Episode 52: Living in the Moment

living in the moment, emotional health, mental health, overwhelmed, acceptance, expectation, resolution, maturity, realization, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, podcast, episode 52

Episode 52: Living in the Moment
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...

 
 
00:00 / 00:20:13
 
1X
 

Living in the Moment Introduction

We all have a never-ending list of things to do. We are so maxed out that we are piling up three and four things at a time, but not fully present to any one thing. How can this change? Take a listen to today’s podcast episode.

living in the moment, emotional health, mental health, overwhelmed, acceptance, expectation, resolution, maturity, realization, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, podcast, episode 52
Photo by Sarah Pflug

Show Notes

Podcast Outline

  • My Encounter
  • What Jesus Says

Challenge Questions:

What are some of the steps that you can take in order to be more present?

What are some of the patterns of behavior that you have observed that prevents you from living in the moment?

Advertisements

I Can’t Sleep!

sleep deprivation, trauma, PTSD, insomnia, waking up, living with and healing from trauma, brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle

Sleep is one of those things that we can’t live without. At one time or another, we’ve all had problems sleeping. But what happens when lack of sleep starts to get the best of you? Read the poem below to find out.

I Can’t Sleep

I can’t sleep! I can’t sleep!

Do I pray or do I weep?

sleep deprivation, trauma, PTSD, insomnia, waking up, living with and healing from trauma, brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle
Photo by Shopify Partners

Let the music play in your head.

Rest in Jesus while in your bed.

This lack of sleep, all part of trauma.

Give him your fears and all your drama.

I can’t sleep! I can’t sleep!

“I know my child.

My grace runs deep.”

The Sleep Aspect: Living With and Healing From Trauma

sleep deprivation, trauma, PTSD, insomnia, waking up, living with and healing from trauma, brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle

Introduction to The Sleep Aspect

We all love a good night’s sleep. When I picture falling asleep, I think about having just the right amount of flat sheets, a soft comforter, a few pillows surrounding me, just the right temperature in the house, and having sweet dreams. Just thinking about this scene would make all of us stop and long for sleep.

sleep deprivation, trauma, PTSD, insomnia, waking up, living with and healing from trauma, brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle
Photo by Shopify Partners

Sleep can be one of the sweetest things in the world, and then on the other side of that coin, it can be that of agony for a person living with PTSD/trauma on a daily basis. There is also no rhyme or reason as to when sleep deprivation will occur.

sleep deprivation, trauma, PTSD, insomnia, waking up, living with and healing from trauma, brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle
Photo by Matthew Henry

Breakdown of My Sleep Aspect of Trauma

Five years ago, unbeknownst to me, I entered an extremely toxic work environment. At the time, I had already been dealing with sleep issues as a side effect of the trauma of my divorce, as well as the events immediately preceding and following the divorce. I would describe the events as a crazy Lifetime movie. Unfortunately, this movie was my life. Although I was already having problems staying and falling asleep, nothing could compare to the level of sleep problems that occurred as a by-product of working at this company for nine months.

People living with PTSD/trauma often face two issues when it comes to sleep: falling asleep and staying asleep. I had and have both. During the time that I worked at this company, I would try to fall asleep around 10 pm. From 10:00 pm to 3:00 a.m, I would fall asleep for a few minutes, wake up with my teeth and whole body tense and clenched tight, and the cycle would start all over again.

Breakdown Part Two

I am going to keep it real here. The first couple of times that this happens, you find yourself trying to stay positive and you start telling yourself not to overly think about. “Don’t be concerned about the time.” However, when you have done this 5 or more times within five hours, and realize that you have only had a total of maybe one hour of sleep, and you have to get up pretty soon for work, the positivity can wear off real fast. I had to wake up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, which if we all do the math, we know that this isn’t enough time for restful adequate sleep.

The toxic job, along with this vicious cycle of sleep caused major life-threatening thyroid problems, along with an overactive adrenal gland.

God granted me grace by allowing me to be let go from this toxic environment. It gave me time to heal and try to breathe again.

Sleep Aspect: What’s Going On Now

I still have issues with my sleep patterns due to trauma. They are not as frequent as they were, but they are still a problem. Last week took me clearly by surprise.

I had been suffering with sinus and allergy issues since August, and last week these issues came to a head. And guess what came with it? Sleep deprivation from trauma. I had two nights with four nights of sleep.

Then, I had one night with five nights of sleep. Just as I thought I was turning the corner, the following night was an all-nighter with only one hour of sleep at best. I nodded off for ten minutes at a time, woke up, and then stayed up for hours, with my body attempting sleep several more times.

I have to get up at 4:00 for work, and so, when this time came, and I was still awake, I reluctantly resigned to calling in and staying home. What I had to do was to give myself grace and compassion. I had to tell myself that I needed a time-out to rest, get in as many liquids as I could to help my sinus issues, and just relax. Finally, I fell asleep at 5:00 a.m. and slept until close to nine.

