Episode 43: The Big “D” Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Have you ever been divorced? Do you know of someone who has been divorced? When you found out that this person was divorced, did you treat them differently? Today’s podcast is entitled, “The Big “D”, and that “D” stands for divorce. Click above to listen to the latest podcast episode.
It has been said that divorce is worse than death. There was a time when the word divorce was taboo. Older television shows reflect these ideas. When children mentioned that their friends’ parents were getting divorced, they were shushed by their parents, and/or the parents came up with an excuse as to why Johnny or Susan couldn’t play at the neighbors’ house anymore. They were outcasts.
Prior to getting divorced, I heard
someone use the phrases “It’s no big deal.
People get divorced every day.”
This is true. However, what is
also true is that you don’t have people lined up to tell you the real impact
from divorce. Divorce leaves lifelong
effects in every area: financially,
emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. Basically, there is no table left
Grief experienced from divorce can be
draining. With this pain, you must
grieve the loss of the marriage, the loss of the family as a unit, and then
grieve that part of your identity that is being taken away. There is no magic formula for the intensity
of the pain or the amount of time that it will take to heal. My grief so far tends to run in spurts. The grief might be off and on all day for
three weeks, and then there is a month break before it starts up again. I have had other women tell me that theirs
was every day for two hours for the length of anywhere from two to five years.
There are some individuals who have
gotten divorced because of severe abuse that has gone on for years. In Malachi 2:16, we are told, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for
one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye
deal not treacherously.” (NASB)
It is possible for God to heal marriages from
any situation, even the ones listed above.
However, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that one person can
fix the whole marriage. As individuals,
we can only do our part. We cannot be
the Holy Spirit for others. I am a
planner. I like organizing, analyzing,
and figuring things out. I thought that
if I could just do A, B, and C, things would be fine. If things weren’t getting better, it was
because I hadn’t figured out the right formula yet. Satan led me to believe that I was responsible
for the entire relationship.
He led me down the path of
dishonoring God, and disrespecting myself and children “all in the name of
love”. The best thing that we can do is
pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment, and then in turn get professional
help for ourselves. It is easy to pass
judgment upon others who are considering divorce. However, the truth is, only the individuals
involved in the marriage are aware of the severity of the situation. I stayed in a toxic situation for twenty
years. Thank God for Him getting a hold
of my heart and mind. We can pray the
same thing for others whom we know of that are walking in this path.
We thank you for your word to go to
when we are unsure, and don’t know where to turn. Please help us to help others by sending them
to your word and prayer when it comes to decisions about divorce. We also pray that we would not pass judgment
upon others when they are going through divorce because we don’t know the whole
story. Only you do.
Episode 38: Grace and Truth Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Would you consider yourself a person of grace and truth, or a person of just truth? What is the difference? Find out by listening to today’s podcast to see what happens when we have one without the other. Remember to catch up on last week’s episode here first.
Relationships are hard. It doesn’t matter whether it’s family,
friends, or coworkers, it can be challenging. One thing about relationships is that they
require time, energy, grace, and love.
When disagreements arise, and they will, we can be so intent on wanting
to be right, that we can damage the relationship even more.
God tells us in his word: “And
you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32,
NLT) We shouldn’t be foolish, and pretend that the truth doesn’t matter. When
we ignore the truth, we train our minds and bodies to slowly downplay the cues
they tell us that signify something is wrong.
Only applying the truth can also bring in legalism. Because God gives us grace, we are able to
extend grace to others. Only applying
grace without truth and boundaries leads to being taken advantage of, an out of
control situation, and the other person constantly pressing the envelope to see
how far they can go. “Then we will no
longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind
of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will
in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.” (Ephesians
individuals in my own life who have hurt me dearly. I cannot ignore the revelation of truth that
healing has brought me. At the same
time, if I focused only on the truth of these situations, it would make my
heart bitter. The truth is, we are all
broken individuals, and since we are all broken individuals, we all have sin in
our lives. If it weren’t for God’s mercy
in eliminating certain people and things from my life, I could very well have
gone down that path. Offering grace and
truth to people doesn’t mean restoration of the relationship. It could mean grieving what is no longer
there, acceptance, and the ability to move on.
We thank you
for the relationships that you have blessed us with. We pray that you would give us discernment
when it comes to applying grace and truth in difficult situations. Please help us to understand that we are all
broken individuals in need of a Savior.
state that it takes one “bad” person to ruin five good people.
Remember the figure of speech that you were lectured on as a kid when it came
time to picking your friends: “One bad apple ruins the whole bunch.”
