Episode 13: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma

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Episode 13: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma
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trauma, eye doctor, healing, grace, living with and healing from trauma, emotional health, mental health, psychological health, depression, ptsd, ptsd survivor, doctor, eye doctor, podcaster, podcasting, podcast, healing our brokenness, katina horton, simple functional grace-filled living, eyes, exams, physical health, traumatized
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Our last podcast, Lost in the Woods of Trauma, dealt with the process of going from having the trauma identity to reign, to have our identity in Christ to take over. This week’s episode: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma, shares about the embarrassing moments that we all have when we live with and heal from trauma on a daily basis, even when we have come a long way with our healing. It also handles how to see these moments as God sees them. Click to listen!

Podcast Outline

Traumatic Childhood Events

My Traumatic Childhood Event

My Eye Doctor Visit

Grace Aspect: My Resolve

Grace Aspect: Bible Verses for Meditation

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who was tempted in every way that we are, yet was without sin.  Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy, and find grace to help us in our time of need.


Hebrews 4: 15-16

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Digestion Aspect: Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis

emotional health, anxiety, mental health, depression, anxiety, eating, food, grieving, ptsd survivor, podcaster, author, blogger, blog, blogger life, digestion, regurgitation, hypersensitive, trauma

emotional health, anxiety, mental health, depression, anxiety, eating, food, grieving, ptsd survivor, podcaster, author, blogger, blog, blogger life, digestion, regurgitation, hypersensitive, trauma
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In our Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis Series, I dissect issues and symptoms of PTSD/trauma. This is in hopes of letting people know that they are not alone, as well as giving people the freedom to comment, and talk about how PTSD/trauma has affected their lives in these areas. The last post in the Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis Series was one dealing with the Holiday Aspect of trauma. You can find that post here. Today’s post will focus on the Digestion Aspect.

One surprising revelation for me was realizing that PTSD/trauma actually affects your digestion. I stumbled upon this realization in June of 2014, a couple of months after getting divorced. There are three things that I noticed when it comes to trauma and digestion:

Trauma and grief will come out in the form of regurgitation.

I am not trying to sound gross here, so please bear with me. Due to complications with my ex-husband’s health, as well as the fact that I had stuffed my emotions for so long, my grief was delayed. Grieving my divorce, and all the events surrounding it, were delayed. Alleviating some of the symptoms that I was experiencing seemed downright frightening because of stuffing for so long.

This caused me to be in a vicious cycle of stuffing and feeling like my face and chest was going to explode, with very little relief. Trauma is in the tissues, and so I discovered, along with reading information on my own, that movement, grief, and massaging helped to release it. The problem came into play when I finally felt like I could release the trauma. However, the underlying feeling was that if I started crying, there would be no bottoming out. Subconsciously, I knew it was going to be a bad release.

Instead of my system waiting any longer, it released the trauma and grief in the form of regurgitation. Initially, I thought that it was just that maybe something upset my stomach. However, after four rounds of this, and feeling grief in between each round, I knew that wasn’t the case at all. It didn’t take long to put two and two together.

I felt very vulnerable, and my son kept asking me, “What did you eat?” I told him that it had nothing to do with the food. It was physiological.

Trauma will cause your system to get confused about hunger and fullness.

Another weird discovery that I made is that every now and then, stored trauma and unreleased grief will make your system confused as far as satiety is concerned. There are times when I have felt like I could keep eating forever. Then, there are other times that I feel hungry, and then attempt to eat, but will all of a sudden feel full.

Lastly, there are times when I can literally feel my emotions trapped in my midsection, causing my body to try to figure out whether it is satisfied, or it needs more food. It is the weirdest thing. It doesn’t happen as much anymore. However, when it happens, it can be very frustrating.

When doing research, one of the explanations that I found is that because of PTSD/trauma, at times, the blood that should flow into the stomach, moves away from it, going to other areas like the arms.

Trauma will cause you to become hypersensitive to certain foods, causing severe panic attacks when consumed in normal portions.

The last issue that I would like to discuss is how trauma causes hypersensitivity to foods. These foods vary from person to person. For me, it was sugar. I first discovered this when I decided to eat a glazed donut in 2015.

