her life a divine rescue from brokenness and divine calling for life.
When Joseph was taken to Egypt by the Ishmaelite traders, he was purchased by Potiphar, an Egyptian officer. Potiphar was captain of the guard for Pharaoh, the king of Egypt.
2 The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. 3 Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did. 4 This pleased Potiphar, so he soon made Joseph his personal attendant. He put him in charge of his entire household and everything he owned. 5 From the day Joseph was put in charge of his master’s household and property, the Lord began to bless Potiphar’s household for Joseph’s sake. All his household affairs ran smoothly, and his crops and livestock flourished. 6 So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned. With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing—except what kind of food to eat!
Joseph was a very handsome and well-built young man, 7 and Potiphar’s wife soon began to look at him lustfully. “Come and sleep with me,” she demanded.
8 But Joseph refused. “Look,” he told her, “my master trusts me with everything in his entire household. 9 No one here has more authority than I do. He has held back nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God.”
10 She kept putting pressure on Joseph day after day, but he refused to sleep with her, and he kept out of her way as much as possible. 11 One day, however, no one else was around when he went in to do his work. 12 She came and grabbed him by his cloak, demanding, “Come on, sleep with me!” Joseph tore himself away, but he left his cloak in her hand as he ran from the house.
13 When she saw that she was holding his cloak and he had fled, 14 she called out to her servants. Soon all the men came running. “Look!” she said. “My husband has brought this Hebrew slave here to make fools of us! He came into my room to rape me, but I screamed. 15 When he heard me scream, he ran outside and got away, but he left his cloak behind with me.”
16 She kept the cloak with her until her husband came home. 17 Then she told him her story. “That Hebrew slave you’ve brought into our house tried to come in and fool around with me,” she said. 18 “But when I screamed, he ran outside, leaving his cloak with me!”
Joseph Put in Prison
19 Potiphar was furious when he heard his wife’s story about how Joseph had treated her. 20 So he took Joseph and threw him into the prison where the king’s prisoners were held, and there he remained. 21 But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden. 22 Before long, the warden put Joseph in charge of all the other prisoners and over everything that happened in the prison. 23 The warden had no more worries, because Joseph took care of everything. The Lord was with him and caused everything he did to succeed.
On yesterday, I had the opportunity to interview Timothy Horton. This young man is special because number one, he is a child of God, and then number two, he is my son. When I say that we left no table unturned in our talk, I do mean it. As Timothy mentioned, and we believe at Healing Our Brokenness podcast, “Everybody has a story to tell”. You may laugh some, cry some, and listen attentively as Timothy shares openly about several things, including, but not limited to, the songwriting process, brokenness, music, blackness, relationships, and traveling. In case you missed last week’s podcast episode, you can click here to take a listen.
Episode 73: Podcast Outline
The Effects of the Pandemic
Foreign Languages and Communication
Mentors and Mentees
Reading of Poetry
Bible Verses to Meditate on:
Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”
PTSD/trauma is real. And for those of us who live with it on a daily basis, it can be challenging for some, and debilitating for others. Everyday, we have conversations with people, and those conversations may involve sights, sounds, smells, etc. that trigger some form of trauma that we have experienced in our lifetime. The question that I have for you today is, “What happens when one traumatic event triggers another traumatic event?”
For instance, we are living in a pandemic. This pandemic is trauma-inducing. It brings with it fear, anxiety, uncertainty, unpredictability, isolation, etc. Just going over these elements themselves, it is important to take note that they rank high on the list as contributing factors to PTSD.
In the month of June, we had the death of George Floyd as the deaths of Breanna Taylor and Armaud Arbery were still fresh in our minds. His death led to a series of protests, looting, and upheaval all across the nation, and then all across the world. Some areas even got so bad that the nation guards were brought in, For some people like my mom, this series of events took them straight back to the 1960s when the Civil Rights movement was in full swing. Dr. King had come to Memphis, Tennessee to march peacefully in hopes of helping the sanitation workers get fair pay and treatment.
What he didn’t plan on happening, is that his arrival in Memphis would sadly be the beginning of the end of his life. The national guards would come in to take control. People like my uncle and cousin would be beaten with billy clubs. Looting would take over the city, as well as other places in the United States.
The hardest part about navigating a traumatic event like murder in broad daylight is hoping that you’re not alone. Someone understands and empathizes with your pain. In the sixties, there wasn’t social media. Today, there is. After these deaths, people flocked to social media for expressing their feelings, whether it was outrage, disbelief, shock, or empathy, as others lied in wait to attack them.
The surprise attacks caused these expressers to be retraumatized over and over again. People who you thought felt the same way that you do were showing their true feelings, causing you to feel like a knife was being inserted in your chest. Life became even trickier to navigate. Friendships among races became trickier to navigate. Nothing felt certain. So in a time like this, what do we do in order to navigate this trauma, the trauma of these lives that have been taken.
First of all, we pray, and then pray again, humbling ourselves.
if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
Right now, in our world, we are faced with a situation that we have never had to deal with before. We have a virus that is worldwide, and there are lockdowns with specific instructions that are given, and each set of instructions are different for each region. No matter what these instructions are, we have been asked to stay home. Unless we have essential jobs or errands to run, we are told to stay put for the safety of ourselves, our loved ones, and the extremely vulnerable.
During this season, we have all felt a little bit of some form of anxiety or fear. Change brings anxiety. Sicknesses/Diseases bring on fear and anxiety. And lastly, but definitely not least, the unknown brings on anxiety. One unknown is that we don’t know how long the worldwide lock downs will last. We don’t know how long the shortages in the grocery stores or hoarding/panic buying will last. We don’t know how long it will be till we feel a sense of normal again. To be honest, when we think about it, will things ever really be “normal”? Those of us who haven’t had to deal with trauma are now having to ride these waves. Those of us who already have PTSD are dealing with compounded trauma.
One of the best things that we can do for ourselves during this time is to come up with a schedule that we can stick to in order to keep our bodies/minds/souls rested, renewed, and refreshed.
This is a good time for creativity. There will be times that we’ll get stuck. The important thing is us coming up with a schedule and sticking to it for the sake of our own, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health, as well as that of the other members of our household. There will be times that we’ll have to just stop and have that cry or meltdown. It releases the trauma hormones, stress, and anxiety from our bodies and will definitely help us to feel better. This is an area that I have to remind myself of over and over again. “Get the cry out. Have self-compassion and empathy for all you have gone through. Then move forward.” Sometimes we might have to rinse and repeat several times a day.
So, what are some of the things that I have been enjoying during this time? 1) Getting to spend some time with my almost 22-year-old son. 2) Listening to the birds in the morning and then again at 8 at night when they are rounding up for the day. 3) Baking banana bread, zucchini bread, and cookies. 4) The creativity juices to write poetry as I sit on my bed among my pillows in the morning. 5) Extra time to read. 6) Time to work on writing two books.
I just recently released a book entitled, “My Blackness” over the weekend. This podcast episode gives you a little bit of background on the book, along with a reading of four different poems coming directly from the book. Just in case you missed the last episode, here is the link: What will they say about you and me?
My Blackness Podcast Outline:
The Why and How of Writing “My Blackness”
Reading of Four Poems
If you are interested in purchasing “My Blackness”, here is a link to the book on Amazon. The kindle version is available for free until midnight, August 6, 2020. Purchasing this book means that I will receive a commission.