Episode 36: Sharing in Need Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Sharing in Need Podcast Outline
Value of Food
Sharing in Need
Good evening! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness Episode 36. Last week’s episode, Value of Prayer, can be found here.
There is hunger and lack of clean water in
several countries all over the world.
The problem of hunger is so bad that people have lost hope for
themselves and their children. It has
been said that the amount of food that we throw away as waste is enough food to
stop world hunger. The thing about being
good stewards, when it comes to God, is that stewardship is not just about
money, it is for everything that God owns:
“The earth is the LORD’s,
and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him.” (Psalms
24:1, NLT) This means our time, talents, our bodies, everything!
When I grew up as a child, we placed value on food, and how we used
it. It wasn’t just because we were poor,
but it was also because we realized just how many people were going without
food, and in such a desperate need. In
this day and age, we think nothing of having our kids throw whole plates of
food in the garbage without blinking an eye.
As Christians, sometimes we get so cozy in our homes, and the
immediate needs of our families, that we forget about our responsibility to
take care of the poor: “Religion that
is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their
affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27, ESV) It makes some of us uncomfortable to think about
giving away some of what we have. A lot
of times, when it comes to clothing, we have the same few pieces of clothing
that we like to wear over and over again anyway. Having a closet full of clothes gives the
illusion of false self-worth.
After the day
of Pentecost, the Christians were on such a spiritual high from the workings of
the Holy Spirit, that no one was in need: “All
the believers were of one heart and mind, and no one felt that what he owned
was his own; everyone was sharing. And
the apostles preached powerful sermons about the resurrection of the Lord
Jesus, and there was warm fellowship among all the believers,and no
poverty—for all who owned land or houses sold them and brought the money to the
apostles to give to others in need.” (Acts 4:32-37, TLB)
What would be required in order
for us to have this kind of situation going on now? It would require a change of heart and a
change of mind. Then our behavior will
follow: “If my people, which are called by my name,
shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked
ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal
their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14, KJV) God blesses repentance and good stewardship.
Thank you for what we have. We pray that you would move in our hearts to
do more to help others in need. We know
that we cannot outdo you when it comes to giving. Please help us to be mindful and sensitive to
others who are in dire circumstances, and that if we don’t have anything to
give, our hearts will be stirred to pray for those individuals.
In Jesus’ name,
Thank you for listening to Healing Our Brokenness. If the show is making a difference in your life, please refer a friend.
What do you think of when you think of God? Think about Hagar. When she was kicked out by Sarah, to fend for herself and her son, she called God, El Roi, The God who Sees. He saw her distress, and he provided for her and her son. Who is God to you? Ponder this as you read “El Roi”.
Episode 32: Surprised by Provision Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Surprised by Provision Podcast Outline
Surprised by Provision
There are a lot of things that happen in life that we are just not prepared for handling. As a matter of fact, if God revealed to us what was on the way, we’d take off running in the other direction. Sometimes one thing happens, and that one thing ends up changing your entire world for what you know it to be.
That is what happened to Naomi. She was
surprised by disappointment, and then surprised by provision.
Naomi and her husband Elimelech, and their
two sons decided to leave Bethlehem and reside in Moab because of the
famine. Instead of life getting better at this point, it got worse.
Elimelech died. Their two sons found wives and got married. Then
their two sons died.
Naomi decided to go back to Bethlehem, since
she heard that they had bread again. She figured that this might be a
small sign of God’s provision. Naomi told her two daughters-in-law to
head back to their homelands so that they could find husbands, since she didn’t
have any more sons. Orpah left, but Ruth decided to stay:
And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: (Ruth 1:16, KJV)
When they returned to Bethlehem, it was evident that
Naomi was surprised by God’s provision:
So they two went until they came to Bethlehem. And
it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved
about them, and they said, Is this Naomi?
And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me
Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me.
I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi,
seeing the Lord hath testified against me, and the Almighty
hath afflicted me?
So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess, her
daughter in law, with her, which returned out of the country of Moab: and they
came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest. (Ruth 1: 19-22, KJV)
Neither Ruth nor Naomi had a clue that going
back to Bethlehem would bring surprise provision itself. They went back
for bread. God had a little bit more than bread waiting for them.
He slowly began to reveal his plan.
Ruth went out to glean corn, and she met a man named
Boaz. They had a conversation, and Boaz let on to Ruth that God was
recompensing her work for her full diligence:
And Boaz answered
and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto
thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy
father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people
which thou knewest not heretofore.