We got tired of hearing our parents and other adults say it, but what they were
saying was basically synonymous with Galatians 5:9: “A little leaven leaveneth
the whole lump.” (KJV) Whether we are kids or adults, we must be
careful of the company that we keep.
we hang out with our friends, coworkers, family members, etc, it just becomes
natural to start saying some of the things that they say. This is what happens
when we are in relationship with anyone. Just as when we are reading God’s
Word, and in relationship with him, our thoughts and behaviors will reflect
However, if you are like me, where everything
that is heard on tv, radio, and by mouth is internalized and leaks into your
emotional, mental, and spiritual space, then you’ll find that you must be extra
careful. Why? When we least expect it, words that are not our own start
entering our mind.
And if we’re not careful, they are coming out
of our mouths. I have found myself rebuking Satan many a day when this happens.
I will never forget when one of my friends said that
she told her son to be careful with what he
allows to come in from other people, because 1) it will go into our minds, 2)
it will go into our hearts, and 3) it will come out of our mouths.
Thank you for
giving us the gift of relationship. Please help us in using discernment in these
relationships, as well as being self-aware of how we operate, so that we don’t
fall prey to the devil.
Episode 35: The Value of Prayer Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
00:00 / 00:12:58
In case you missed our last episode on surrendering, you can find it here. Today’s episode is Episode 35: The Value of Prayer. What are some of the things that you value in life? Why do you value them? Have you ever thought about prayer having value? Tune in to our latest episode to find out why prayer should be at the top of our list.
The Value of Prayer Podcast Outline
Necessity of Prayer
Examples of Prayer
Praying for Our Children
The Act of Praying Over Food
We Can Pray Alone
Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness. Today’s episode is entitled, “The Value of Prayer”.
Prayer is necessary in developing our
relationship with God. Sometimes the
hardest part about doing anything, including prayer is getting started. Satan fills our hearts with so many excuses
as to why we aren’t doing something, when the bottom line is that once we are
willing to start, God can give us the desire, strength, and perseverance to
finish: “For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work
in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 1:6, BSB) Jesus’
prayer life was a perfect example of the who, what, when, where and how’s of
Luke gives us an account of the impact placed
on one of Jesus’ disciples from watching him pray, and witnessing John teaching
his disciples. He wanted in on this
action: “Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he
finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John
taught his disciples. And he said to
them, “When you pray, say: “Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come.
“(Luke 11:1-2, ESV) When we pray with earnest hearts and conviction, it rubs
off on other people, and they want what we have.
us how to pray for our children: “Then people brought little
children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.
But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus
said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for
the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.” (Matthew
When our children are
little, there are so many ways that we can pray for and with them. We can place them on our laps and pray for
them, and as they get older, we can pray for them even as they are sleeping. Sometimes I have found myself praying with my
kids before they leave out the door on the way to school, or as we are
literally pulling out of the driveway to begin our day. There is no better example of showing that
there are no restrictions when telling our children about God, his goodness,
and his Word than in Deuteronomy 11: 19-21:
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when
you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when
you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and
on your gates, that your days and the days of your
children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like
the days of the heavens above the earth.”(NKJV)
us how to pray over and give thanks for our food. He showed us that even though he was the one
distributing the food, the fact that he had it to give himself was God’s
grace: “After he said
this, he took some bread and gave thanks to God in front of them all. Then he
broke it and began to eat.” (Acts 27:35, NIV)
The two fish and
five loaves of bread multiplied after he said the blessing. This was a pure reenactment of the story of
Elijah and the widow at Zarephath. Jesus
showed us the results of what the power of praying and trusting in God with the
little we have can do: “And he directed the people
to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking
up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to
the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They
all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of
broken pieces that were left over. The
number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. (Matthew 14: 19-21, NIV)
Jesus showed us the importance and power of praying
with others. Luke 9:28 tells us, “About eight days after Jesus said this, he took
Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray.”(NIV) There
is something about experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirt as we pray with
Jesus also showed us the
importance of praying alone: “After
dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When
evening came, He was there alone.”
(Matthew 14: 23, Holman) In order to avoid suffering burnout and
spiritual emptiness, there is a need for us to pour into ourselves before we
can pour into others. Once we are filled
up, we are ready to go out and serve.
We thank you for your grace and
power of prayer. Please help us to
remember that prayer reaches the doors of heaven, and changes things. We also ask that you would help us to get
into the habit of developing a routine for prayer, whether it is by ourselves
or with others.
In your name we pray,
Thank you for visiting Healing Our Brokenness, and if this episode has blessed you in any way, please tag a friend on Social Media, share it, review it on Itunes, and pray for the show as well.
In case you missed last week’s episode, “Episode 33: Praying During Desperate Times”, you can find that episode here. Today’s episode, “Episode 34: Surrender”, is covering the topic of surrender.
