Episode 65: Dissection of “My Blackness”

Episode 65: Dissection of “My Blackness”
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...

 
Play/Pause Episode
00:00 / 00:16:25
Rewind 30 Seconds
1X

I just recently released a book entitled, “My Blackness” over the weekend. This podcast episode gives you a little bit of background on the book, along with a reading of four different poems coming directly from the book. Just in case you missed the last episode, here is the link: What will they say about you and me?

My Blackness Podcast Outline:

  • The Why and How of Writing “My Blackness”
  • Reading of Four Poems

If you are interested in purchasing “My Blackness”, here is a link to the book on Amazon. The kindle version is available for free until midnight, August 6, 2020. Purchasing this book means that I will receive a commission.

Have a blessed, restful week!

Katina

My Blackness

my blackness, black lives matter, katina horton, lifestyle, emotional health, mental health, grandmother, birthday, emotional trauma, systemic racism, Mudear, projects, lifestyle, lifestyle blogger, poetry, poem, racism, love, blackness, love, pressing hair

On tomorrow, I will be celebrating the heavenly birthday of my grandmother, Beatrice, affectionately known to her family as Mudear. There isn’t one day that goes by that I don’t think of her “figures of speech, quotes, words of wisdom, or just a matter of fact response to any kind of drama that is going on. I got my first lesson on community from living in her tiny apartment in the projects. Her place was filled with smells of fried chicken, grease popping and cabinets that displayed it, hair pressing, and the love that she had for her family.

my blackness, black lives matter, katina horton, lifestyle, emotional health, mental health, grandmother, birthday, emotional trauma, systemic racism, Mudear, projects, lifestyle, lifestyle blogger, poetry, poem, racism, love, blackness, love, pressing hair
Photo by Shopify

I wrote the following poem ” My Blackness”, this past week, after dropping my car off for an oil change, and then waiting for my son to pick me up. I read the poem to my son, and he was surprised that I was able to write it so fast. His response, “Hmmm, I’m surprised that you didn’t need to have the perfect writing conditions present”. My response: “Yes, I know. Totally a God thing.” Me standing there on the sidewalk typing a poem into the Notes app on my phone? I then explained to him that I had read a blog post by a black blogger on the Black Lives Matter topic, particulary Juneteenth, and was immediately inspired to write poetry that helped to express my feelings about everything. Feelings about why we judge, what we judge, and what we think when we just don’t understand.

Well, here goes. Mudear, this is dedicated to you:

My Blackness

Is it the sassy in my voice?

Is the hips I’m given by choice?

Is it the knots that’s in my hair?

That makes the crowds shake heads and stare?

Is it my eyes that’s filled with grief?

Above the teeth that’s clenched by thief?

Is it the music that makes me sway?

That helps me heal from day to day.

Is it the movies that recall drama

Of taken lives and baby mommas?

It’s part of blackness.

Oh, can’t you see?

My Godly image, “identity”.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Breathe

breath, relax, news, pandemic, uncertainty, breathe, stretching, anxiety, unknown, outcome, lifestyle, blogger, blogger lifestyle, katina horton, self-care, Christ's death on the cross

There is an art involving in breathing. To breathe is to let go, release the stress, and give your mind time to reflect on what your mind, body, and soul tells you. This poem does just that. It helps you to stop and focus on what breathing does for you along with helping you gain a better perspective.

breath, relax, news, pandemic, uncertainty, breathe, stretching, anxiety, unknown, outcome, lifestyle, blogger, blogger lifestyle, katina horton, self-care, Christ's death on the cross
Photo by Matthew Henry at Burst by Shopify

Breathe.

When anxiety threatens you.

Breathe.

When the news envelopes you.

Breathe.

When you’re not sure of the outcome.

Breathe.

With the Gift of His Only Son.

Breathe.

Season of Uncertainty

uncertainty, COVID-19, virus, poetry, poetry community, poem, katina horton, season, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, psychology, trust, seek

We are definitely living in uncertain times. During these times, it is important to keep ourselves anchored in God and his promises. It is also crucial to establish a creative outlet for ourselves, and our kids if they are still at home. Practicing self-care will help our souls and our ability to be resilient when everything around us is on shaky ground. This poem”Season of Uncertainty”, deals with our life as it is right now worldwide. I am currently reminded of God’s goodness as I type this because there are several birds singing their tunes right outside my kitchen window. To God be the glory! Blessings my friends!

uncertainty, COVID-19, virus, poetry, poetry community, poem, katina horton, season, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, psychology, trust, seek
Photo by Brodie Vissers at Shopify

Season of Uncertainty

The sun and birds.

The walks and talks.

Slowdown and family time.

There’s a growing whine.

When at home we dine.

In the midst of uncertainty.

It’s the unexpected.

When you feel neglected.

And a need to be hugged and seen.

When our faith is tested,

and the fear has rested,

in our hearts and in our souls.