The Lord recompense
thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.
2: 11-12, KJV)
When Ruth arrived back home, Naomi questioned her
about the food. Ruth told her that she had met a man by the name of
Boaz. Naomi knew this was good news:
And Naomi said unto her daughter in law, Blessed be
he of the Lord,
who hath not left off his kindness to the living and to the dead. And Naomi
said unto her, The man is near of kin unto us, one of our next kinsmen. (Ruth
2: 20, KJV )
According to the law, a kinsmen could be the
redeemer if a relative died. In this case, since Boaz was a kinsmen, he
could redeem the land that belonged to Elimelech and his two sons.
However, there was a kinsmen even closer than Boaz. This meant that he
had first pick. This relative didn’t want to forfeit his own inheritance.
Therefore, Boaz became the kinsmen redeemer.
And Boaz said unto the elders, and unto all
the people, Ye are witnesses this day, that I have bought all that was
Elimelech’s, and all that was Chilion’s and Mahlon’s, of the hand of Naomi.
Moreover Ruth the Moabitess, the wife of
Mahlon, have I purchased to be my wife, to raise up the name of the dead upon
his inheritance, that the name of the dead be not cut off from among his
brethren, and from the gate of his place: ye are witnesses this day. (Ruth 4: 9-10, KJV)
What a surprise! The women encouraged
Naomi, telling her that God hadn’t forgotten about her:
And the women said unto Naomi, Blessed be
the Lord, which
hath not left thee this day without a kinsman, that his name may be famous in
And he shall be unto thee a restorer of thy
life, and a nourisher of thine old age: for thy daughter in law, which loveth
thee, which is better to thee than seven sons, hath born him. (Ruth 4: 14-15, KJV)
My Surprise Disappointment
At the age of 25, I had my surprise
disappointment as well. I was pregnant with my first child, and I worked
all the way up to the day before delivery. At the time, I was the
breadwinner for the household, and I had all of the family health insurance in
my name. My son had his days and nights mixed up, and so for almost six
weeks, I had between two to three hours of consecutive sleep during the
night. I was at the point of extreme exhaustion, and I could tell that my
blood pressure was up.
This was confirmed when the home nurse came
out to check on me. As soon as she checked my blood pressure, she knew
that it was from lack of sleep. Four days before my six weeks was up, my
son started sleeping through the night for four consecutive
hours. However, I knew that I would
need two extra weeks of this before returning to work, or else my health would
I called my job and requested an additional two weeks off. I was informed that if I didn’t come back right away, it would be considered job abandonment. With $50 left to my name, and no emergency money, this was a hard call. I hung up the phone, and then wrestled with what to do. However, I also knew that if they were like this about my health, then they would be like this about my son’s health as well. I decided not to go back, not sure of how I would make it.
My Surprise Provision
My son was almost three months old when I
took him to his three-month checkup. After the appointment, I decided to
visit my old job, which was five minutes away. I got caught up with
everyone, and my old boss asked me when I would return to work. I told my
old boss what happened, and he said,” Just like that?”. I replied,” Yes,
just like that. End of story.” We laughed, and he asked me what I thought
of working for him again. I thought he was joking, but he was dead
serious. What a surprise!
Within two weeks, I was back to working
again. In the beginning, I worked a five-day week, then a 10 hour
four-day week while my son was little, before moving on to a different
job. I didn’t know, but God knew that his divine providence was waiting
for me at this place. Like Naomi, All I had to do was to go back and get
Thank you for helping us to step out on faith, even when we are not sure
what you have in store for us. In your name,
Episode 31: Giving the Best Gift Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Giving the Best Gift Podcast Outline
Shame over Gift-Giving
Peter and John’s Gift
There have been quite a few times over the years when I would see someone that’s homeless on the streets and was deeply moved with compassion and empathy for their situation. Majority of the time, when this happened, usually one of two things were going on: either I didn’t have cash on me, or I literally didn’t have the money. I would feel bad inside, then let them know that I wish that I had the money to give, and then say, “God bless”. Then, they would usually nod.
What I said didn’t fill their physical need. However, saying, “God bless” told them that I did care. Sometimes, we see Christians and non-Christians, and we wish that we could help, but for whatever reason, we just can’t. Satan often uses these times as tools to place a stronghold of shame on us. Money isn’t all that we can give others. We also have our time and our talents that we can bless others with. However, once we start the comparison trap, then this reality goes out the door along with everything else.
