Oh Self-Pity!

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Earlier this week, I recorded a podcast on self-pity, entitled, ” Woe Is Me!”  You can find it here.  Today, I wrote a poem on self-pity to help us all deal with its spiritual stronghold.

Oh Self-Pity!

self-pity, stronghold, blog, poetry, emotional health, mental health, turning inward, brokenness, healing, ptsd, abuse, trauma, spiritual warfare, author, podcaster, blogger
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Oh Self-Pity! Oh Self-Pity!

You have built your own little city.

“Look at me! Look at me!

Don’t you see me suffering?”

 

“I’m the victim, full of sad.

Turning inward all the mad.

Oh, dear God, but I’m your friend.

When will you take the revenge?”

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(God Answers)

“Take Mercy and Grace, Make them your friends.

That inward thing, your heart will mend.”

 

“Oh Self-Pity! Oh Self-Pity!

God has destroyed your little city.

Look at me! Look at me!

God has surely set me free!”

 

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Bible Verse to Reflect on In Regards to Self-Pity

 

73 Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.

But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.

For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.

They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.

 

Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.

Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.

They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.

They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.

10 Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them.

11 And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?

12 Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.

13 Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.

 

14 For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.

15 If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children.

16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;

17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.

18 Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.

19 How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.

 

20 As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

21 Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.

22 So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.

23 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.

24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.

 

25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.

28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.

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If We’re Judging

A few weeks ago, I presented a podcast entitled, ” Broken People Judging Broken People” located here.  A week ago, God impressed upon my heart to write a poem on judging.  I finally did it tonight.  Be blessed!

 

If We’re Judging

If we’re judging, if we’re judging,

Holy Spirit gives a nudging

“Get the plank out of your eye!

Makes it bulge like a sty.”

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Makes us blind

Unable to see

Our own sin that’s running free.

 

God sent Nathan his great prophet

“Talk to David, he’s been hopping”

 

So Dear Nathan spoke to David,

“This poor man, he was so hated,

by the rich who took his lamb.

Oh, Dear David,

You are that man”.

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Took Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife.

Done in secret, caused so much strife.

 

“Oh, Dear David, what will you do?”

“Repent right now.

I’ll be renewed.”

 

If we’re judging, if we’re judging,

Holy Spirit gives a nudging

“Get the plank out of your eye!

Makes it bulge like a sty.”

 

Makes us blind

Unable to see

Our own sin that’s running free.

 

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Bible Verse for Meditation:

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

 

Mustard Seed Faith

Mustard Seed Faith

Oh yes, it’s faith, The mustard seed,

And God fulfills our every need.

 

And Oh, Yes Noah, he built the ark.

Oh, is it safe? Send out the lark.

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Abe and Sarah, they had a son.

God had revealed he was the one.

 

Oh yes, it’s faith, The mustard seed,

And God fulfills our every need.

 

And Rahab helped with all the spies,

Till they escaped holding the ties.

 

How ’bout dear old Joshua marching ’round

Till walls of Jericho came tumbling down.

 

Oh yes, it’s faith, The mustard seed,

And God fulfills our every need.

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Let’s not forget our good old Daniel,

In Lion’s Den, Yes, God did handle.

 

And then our Joseph told Pharaoh dreams,

With God’s great help, he told the means.

 

Oh yes, it’s faith, The mustard seed,

And God fulfills our every need.

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It’s not called faith for what we see,

It’s what we don’t,

So we believe.

 

 

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead.

By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11: 1-6

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I am the Vine, And So Is It Time?

I am the Vine, And So Is It Time?

 

The deep, wet dirt of the earth pulls me in,

As my little coral bells are just dancing in the wind.

 

Then the dear clematis vine,

He shouts loud with his trumpet

from the east to west

You don’t miss his triumphant

“I am the vine.  You are the branches.

Just trust in me, I’ll take you through the trenches.”

poetry, blog, vine, branches, clematis, heuchera, John 15
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Parts of my vine are tied against the trellis,

And then part of me rests on the earth,

Where this mess is.

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Then the dear clematis vine,

He shouts loud with his trumpet

from the east to west

You don’t miss his triumphant

“I am the vine.  You are the branches.

Just trust in me, I’ll take you through the trenches.”

poetry, blog, vine, branches, clematis, heuchera, John 15
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Then the husbandman gives orders to the dear clematis vine.

“It’s just not the hour.  It’s not yet the time”.

 

poetry, blog, vine, branches, clematis, heuchera, John 15
Matthew Henry at Burst

 

I wrap around the heucheras, the heucheras, the color of wine,

And I pray in the garden till beads of sweat so entwined.

 

The Husbandman calls out,

“It is time for the trellis.

I will send them relief through a Comforter where this mess is.”

 

Then the dear clematis vine,

He shouts loud with his trumpet

from the east to west

You don’t miss his triumphant

“I am the vine.  You are the branches.

Just trust in me, I’ll take you through the trenches.”