It’s a time to trust.

Trust that God is good.

When the picture’s not whole, looks bleak.

When we search for others,

There’s no need to look further,

When his kingdom we will seek.

Last poem: Triggered

Triggered

triggered, poetry, katina horton, trauma, ptsd, psychology, emotional health, mental health, healing, brokenness

The word “triggered” has become so overly used in this day and age. For those of us who live with trauma/PTSD, triggers are real. And when they occur, gaining solid grounding is what’s needed in order to get past the episode. This poem, entitled, “Triggered” paints a vivid picture of what it’s like.

triggered, poetry, katina horton, trauma, ptsd, psychology, emotional health, mental health, healing, brokenness
Photo by Matthew Henry at Shopify

Triggered

Triggers-everywhere.

Sights and sounds.

Beyond compare.

The bad seems worse.

The good seems better.

Triggers in all forms-

By Good “Ole Friend” Weather.

One word. One sound. Tilts you off the ground.

One look paints a picture.

Identity in Christ-Our one and only fixture.

The Art of Forgiveness

forgiveness, helping, the art of forgiveness, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, reconciliation, psychology, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle

The act of forgiveness is what we have been commissioned to do. However, it isn’t an easy task. The process itself keeps taking us back to the cross and having us to question our own worthiness with the Savior. This poem reflects just that. God bless!

The Art of Forgiveness

forgiveness, helping, the art of forgiveness, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, reconciliation, psychology, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle
Photo by Nicole De Khors

Forgiveness -sounds foreign

Not domestic

Forgiveness-it’s for you

It’s protection

Forgiveness-the releasing of the poison

Forgiveness-no more power or the noisome

Forgiveness-it’s ours to take hold of

Forgiveness-standing tall

And be bold, love.

Completion

finish, completion, poetry, poetry community, spiritual health, death, Jesus' death

The Completion

finish, completion, poetry, poetry community, spiritual health, death, Jesus' death
Photo by Brodie Vissers

He died.

Upon that tree.

He moaned. And groaned. Then bent the knee.

He said his last words.

Through the earth and through the nation, the completion was heard.

“It is finished.”

Yes, he said it.

It was for you and for me.

The conniving and all the striving…

The shedding of blood…

Broke it free.

After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, “I thirst!” 29 Now a vessel full of sour wine was sitting there; and they filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on hyssop, and put it to His mouth. 30 So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.

John 19: 28-30

His Will

his will, puzzle, acceptance, God's will, emotional health, spiritual health, psychology, mental health, decisions, life, healing, brokenness, trauma, good God

Sometimes life is just hard. We often find it difficult to understand why God allows certain things to happen. Sometimes he gives us the answer. Other times, he decides that it isn’t going to be revealed on this side of Heaven. We can always rest assured that God is always Good. He always Loves Us. He never changes. He will never forsake us. We can take all of these truths to the bank when everything else fails, and we don’t understand “His Will”.

his will, puzzle, acceptance, God's will, emotional health, spiritual health, psychology, mental health, decisions, life, healing, brokenness, trauma, good God
photo by Nicole De Khors

His Will

It is his will.

We know it is.

Though anger swells.

And darkness stills.

It is his will.

When we can’t make sense.

Of the brokenness and loss that engulfs us like a fence.

It is his will.

That is pushing us to grow.

In devotion to him,

And the blessings he’ll bestow.

It is his will.

That we dream, and dream again.

He’s the Alpha and Omega.

The Beginning and The End.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:2

Other poetry: Our Stories

Our Stories

stories, storytelling, ownership, healing, brokenness, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, poem, poetry, psychology, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, acceptance

My theme for the last few weeks has seemed to focus on our stories. It is so important to gain freedom from telling and owning our stories. I came up with a poem that I would like to share with you all for reflection.

stories, storytelling, ownership, healing, brokenness, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, poem, poetry, psychology, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, acceptance
Photo by Matthew Henry

Our Stories

Our Stories.

No, they don’t define us.

Our Stories.

God’s Word Realigns Us.

Our Stories.

Takes Us Back to the Beginning.

Our Stories.

Helps Us Sift through all the Sinning.

Our Stories.

Gives us Depth and Relation.

Our Stories.

We Are God’s Own Priestly Nation.

Integration

quilt, integration, healing, community, past, brokenness, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, simple, living, psychology

There are a lot of things involved in integration. The main thing required is taking the bits and pieces of our lives and allowing the pieces of our quilts from our story to be sown together. The poem, “Integration” is my own reflection of the pieces of the quilt that I loss when I either changed churches or loss contact with friends along the way.

Integration

quilt, integration, healing, community, past, brokenness, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, simple, living, psychology
Photo by Matthew Henry at Burst by Shopify

Flashes of the past.

Friendships gone.

New ones last.

Recreating community.

Origination-the trinity

Bonding with sisters and brothers.

Loving strong and caring for others.