Peter and John faced the same situation with a man at the gate Beautiful, asking for money from the passersby. They didn’t have money to give him. They had something better: the gift of salvation leading to eternal life:
Now Peter and John went up together into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour.
2 And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple;
3 Who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple asked an alms.
4 And Peter, fastening his eyes upon him with John, said, Look on us.
5 And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something of them.
6 Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk.
7 And he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength.
8 And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God.
9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God:
We thank you for when we have money to help others who are in need. We also thank you for when we don’t have the money, knowing that the best help that we could ever give is the plan of salvation. Please help us to remember this when we encounter certain situations.
In case you missed our last episode, “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 2”, you can find that episode here. Today’s episode, Episode 27, is entitled Simply Grace. I hope that you enjoy this special poetry reading.
Simply Grace Podcast Outline:
Dissection of Topics and Reading of Poetry
Welcome to the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Episode 27:
Simply Grace. The intro and ending song
that you hear on the podcast is entitled “Valley of Grace” and is song by
Timothy Horton. Today is a special episode. Why is that?
I will be ready poetry from a book that I published back in February
entitled, “Simply Grace”. It is
available on Amazon. Simply Grace is a
compilation of simple, healthy recipes that are mostly non-meat, along with
poetry that tackles tough issues that we face every day. However, these issues are seasoned with
grace. I deal with truth, so that the truth
brings healing. We are set free by
true. I also deal with raw emotions.
The first poem, entitled “The Quench” deals with Approval
Reading of the poem
The next poem, entitled “The Source of Self-Worth” dissects
our need for self-worth, and not just the need, but the struggle to get it from
things, rather than the main source.
Reading of the poem
The next poem, entitled” Coat of Favor” deals with the Life
of Joseph, his trials, and his redemption.
Reading of the Poem
Have you ever taken matters into your own hands, instead of
waiting on God? The next poem deals with
just that. It is entitled, “Oh, The Pain
Reading of the Poem
For those of us who have been through abuse, we must relearn
what love is. That is what” Abide My
Love, Dance with Me” is all about: God’s love poured out on me to reshape my
thoughts on abuse. Secondly, it describes
how I danced with my Heavenly Father during a period of trials and financial despair,
and how God “showed me his back” as his showed Moses, so to speak, by allowing
me to feel his presence for several hours.
Reading of the Poem
The last poem, “I am the Vine, And So Is It Time?” deals with
a combination of things: the Crucifixion
of Jesus on the Cross, John 15, and the Clematis vine that I attempted to tie
to the trellis last spring as I was getting bit by mosquitos. The first time that I attempted this adventure,
there were too many mosquitos out. The second and final time I was finally able
to do it. However, just within the few
days of break in between, the clematis vine had completely wrapped itself around
one of the heucheras. It was a wonderful
way to see the scriptures in action.
Reading of the Poem
Thank you for listening to Episode 27: Simply Grace, and if
you are enjoying the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast, please recommend a friend,
share on social media, and/or subscribe to hear us on Youtube, Itunes, Google
Play, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can
also listen to us on the blog.
Episode 25: The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1 Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Hello everyone! I have a new podcast episode over on the blog. Just in case you missed the last episode, you can find that one here. Today’s podcast episode is entitled, “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1”. My podcast is now available on YouTube. Click here to subscribe to my YouTube Channel for podcast episodes.
The Sin of Cynicism Podcast Outline
Definition of Cynicism
Factors that Predispose Us for Cynicism
Abuse and Cynicism
Good evening! Welcome to the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast. Today’s recording is Episode 25: “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1”
Definition of Cynicism
the process of being a scorner, doubter, scoffer, having paranoia, mistrust,
and skepticism about things. Everyone is
cynical at one time or another, however, cynicism becomes a concern when it
gets in the way of life’s joys for us, other people being around us, and it is
labeled as part of our brokenness.
Blessed is the man that
walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor
sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
Factors that Predispose Us for Cynicism
several factors that make up the reasons for one adopting cynicism as part of
have experienced a lot of issues with betrayal.
are historical patterns of things not working out in your favor, or working out
in a way that is undesirable to you.
get to the point of seeing too much and hearing too much to think that things
will be different.
of the people that you trusted let you down.
few times that you thought things would turn out good, they turned out bad, and
you lost faith in believing that things could be different.
the case may be, from the outside looking in, it is easy to be judgmental to
something we don’t understand. It is not
a license for us to commit the sin.