 

Matthew 26:36-46

36 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch[a] with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”

40 And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.”

43 And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on.  See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”

Abide My Love, Dance With Me

Last night, I attended an “Ask the Author” event with my Writing Group.  It was different in that it was setup like more of a poetry workshop.  We were given several handouts of bible verses, and we had to pick one.  I decided to use John 15, since this particular chapter on love and abiding seems to be the theme of the last two weeks for me.  God has definitely been speaking through that chapter.  The poem below is what I came up with last night.  I added a few more words this afternoon.  It tells the journey of how God had me to relearn what love is after being in an emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years.

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My breakthrough came when I heard a message by Joyce Meyer, stating that in order to heal from abuse, we need to study as many bible verses on love as possible.  Romans 8, seemed to tear me up the most.  After studying about God’s love for a while, he allowed me to feel it.  I was so overwhelming, that I was almost knocked off my feet.  God never does anything halfheartedly.  The reckless love that God showed me cannot be put into words.  Sometimes, I would praise dance, and pretend as if I was a tree, and his love would take over.

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At the beginning of the summer, I had to face some very tough trials, and as God revealed himself to Moses, he revealed himself to me, allowing his entire Spirit to penetrate through me for a good four to five hours, reminding me that he was there, holding my hand, and ready to walk me through another storm.  This poem combines the love God taught me a few years ago, and the love that he poured on me a few months ago.  Blessings!

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Abide My Love, Dance With Me

Let his love so overflow,

Through my veins from head to toe.

Fill his presence on overwhelm,

Till that love tank is set at helm.

I now know no other love,

It’s not abuse,

Exploiting of doves.

For his love, we can’t explain.

No real words,

just like the pain.

Helps us heal from the abuse.

No more doormat,

He cut me loose.

Thought it was something that I’d just heard,

Your love engulfed me,

Felt so absurd.

The love you showed,

So overwhelmed,

Your love, it jerked me into a kiln.

Oh, now I know, “it” was the One,

Given to me,

Straight through your Son.

You are so dear, so dear to me,

To let me feel to this degree.

Oh, my Lord, almost too much,

To let me feel your Loving Touch.

Healing those places hurt by trauma,

Loving so fast,

it’s like my momma,

For it’s your love that healed my trauma,

Loving so fast,

it’s like my momma.

No greater love,

No one can copy,

You have the patent,

You own no sloppy.

It makes me dance, Just like a tree,

My arms are waving and feeling free.

I dance and sway, move to the right,

Your love reminds me

“No need to fight”.

Abide in Me, and I in you

Your love protects and helps me through.

You see when everyone is gone,

Your love is constant,

Helps me go on.

It makes me wonder,

How can it be,

That you decided to dance with me.

I can’t believe I danced so high,

And with your love, we touched the sky.

I can’t believe you came so close,

To showing your Spirit,

It made me roast.

In your embrace,

It took some time,

Just pouring and pouring,

Now I’m new wine.

 

If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.  John 15: 7-8

The Flow of the Tongue

Tonight, I sat at the kitchen table hoping and praying for God to give me the words for a poem.  Three days ago, I felt him nudging me about writing a poem on the power of our tongue.  For those of you who write poetry, you know that you can’t just write a poem.  The words have to come to you.  You have to feel the words and the rhythm.  Then, after they come to you, you have to write them down before they’re gone.

I sat and waited, and God delivered.

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The Flow of the Tongue

It’s our mouths we can’t control.

Full of poison, can’t make us whole.

Giving the cursing and the blessing,

Giving our faith for sure a testing.

Filled with bitter and the sweet.

Asking for life for us to repeat.

Setting on fire the pit of hell.

Sharing the gospel that it entails.

Filling with power, and hate, and love.

Edifies sisters and brothers from above.

Knowing that it is one of our members.

Showing our grace, our warmth, our tenders.

 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit. 

Proverbs 18:21

And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.  James 3: 6-12, NKJV

 

The Call of Wisdom

She Cries in the Streets

It is very hard when we are going through things in life.  The immediate response when trouble hits is to panic.  It is natural.  God created us to have emotions.  What tends to happen is that when we panic, we oftentimes forget to give ourselves room to breathe.  Room to pray, think about the situation, and breathe some more.  Satan usually have our minds in such an uproar, that anxiety often takes over, and then instead of us praying and asking God for discernment in these situations, we become reactive instead of responsive.  Anxiety and fear tells us that we have to come up with a solution right now.  Wisdom tells us to wait on God for promptings of the Holy Spirit on the how, when, why of the response.  Praise God that all we have to do is ask!

James 1:5:  “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

 

 

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Wisdom, She Cries in the Streets

Wisdom, Wisdom, She Cries in the Streets:

“Put the knowing into doing,

And discernment we will greet.”

Wisdom, Wisdom, It is ours for the asking.

Helps us make the right decisions.

Fills the blanks in the lacking.

Wisdom, Wisdom, Right with God in the Beginning.

Everything ever so perfect,

Right before there came the sinning.

Wisdom, Wisdom, it is given to us freely,

All we have to do is ask,

Get right down to praying and kneeling.