Within five minutes, a severe panic attack came on, I felt like I was going to hit the roof. The only thing that would help my system to calm down was drinking an excess amount of water, and then deep breathing, and a lot of prayer. Taking multivitamins has helped , but it is still not the same.

My system has improved a little. However, it can’t handle what it once was able to. Sometimes, I get frustrated with this fact. It is what it is. I have learned to accept the fact that a few moments of pleasure for an hour or more of panic just isn’t worth it.

How has PTSD/trauma affected your digestion? What are some of the ways that you use to cope with it?

God bless,

Katina

Released

walls, piercing, heart, God, emotional health, thriving, spiritual health, mental health, living, healing, survival, poetry,poem, poet, author, blogger, blogger life, author life, writer

The last poem that I wrote, The Advancer, can be found here. Today’s poem, Released, describes what happens when Christ gets a hold of our hearts. When we are open, he can heal us, and take us from a life of just surviving, to a fruitful life filled with thriving. God bless!

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Released

The Savior

The Son of God

He pierces

Straight through the heart

To the point

Where we Confess

That we’re tired

Of the Same, Old Mess

The Lifestyle

Of just coping and surviving

We’re done now

Let’s get to the thriving

He breaks down

The power of Sin

Holy Spirit

Come dwells within

He breaks down

All the walls of doubt

And His Name

Alone gives him clout

He breaks down

All power of sin

All God’s people

Can say Amen

Meditation Verse

Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

1 Corinthians 6:11

The Advancer

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We have our plans, and then God has his. Three or four people can be doing the exact same thing, and two people may succeed, and the other two may not. Second option: The other two may have to wait for God to release. So, sometimes if you haven’t been released for success yet, it isn’t necessarily that you aren’t do everything right, it may not be your timing yet. God is the advancer, and we are not. Sometimes that realization is difficult to sink in. As individuals, it can be easy to get caught in this type of thinking. It becomes another way to stay stuck in the comparison trap. When we submit to his will, and do our part, he makes it plain. This poem, The Advancer, deals with this aspect in a nutshell. Last week’s poem, Why I Write, can be found here. God bless!

writing, advancer, vision, plain, habakkuk, poetry, poem, poet, podcaster, writer, author, blogger, blogger life, spiritual health, waiting

The Advancer

Writing the Vision.

Making It Plain.

Doing His Calling.

Dancing in Rain.

Waiting on God.

Seeing How He Answers.

Trusting in Him.

The Mighty Advancer.

Meditation Verse

Habakkuk 2: 1-3

I will stand at my guard post and station myself on the ramparts. I will watch to see what He will say to me and how I will answer my reproof.  Then the LORDanswered me:“Write down this vision and clearly inscribe it on tablets,so that a herald may run with it.  For the vision awaits an appointed time; it testifies of the end, and will not lie. Though it lingers, wait for it, since it will surely come and not delay.…

Why I Write

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The last poem that I wrote was entitled, “Gratitude, Gratitude”, and it can be found here. Today’s poem takes you on a winding adventure of why I have chosen to write. Please feel free to send in your comments below on why it is that you have chosen the path of writing.

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Why I Write

I write from the heart.

No, it’s not just a part.

It’s the pain and the struggles.

It’s the drama and the tuggles.

The laughter and the cries.

The births and the byes.

The ins and the outs.

The moments filled with doubt.

The pushing past surviving.

The greeting of the thriving.

The heartaches and the pain.

The neverending rain.

The beauty and the ashes.

The life that’s filled with dashes.

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.