However, empathy helps us to understand that the sin of cynicism is just
like having any other sin. It becomes
addictive, spreads like a disease, creates negativity, and begs for more.
After having to deal with a divorce from a toxic individual, I experienced some cynicism creeping in. As a matter of fact, I had someone to mention it to me. It made me become more aware of when I was allowing it to get a foothold.
Abuse and Cynicism
I have also
noticed that when individuals have been abused, and the abuser has run an
all-out smear campaign packed with lies against the victim , and then
brainwashes, and pulls in the victim’s family, it becomes the perfect tool for Satan
to intertwine inside this person as a stronghold, rather than just a phase of
individual starts to believe that no one can be trusted. We know that this isn’t true. However, when we are in pain, we often shake
hands with Satan for all kinds of addictions and coping mechanisms to cover up
We can vacillate
from one end of the spectrum to another.
Either we are too trusting, or we distrust everyone.
a while to gain. When trust is broken
through lies and betrayal, we are left with the thoughts in our minds that
everyone will do the same thing that this person or persons did to us.
our pain and hurt with healing is the hard, but fruitful way out of cynicism. But as with any coping mechanism, what we
have allowed to go on for so long becomes part of our normal and dysfunctional
patterns of behavior.
aren’t happening our way, in our will, and in our timing, we trade whole faith and
God’s promises for broken pieces of cynicism.
I want to
leave you with some bible verses to help you if the sin of cynicism is a part
of your brokenness:
11 I ask,
then, has God rejected his people? By no means! For I myself am an
Israelite, a descendant of Abraham,[a] a
member of the tribe of Benjamin. 2 God has not rejected his people whom
he foreknew. Do you not know what the Scripture says of Elijah, how he
appeals to God against Israel? 3 “Lord, they have killed your prophets, they have
demolished your altars, and I alone am left, and they seek my life.” 4 But what is God’s reply to
him? “I have kept for myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the
knee to Baal.” 5 So too at
the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. 6 But if it is by grace, it
is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.
15 We who
are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and
not to please ourselves. 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good,
to build him up. 3 For Christ
did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who
reproached you fell on me.”4 For whatever was written in former days was
written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the
encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5 May the God of endurance
and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in
accord with Christ Jesus, 6 that together you may with one voice
glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Therefore welcome one
another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
Thank you for listening to Episode 25 of Healing Our Brokenness: “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1”. Remember if this podcast is making a difference in your life, recommend a friend for listening. Thanks, and have a beautifully blessed weekend!
The Potter-This poem depicts the awesome work of our Creator, God himself. He is going to keep working on us, if we allow him to be in control instead of us trying to take the reigns. If you didn’t read my last poem, “Refusal to Heal”, you can find that one here.
Episode 24: Hurting People Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
00:00 / 00:14:53
Hello everyone! I hope that you enjoyed your Resurrection weekend! In case you missed the last podcast episode, you can click here to catch up.
Hurting People Podcast Outline
Hurting People Hurt Unintentionally
Hurting People Hurt Intentionally
David and His Hurting Men
How to Stop the Cycle
Good morning! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness Episode 24: Hurting People. We have all heard of the phrase “Hurting People Hurt People”. While some of us may not like the phrase itself, it is the truth. God gives us freedom in truth. We are all broken. We live in a broken, fallen world. Because we are broken, until we mend and glue together the broken pieces of the puzzle to our family’s iniquities, we will continue to intentionally and unintentionally hurt others.
We unintentionally hurt others when we live with unhealed brokenness from the wounds of our past, sin, pain, and pride. Our unhealed wounds bleed out onto our immediate and extended families, coworkers, and Sisters and Brothers in Christ. A lot of times, when we are broken, we become so self-absorbed in our own pain and wounds, that we don’t even notice that other people are going through things themselves.
We make vows that we will never be like our family member or other person who inflicted pain upon us. However, if we are not going through some form of healing, whether it’s seeing a therapist, coach, or seeking self-help through books, we end up being just like them. Our kids start learning dysfunctional patterns of behavior and coping mechanisms for pain. We hurt them with our pain, and then they learn how to live their adult lives by what they see us doing. We continue to pass down this vicious cycle.
My Family’s Pain
Upon moving to my last residence, my kids and I had suffered so much trauma. And it wasn’t just that we had suffered trauma. We were trauma bonded through some of the events that had taken place. Because we were all dealing with an extreme amount of pain, initially we could only see ourselves as the ones who were the victim. Each one of us blamed the other person and put on the persona of being innocent. In actuality, each one of us had hurt each other unintentionally. We were blind to the truth.