Wisdom, Wisdom, far more precious than those rubies:

God’s great grace poured out to help us,

To perform our earthly duties.

 

Be blessed,

 

Katina

Warmed and Filled

 

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I like to go to the beach to feel refreshed.  I love watching the ripple of the water hitting the rocks, feeling the breeze, and placing my feet just so in the sand, and reflecting on God’s creation, along with taking a few minutes to just breathe.

 

When we are sitting in “The Son”,

Getting our warmth from “The One”.

Whose burdens are light,

When we surrender our fight.

He’ll fill that empty void.

With his power, sin destroyed.

Running our cups on overflow, 

His name is Jesus, don’t you know?

There is nobody like our Wonderful Saviour Jesus!  We can rest in him when we feel the temptation to get filled up by all the other things in this life that will leave us feeling more empty and void of joy!

What are some of the things that you do in order to feel refreshed during the day?  Feel free to comment below.   Be blessed!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Psalms 23:5

Oh, the Pain of Waiting

It can be rough when we have to wait on God for his promises to come to pass.  I know myself, there have been times when I went ahead, and did my plan B, instead of waiting for God’s plan A, and then had to suffer terrible consequences.  God later helped o remedy my situation.  Oh, but the painful consequences in not trusting in God’s word, and knowing that it is enough.  God can still bless us when we circumvent his order of things.  However, his way is always the best way to go.  It saves us a lot of extra heartache, pain, and disappointment.  Plus, we are able to enjoy his blessings even more!

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We are waiting, we are waiting, for our son don’t you see,

Name is Isaac, it means laughter, waiting for the fam of three.

We are waiting, we are waiting for a boy to arrive.

We’ve been waiting, way too long, will we still be alive?

What you think, my dear Abe, should we wait any longer?

Getting wrinkled, getting old, can’t ignore this baby hunger.

Take my handmaid, my dear Hagar, she will make our dreams come true.

Oh the opposite, with her Ishmael, she will make your heart so blue.

Oh, but God, kept his word, even in all this mess, 

Here’s dear Isaac, here’s your son, you are now extremely blessed.

Hagar’s mean, I can’t stand her, just can’t take it any longer.

I despise her, will deny her, kick them out and make them hunger.

Oh dear Abe put them out, sent them packing in the desert.

Oh but God, he provided, brought them springs in this mess o’ hurt.

Just in case you get tired from God’s promise when you wait,

Think of Abe, little Isaac, and then Sarah, his dear mate.

Feel free to share in the comments below of a time that you wished that you had waited on God, and you took matters into your own hands.

Have a blessed weekend!

Isaiah 40:31 King James Version (KJV)

31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

 

The Story of Joseph

I love the story of Joseph, and I love how God’s favor was all over his life.  When I think about Joseph’s coat, it makes me think about my favorite coat as a kid.  It was coral blue with a red heart just below each shoulder.  I called it my “Heart to Heart” coat.  It is good to know that even when we are in our worst of times, God’s favor can still rise above the situation.  God can still put us in situations where people are doing things for us, and they don’t even know why they are doing them.  Praise God for his favor!
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Coat of Favor
 
It was Joseph, it was Joseph, he had favor don’t you see,
It was favor from our God from the Lord Almighty.
 
Coat of favor, coat of favor, filled with stripes, awe, and wonder.
Filled with power from his dreams that the brothers would bow under.
 
Feeling lost, hurt, rejected from our daddy don’t you know?
He can’t stay here …let’s just kill him, he can’t stay here… he must go!
 
Sold in slavery, faked his death to our father, and he grieved.
Oh thank goodness… he is gone, and we are granted our reprieve.
 
God of Joseph, Slave of Pharaoh, gave him elevated power.
Wife of Pharaoh, full of needy, stripped it all within the hour.
 
Put in prison, with the baker and cupbearer of the king.
Placed in charge by the warden, God’s good favor it would bring.
 
These two prisoners, had their dreams told, to them then, right by Joseph.
Don’t forget me, with the king, need release from this low self.
 
They forgot him, yes they did, till the king had his dream.
Couldn’t sleep, someone help, can you tell me what it means?
 
Oh yes, Joseph, he can help you…he can tell you what it means.
Oh no, God, he’s the Father and interpreter of dreams.
 
Oh then, Joseph, oh yes Joseph, told the king what would happen
You’re released, you’re promoted, get this plan right and mapping.
 
And he did, with God’s help, he saved Egypt from the famine
Saved his brothers, Growth in character, and his faith, as you imagine.
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The Lord was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. And his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord made all he did to prosper in his hand. So Joseph found favor in his sight, and served him. Then he made him overseer of his house, and all that he had he put under his authority. So it was, from the time that he had made him overseer of his house and all that he had, that the Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house for Joseph’s sake; and the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had in the house and in the field. Thus he left all that he had in Joseph’s hand, and he did not know what he had except for the bread which he ate.

Genesis 39: 2-6, NKJV