I would have liked to sleep until one o’clock. However, that didn’t happen. What did happen is that I literally laid down for part of the day, and sat up part of the day and allowed myself to rest physically, emotionally, and spiritually in Jesus. Sometimes we just have to admit that we are having a bad day, week, month, year, and simply REST!!!

Sleep Aspect Conclusion

Sleep deprivation from trauma is real. I won’t downplay it. However, God is also real, and he can meet us right where we are. When we have these hiccups in our schedule, the devil wants to make us think we are right back where we are. WE ARE NOT!!

Unfortunately sleep issues are a part of living with and healing from trauma on a daily basis, but it doesn’t define us. God does! And guess what? When I couldn’t sleep during the night, I had praise music playing in my head as if I had turned on a radio. Even though my feelings were telling me different, God was telling me that he was with me.

God bless and have a wonderful rest of your week!!!

What are some of the things that you do to help yourself when you are dealing with the sleep aspect of trauma?

Shutting Down

shutting down, emotional health, valley of grace, katina horton, mental health, psychology, trauma, PTSD, coping mechanisms, staying grounded, bare feet, feelings, emotions

Synopsis of Shutting Down

We all respond different when we shut down from trauma. This poem is meant to encourage you and cause you to dig deeper in order to move forward. God bless!

shutting down, emotional health, valley of grace, katina horton, mental health, psychology, trauma, PTSD, coping mechanisms, staying grounded, bare feet, feelings, emotions
Photo by Shanu D. at Shopify

Shutting Down

Shutting down.

Shutting down.

Trying hard to maintain ground.

Feeling stuck.

A little unclear.

Knowing God.

Is always near.

Look around!

Look around!

Getting close to gaining ground,

Touch and feel and know you’re here.

No numbing out.

Just feel the tears.

Challenge Question:

What are your go-to methods when you find yourself shutting down?

Episode 51: I Can’t See

vision, positioning, deception, truth, healing the blind man, emotional health, mental health, psychology, healing our brokenness, katina horton, episode 51, podcaster, podcasting

Episode 51: I Can’t See
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...

 
 
00:00 / 00:21:14
 
1X
 

I think everyone at one time or another have had the following words to come out of their mouths, “I Can’t See”. However, what does that really mean? Well, there are several different circumstances for each of us. Listen to this week’s podcast to find out what I couldn’t see.

vision, positioning, deception, truth, healing the blind man, emotional health, mental health, psychology, healing our brokenness, katina horton, episode 51, podcaster, podcasting
Photo by Adrien Olichon

I Can’t See Podcast Outline

  • Childhood Story
  • Adult Story
  • Recent Incident
  • Scripture Focus
  • Mark 8:22-26

Jesus Heals a Blind Man at Bethsaida

22 They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23 He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”

24 He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”

25 Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26 Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t even go into the village.”

Challenge Question:

What are you positioning yourself to “not” see?

Have a blessed week!

Katina

Family

family, emotional health, mental health, feelings, poetry, poem, gatherings, dine, dancing, laughter, singing, freedom, unique, creation

Lots of times being with family can bring out a full range of emotions all at once or individually. This particular poem illustrates the happy, freeing moments of family time. As you read through the poem, ponder over the following questions: What are some words that come to mind when you think of family? What are some of the emotions that are stirred up? How can you engage more with your family?

family, emotional health, mental health, feelings, poetry, poem, gatherings, dine, dancing, laughter, singing, freedom, unique, creation
Photo by Sarah Pflug

Family

Family-it’s what we need.

Family-there’s strength indeed.

Biological or spiritual-doesn’t matter.

Some prefer the former, some prefer the latter.

Hold them tight.

Hold them near.

Just have fun.

Make it dear.

Laugh and twirl.

Turn around.

Dance and sing.

Hit the ground.

Move your feet to the beat.

Hand in hand.

Oh, how neat!

Reminisce.

Good old times.

Gather ’round.

Time to dine.

Jesus saith unto them, Come and dine. And none of the disciples durst ask him, Who art thou? knowing that it was the Lord.

John 21:12

Episode 50: The Journey Reading

journey, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, podcaster, podcast, episode 50, blogging, PTSD, trauma, Toxic work environment

Episode 50: The Journey Reading
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...

 
 
00:00 / 00:24:51
 
1X
 

Show Notes: The Journey Reading

How many of you have gone on a journey? We take many things with us when we embark on our journeys. When you went on your journey, what did you decide to take with you?

journey, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, podcaster, podcast, episode 50, blogging, PTSD, trauma, Toxic work environment
Photo by Matthew Henry

Sometimes, there are things that we plan to take on our journey, and other times that are things that happen to us that are totally unplanned. Today’s podcast will feature a reading from my first book. I would classify it as an autobiography/ faith journey. There were several things that happened to me on my journey. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t have planned for a lot of the things that happened to happen. However, it is through this journey that God has made me stronger, and allowed me to see that he is my only security, and that it is through his grace that I am where I am today.

God bless!