Before moving from my last residence, I began taking serious steps of dealing with the trauma that I had endured in my life. Not only did I begin to deal with it, but I learned how to be vulnerable. And I had to learn the difference between vulnerability and surface vulnerability. When surface vulnerability occurs, you tell stay on the surface, only telling people what you think they want to hear so that you don’t look like the “broken one”.
When we intentionally hurt others, we make sure that other people are going to pay for what someone else did to us. If we were invalidated, then we make sure that everybody else is constantly invalidated. If were abused, then we abuse. If we were judged and criticized, then we make it our mission to judge and criticize others. If our beef is with something that another male or female did, then every male and female will have to pay. We turn into bashers.
For example, I was watching a television show, and on the show, one lady was trying to run a smear campaign on her former brother-in-law because he had operated on her sister, who had cancer and died. It had been discovered that negligence hadn’t taken place. However, she kept making her point that he would pay for what he had done.
Another female character told her that making her former brother-in-law pay for her sister’s death wasn’t going to bring her sister back. She had wounds that she needed to heal. She had pain that she needed to deal with. Blame blinds us to facing the truth that we are hurting. Blame works as a comfort pacifier and prevents us from seeing what the real problem is. Making others pay definitely doesn’t change the truth. It doesn’t right what was wronged. It doesn’t stop our hearts and souls from bleeding out. It only makes matters worse.
David and his men had been out on a mission. They returned to Ziklag, only to find it burned, raided, and the women and children taken captive. They were all in such pain, that they almost killed David. Killing David would have only provided temporary relief. At the end of the day, whatever we use to numb our pain will only be temporary. Our problems are still there. We have only added to the depth of them.
30 David and his men reached Ziklag on the third day. Now the Amalekites had raided the Negev and Ziklag. They had attacked Ziklag and burned it, 2 and had taken captive the women and everyone else in it, both young and old. They killed none of them but carried them off as they went on their way.
3 When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. 4 So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. 5 David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. 6 David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.
7 Then David said to Abiathar the priest, the son of Ahimelek, “Bring me the ephod.” Abiathar brought it to him, 8 and David inquired of the Lord, “Shall I pursue this raiding party? Will I overtake them?”
“Pursue them,” he answered. “You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue.”
How to Stop the Cycle
When we are in pain, we take out hurt and hearts to Jesus. He is the only one who can help us to sort through the mess of our past.
Take responsibility and sign up for therapy and support group where we can be held accountable.
Refuse to give in to the enemy’s plan to isolate ourselves.
Listen to good preaching.
Read self-help books.
We are intentional about not making ourselves targets for the spirits of self-pity and blame.
Pray and ask others for forgiveness and patience as we wrestle through the pain and wounds of our past.
Thank you for listening to Episode 24: Hurting People! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Sabotage Our Healing with Busyness and Instability
Sabotaging Our Healing by Allowing Shame and Perception Of Others to Reign
Sabotaging Our Healing by Surrounding Ourselves with Clutter
Lastly, we Sabotage Our Healing by Refusing to Do What We’re Told
Good morning! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness. And today we are recording Episode 23: Sabotaging Our Healing. When we think of the word sabotage, it suggests the following: “getting in the way, damaging, intentionally interrupting, preventing something from taking place. When we think of sabotaging our healing, it means that we are harming or preventing ourselves from healing. Since the rewards of healing is astronomical, why would we want to prevent ourselves from doing it? There are several reasons why:
We’re afraid to face the pain.
We don’t want the work.
We don’t want to use our free time to do it.
We really don’t want to be free because we have been in bondage for so long, and so, the bondage that we know is better than the freedom that we don’t.
There are several ways that we sabotage our healing:
Sabotage Our Healing with Busyness and Instability- We will fill our days up from morning till night being busy so that we don’t have to sit long enough to feel. If we work outside the home, we spend hours shopping after work before going home. If we work inside the home, we make sure that we are busy from morning to night. We think that we can outsmart our mind and emotions. I have been guilty of doing this one myself. What I noticed is that one of three things usually happen.
Situation 1: When we finally lay down to go to bed, our minds are going 100 mph with anxiety. We start going over all the things that we did during the day. The feelings start coming up. Our past starts knocking on our door. Unhealed brokenness starts bleeding out. Obtrusive thoughts start settling in. Then, we end up not being able to go to sleep for several hours because our minds are trying to process everything that we didn’t allow it to process during the day. Several days of this can turn into weeks, and then weeks into months. And if we didn’t have trauma before, there is definitely a chance of developing it then. We can only go so many days like this. Our bodies can’t sustain this lifestyle without breaking down.