Episode 34: Surrender Podcast Outline
What is surrender?
What does surrender look like?
How I Am Learning to Surrender
When you think of surrender, you think of yielding, giving up control, crying “Uncle”, giving in, waving the flag. Surrender has a negative connotation, but it can have a positive outcome when it’s done in the proper context.
If we had the choice, there are some trials that we just wouldn’t sign up for. However, God gives us these trials in order to refine us like gold. These trials will show that our faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold: So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (1 Peter 1:7, NLT)
One of the worst
things that we can do is to think that we have it all under control. The devil tricks us into thinking that we can
fix problems on our own, and that we just have to figure out the right plan, or
perhaps we just didn’t do something “enough”. A very tender spot for any
mother’s heart is their children. Oh,
how I wish that I could take away the pain and effects from trauma that my kids
have endured over the last five years.
However, this isn’t possible. No matter how old they are, our kids’ issues
stay on our hearts. However, if we don’t
surrender these very issues to God, then we find ourselves emotionally,
mentally, and spiritually drained. Of
course, because of the mind-body connection, these issues then takes a turn on
the fourth area: physical. They can
literally eat us alive with immobility and heaviness of heart. I have just recently had my moment of
realizing that my kids will have to have their own journey of healing. I can support them. However, I can’t take on the responsibility
of doing the work for them. It hinders
them from growth, and the ability to get clarity on their own.
Surrender is not
a once in a lifetime thing. If only it
was that easy. It is daily. In Luke 9: 23, Christ tells us: “If anyone would come
after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and
follow me. (ESV) Focusing on God
and his promises helps us in this journey called life.
Thank you for the
shining beauty that comes from our trials when we are refined. Thank you that we can take all of our burdens
and our kids’ burdens and lay them down at your feet. Please help us to understand that surrender
is a daily thing, and that we have to put our trust in you.
Episode 29: The Power of God Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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The Power of God Podcast Outline:
Dissection of Relationships and Our Brokenness
My Witness to the Power of God
Saul’s Witness to the Power of God
Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness Episode 29: The Power of God. Have you ever seen the Power of God in your life? Well, today I am going to give two examples of his power at work. First of all, let’s do some a little dissection.
Dissection of Relationships and Our Brokenness
Whether we are at church, work, or in our neighborhoods, it is important to cultivate relationships with people. Sometimes, in the process of doing this, people become jealous, or they turn on us for no reason. If there is a reason, it is one that doesn’t make sense to us.
However, since we are all broken, we all do things that are characteristic of our sin nature. In a few of these instances, there are times when the people who turn on us are toxic, and the best thing to do is to setup boundaries. In many cases, this may involve little to no contact at all. Prayer from a distance is the best way to go.
My Witness to the Power of God
When I was going through my divorce, my ex-husband’s behavior got so out of control and toxic, that I had to setup a boundary that he could not come back to our marital residence to visit the kids for some months. They could walk out to the car to go with him.
However, that was the extent of it. What led to this decision? His behavior was so out of control during one particular visit, that it cut through my soul and crushed my spirit. It was also during this time that my grandmother was dying in the hospital. I ended up having an emotional breakdown of sorts and was hanging on by a thread.
All correspondence was done via email for a while. What I didn’t find out until later from my son, is that he had decided he was going to come in anyway. However, as the Lord would have it, the first time that he attempted this, his car broke down. Every time that he decided that he wouldn’t follow the paperwork from the court for his financial obligations, his car would break down. My friend joked with me and said that she would never cross me. I said, ” Why?” Her response was that once I started praying things happened.
Saul’s Witness to the Power of God
Saul became jealous of David because the women sang songs about how David had slain ten thousands and Saul had slain thousands. Saul’s anger got so out of control, that he decided that he would kill David. He sent his messengers ahead of him to find out his exact location.
As God would have it, his messengers ended up prophesying. They entered the place where Samuel and his prophets were praying and prophesying, and God caused this to happen to them. Saul sent messengers out two more times. The same thing happened. Finally, he went himself, and God caused him to be filled with the prophesying spirit. This was done long enough for David to escape.
When David had fled and made his escape, he went to Samuel at Ramah and told him all that Saul had done to him. Then he and Samuel went to Naioth and stayed there. Word came to Saul: “David is in Naioth at Ramah”; so he sent men to capture him. But when they saw a group of prophets prophesying, with Samuel standing there as their leader, the Spirit of God came on Saul’s men, and they also prophesied. Saul was told about it, and he sent more men, and they prophesied too. Saul sent men a third time, and they also prophesied. Finally, he himself left for Ramah and went to the great cistern at Seku. And he asked, “Where are Samuel and David?”