Proverbs 29:18 King James Version (KJV)

Episode 12: Lost in the Woods of Trauma

trauma, identity, stolen identity, anxiety, depression, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, ptsd survivor, podcast, poet, poetry, podcaster, blogger life, blogger, author, woods, lost, rock bottom

Episode 12: Lost in the Woods of Trauma
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Have you ever lost your kid? That’s the scariest thing in the world? What about you? Have you ever been lost yourself? I mean really lost!!! Think about how you felt. Today, on Healing Our Brokenness, we are going to discuss being lost in the woods. Lost in the woods is a term that I give for “Identity Issues of Trauma.” I described this issue in the poem that I wrote that is called, “Stolen Identity”. You can find that poem here.

trauma, identity, stolen identity, anxiety, depression, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, ptsd survivor, podcast, poet, poetry, podcaster, blogger life, blogger, author, woods, lost, rock bottom
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  • Lost in the Woods of Trauma Outline
  • Discussion of Being Lost
  • What Led to My Discovery of Being Lost in the Woods
  • How I Grounded Myself
  • What did David Do When he was Lost in the Woods?
  • Bible Verses to Meditate On

Psalm 143 King James Version (KJV)

143 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.

And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.

For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead.

Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.

I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.

10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.

11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.

12 And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

Gratitude, Gratitude

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A couple of months ago, I wrote a post entitled “Gratitude Check”. You can find that post here. Today, I decided to write a poem to help us to dissect the why behind gratitude.

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Gratitude, Gratitude

Gratitude, Gratitude

It all stems from our attitude.

Are we entitled, or undeserving?

Happy for,

Or sad and nerving?

Can we just thank him?

For Life and Health?

And every moment we take our breath?

Can we write down the things he’s done?

To show our God his love has won?

Gratitude, Gratitude

It all stems from our attitude.

Bible Verses to Meditate on:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5: 18

100 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.King James Version (KJV)

Psalms 100

Blessings, Blessings

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Background on Blessings, Blessings

Yesterday, I wrote a poem called “The Captain of the Ship”. You can find that poem here. Today’s poem deals with a different subject. Sometimes we get so caught up in our day to day living that we focus on the things that we have been blessed with instead of focusing on the source, the Creator of the universe. This poem is meant to cause one stop and take notice of what is most important in life: our “Gem”, the King of Kings.

Blessings, Blessings

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Blessings, Blessings.

Here and there.

Blessings, Blessings.

Everywhere.

Do we focus on the kings?

Or, do we focus on Him?

Do we focus on the things?

Or, do we focus on the “Gem”?

Blessings, Blessings.

Here and there.

Blessings, Blessings.

Everywhere.

James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Genesis 22: 16-17

16 and said, “I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies,

Genesis 27: 28-29

28 May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine. 29 May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.”

Old Year, New Reflections

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The last poem that was written, “Stolen Identity”, can be found here. This poem, “Old Year, New Reflections” deals with the reality of what I’ve had to face this year, as well as the things that I have to look forward to in the new year. As you read through this poem, take the time to reflect on what this year meant to you, as well as what the promise of the New Year brings.

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A New Year approaches.

New theme.

New time.

New wisdom to greet.

New healing is mine.

A year filled with options, much pain, new gain.

A heart filled with wholeness and heaviness remains,

A year filled with trauma, and doubts, and reactions.

A heart filled with faith and then works put into action.

New meaning.

New surrender.

New responses.

New cheer.

A heart filled with God for a Happy New Year.

God bless,

Katina

Stolen Identity

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One of the worst things to happen is to be a victim of stolen identity. Sometimes it can take a couple of years to recover all the information that has been lost. When you are Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis, you also experience a sense of stolen identity. This poem has been written with the hopes that you can relate and find comfort in Our Creator, who gives the final stamp of approval.

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Stolen Identity

Identity.

Broken.

From trauma’s pieces.

Unspoken.

Like a little child.

Lost in the woods.

Look at all the roles.

And then all the should’s.

Where am I?

Who am I?

How do I get back?

judge, stolen identity, ptsd, anxiety, depression, ptsd survivor, blogger, author, speaker, lost, emotional health, mental health,
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Follow the cross.

Where it gives no slack.

You are in the court building.

Where the Judge sits on high.

Where his throne reaches ceiling.

And then out through the sky.

“You have been adopted.

You know who you are.

Memories were so blocked.

Had you traveling way too far.

Ground yourself in me.

Where you’ll find your name.

You’ve already been set free.

You will never be the same.”

Bible Verses to Meditate On:

 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

1 Peter 2:9

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

John 1: 12

he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—

Ephesians 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Jeremiah 1:5