Situation 2: We conk out as soon as our heads hit the pillow. Because we haven’t processed anything, we are running on empty in every area. We keep putting off dealing with certain things until they are a must. And when we have to deal with it, we end up shutting down, or having a complete emotional meltdown/tantrum. This can play out at work, school, home, church wherever.
When we are on emotional and mental overload, there is no way to control when and where it will come out. Even now, I have to remind myself to take a break from work and give myself thirty minutes to lay down and think about nothing. This became an issue for me after the trauma that occurred within the last seven years. Believe it or not, as soon as I begin to relax, I can feel emotions coming up. I also like to have reflection time in the morning when I wake up. If I am in a rush and have to leave out an emotional mess from backed up grief, my emotions only intensify as the day goes on.
Situation 3: We become consistently inconsistent at everything. Lack of structure gets in the way of our healing. When we are all over the place, our minds are all over the place, and then our lives and relationships are all over the place.
Sabotaging Our Healing by Allowing Shame and Perception Of Others to Reign-This is also one that I am guilty of having to watch myself. If I allow my brokenness of perfectionism and the shame that it’s friends with to kick in, I am more tempted to want to hold off sharing with my life-giving friends or therapist about what is going on now, or a situation that happened in the past.
I get caught up wondering what the person will think of me, how I will be perceived, and the list goes on and on. I also get caught up in wondering whether or not I will possibly “lose it” and have an “ugly face” cry in front of others. I have to remind myself that these are safe people, and if I cry, so what! I ‘m human. We’re all broken. Satan will try whatever way that he can to discourage us from being vulnerable. Vulnerability in a safe environment with time and space chips away the stone of shame.
Sabotaging Our Healing by Surrounding Ourselves with Clutter-We fill up every knick and cranny of our homes and our cars with clutter. It prevents us from being able to gain clarity about anything. It prevents us from having structure and space to feel. We also have problems making decisions because the clutter is serving as an emotional pacifier. As soon as the clutter starts being lifted, then we can be tempted to go back again. Our addictions take the place of feeling the hurt and pain that we are holding keeping at bay. Being surrounded by excessive clutter takes the place of being able to dig into our feelings. Therefore, we often go back to our addictions. The pain becomes too much to bear. And instead of pressing in, we press out to comfort.
Lastly, we Sabotage Our Healing by Refusing to Do What We’re Told-If our therapists, coaches, friends, pastors, or others give us godly counsel in regard to our behavior, we have already come up with 50 excuses as to why we can’t begin to make changes. We are intent on doing it the way that we want to do it. However, nine times out of ten, our way isn’t going to work. If it was, we would have started making changes.
Naaman went to see Elisha in order to be healed from leprosy. He almost sabotaged his own healing because he didn’t want to do what he was told. He wanted Elisha to come out and do a powerful healing ceremony. He thought that he was “too good” to stoop to Elisha’s healing instructions. Elisha instructed him to wash in the Jordan seven times. He finally did it, with some prodding from his servant. But, he definitely wasn’t happy about it.
So Naaman went with his horses and chariots and stopped at the door of Elisha’s house. 10 Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, “Go, wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed.”
11 But Naaman went away angry and said, “I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy. 12 Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Couldn’t I wash in them and be cleansed?” So he turned and went off in a rage.
13 Naaman’s servants went to him and said, “My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, ‘Wash and be cleansed’!” 14 So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy.
Naaman almost missed out on his healing because he wanted it “his way”. What happens when we want things our way? We miss out on everything God has to offer and more. God uses wise people to lead us to make wise decisions. However, he will not beg us to do our part.
So, what is the solution to combatting sabotage? Desiring a life that thrives over a life of stagnancy. No one can give us the desire and motivation to heal. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula. The comfort is that Jesus will be there with us in the fire. We can teach our kids and leave a legacy behind that stops the generational sins of our fathers.
God bless! Thanks for listening to Episode 23: Sabotaging Our Healing
If you are ready to heal from Trauma or Any Brokenness, and you are tired of the Sabotage Cycle, check out brokenpieces.teachable.com for Two Courses: Broken Pieces: From Survival Mode to the Life of Thriving & De-Clutter Your Home, De-Clutter Your Mind, and De-Clutter Your Life