Fear

fear, perfect love, psychology, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, spiritual attack

When it comes to fear, there is no respect of persons. It gets a toehold, and pulls you in when you least expect it. With a combination of marinading ourselves in God’s love, prayer, and praise, fear will take a backseat. However, Satan isn’t going to want to let us go without a fight. He is always on the move. Therefore, we have to constantly stay armored up. For when fear is conquered in one area, he is sure to attack us in the next.

fear, perfect love, psychology, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, spiritual attack
Photo by Matthew Henry

Fear

Fear.

Sneaks upon from nowhere.

Fear.

Latches on you if you dare.

Fear.

Masquerading as your friend.

Fear.

Only torments in the end.

But,

Just Remember to look above.

At,

Our Dear Father’s Perfect love.

Why?

In his love, there is no fear.

Yes,

Abba, Father, He is Near.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

Episode 49: The Anchor

the anchor, disappointment, discouragement, hope, depression, car accident, resolution, thriving, living, trouble, storms, reality, challenges, car accidents, katina horton, valley of grace, podcaster, lifestyle, podcaster lifestyle ,blogger, writer, podcasting,

Episode 49: The Anchor
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...

 
 
00:00 / 00:19:16
 
1X
 

Podcast Show Notes

The Anchor Podcast Outline:

  • Storms and Disappointment
  • When Discouragement Sets In
  • My November Accident
  • My Recent Accident
  • Shifting Our Focus
the anchor, disappointment, discouragement, hope, depression, car accident, resolution, thriving, living, trouble, storms, reality, challenges, car accidents, katina horton, valley of grace, podcaster, lifestyle, podcaster lifestyle ,blogger, writer, podcasting,
Photo by Alexandra Lee

Reflection Questions

What does the word anchor mean to you?

Have you ever had to use an anchor, and if so, for what purpose?

What is the first thing that you do when a storm enters your life?

What emotions do you feel when disappointment sets in?

Have you ever wrestled with the reality of things not happening at the best time?

What resolution can you make when the storms of life seem overwhelming and never-ending?

How can shifting your focus to the anchor change everything?

Episode 47: Enough for Everybody or The Scarcity Mindset

birds, enough, scarcity, abundance, God is sovereign, God is in control, stewardship, ownership, Psalm 24:1, katina horton, valley of grace, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health,

Episode 47: Enough for Everybody or The Scarcity Mindset
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...

 
 
00:00 / 00:13:31
 
1X
 

Enough for Everybody Podcast Outline

  • Two Bird Observations
  • What Can We Learn from the Birds
birds, enough, scarcity, abundance, God is sovereign, God is in control, stewardship, ownership, Psalm 24:1, katina horton, valley of grace, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health,
Photo by Mukesh Mishra

Show Notes

Enough for Everybody

About a year ago, I was looking out of the kitchen window, and I thought that what I was witnessing was a bird fight.  Instead of it being a fight, it was more like bullying.  Bullying among two birds.  One robin decided that he wanted the other robin to leave the grass. (Granted there was more than enough room for both of them.) The second robin (victim) tried to stay there. 

However, the first robin (bully), continued to peck him.  The second robin went over to the bird bath to relax there.  And what do you know?  Mr. Bully came over there and pecked him until he left that area.  Eventually the second robin flew into the happy face tree (someone literally drew a happy face on the tree itself) and stayed there for a while.  This made the bully very happy.

 Reflection on Enough

In the spring, I saw several birds in the backyard after it rained.  No one had the bullying and victim title.  They were all scavenging for food after it rained.  They knew that there was more than enough to go around.

God revealed something to me in that very moment.  Sometimes we are like the two birds from a year ago.  We feel that we are not satisfied until we are the only star.  We feel that there will not be enough of God’s grace, goodness, and mercy to go around.  We think we have to fight in order to get the blessings, or there won’t be enough.

Other times, we are like the birds from the spring, realizing that there is more than enough, God is the one who owns it all, and is running it all. 

The earth is the Lord‘s, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. (Psalms 24:1, KJV)

Even with whatever talent it is that he has blessed us with, he has to tell the door to open and to close.  Some of us will be blessed with a lot, and some of us will be blessed with little.  However, when we realize that there is more than enough for everybody, then we can look to God, rather than other people to receive the blessing.

“O my people, listen as I speak.
    Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
    I am God, your God!
 I have no complaint about your sacrifices
    or the burnt offerings you constantly offer.

But I do not need the bulls from your barns
    or the goats from your pens.
 For all the animals of the forest are mine,
    and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.

I know every bird on the mountains,
    and all the animals of the field are mine.
 If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
    for all the world is mine and everything in it.

Do I eat the meat of bulls?
    Do I drink the blood of goats?
 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory.” (Psalms 50:7-15, NLT)

Dear God,

We thank you for the gifts that you have blessed us with.  We pray that you will help us to realize that we don’t have to worry about being threatened by anyone else, because you have blessed all of us with different gifts/talents that are unique to us.  Please help us not to compete, but to work together for your glory.

In your name we pray,

Amen.