“Over in Naioth at Ramah,” they said. So Saul went to Naioth at Ramah. But the Spirit of God came even on him, and he walked along prophesying until he came to Naioth. He stripped off his garments, and he too prophesied in Samuel’s presence. He lay naked all that day and all that night. This is why people say, “Is Saul also among the prophets?”
Talk about the power of God moving! When we do the praying, God does the acting.
We thank you for your grace. Thank you for having our backs when we are literally up against the wall from our enemies. Please help us to remember to set boundaries and pray when we are surrounded by toxic people.
In case you missed our last episode, “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 2”, you can find that episode here. Today’s episode, Episode 27, is entitled Simply Grace. I hope that you enjoy this special poetry reading.
Simply Grace Podcast Outline:
Dissection of Topics and Reading of Poetry
Welcome to the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Episode 27:
Simply Grace. The intro and ending song
that you hear on the podcast is entitled “Valley of Grace” and is song by
Timothy Horton. Today is a special episode. Why is that?
I will be ready poetry from a book that I published back in February
entitled, “Simply Grace”. It is
available on Amazon. Simply Grace is a
compilation of simple, healthy recipes that are mostly non-meat, along with
poetry that tackles tough issues that we face every day. However, these issues are seasoned with
grace. I deal with truth, so that the truth
brings healing. We are set free by
true. I also deal with raw emotions.
The first poem, entitled “The Quench” deals with Approval
Reading of the poem
The next poem, entitled “The Source of Self-Worth” dissects
our need for self-worth, and not just the need, but the struggle to get it from
things, rather than the main source.
Reading of the poem
The next poem, entitled” Coat of Favor” deals with the Life
of Joseph, his trials, and his redemption.
Reading of the Poem
Have you ever taken matters into your own hands, instead of
waiting on God? The next poem deals with
just that. It is entitled, “Oh, The Pain
Reading of the Poem
For those of us who have been through abuse, we must relearn
what love is. That is what” Abide My
Love, Dance with Me” is all about: God’s love poured out on me to reshape my
thoughts on abuse. Secondly, it describes
how I danced with my Heavenly Father during a period of trials and financial despair,
and how God “showed me his back” as his showed Moses, so to speak, by allowing
me to feel his presence for several hours.
Reading of the Poem
The last poem, “I am the Vine, And So Is It Time?” deals with
a combination of things: the Crucifixion
of Jesus on the Cross, John 15, and the Clematis vine that I attempted to tie
to the trellis last spring as I was getting bit by mosquitos. The first time that I attempted this adventure,
there were too many mosquitos out. The second and final time I was finally able
to do it. However, just within the few
days of break in between, the clematis vine had completely wrapped itself around
one of the heucheras. It was a wonderful
way to see the scriptures in action.
Reading of the Poem
Thank you for listening to Episode 27: Simply Grace, and if
you are enjoying the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast, please recommend a friend,
share on social media, and/or subscribe to hear us on Youtube, Itunes, Google
Play, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can
also listen to us on the blog.
Episode 20: Just a Little White Lie Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
00:00 / 00:21:54
If you missed the last episode, you can grab it here. Today’s episode deals with something that we have all found ourselves doing. Click and take a listen!
Episode 20: Just a Little White Lie Podcast Outline
What are we lying about?
Two Stories of Biblical Lying
Welcome to Valley of Grace’s Healing Our Brokenness. Today I am featuring “Episode 20: Just A
Little White Lie”. Lying is something
that we have all done. When we lie, and
someone calls us out on it, our response is usually, “Oh it’s just a little
white lie. Everybody lies.”
So, what are some of the things that we are lying
about? Sometimes when we lie, it is to
spare hurting someone’s feelings. Other
times we lie to make ourselves look good, or as if we “have it altogether”,
when we don’t. When we enter the church
doors on Sunday morning, and we are greeting other Sisters and Brothers in
Christ, and they ask about our status, we are afraid to tell them “Okay” or
“Not too Good at the Present moment”, or “I’m going through trials at the present
moment, but I know that God is good.”
Forbid if we get real. No, we
have to say, “Really Good” or “Good”. Or
better yet, “ Fine.”
The last one was one of my favorites until I saw how jacked up that made me feel afterwards. If I was not fine at the time, and I tried to outwardly act like I was happy go lucky, my emotional and mental state knew that something wasn’t matching up. It would actually cause me to experience the trauma symptom of having dysregulated emotions and depression. Go figure.
A few months after I started noticing that was happening, I read a psychology article stating that it makes your emotions harder to control when you do this. Not that we should wallow in self-pity or anything, but when you think about it, we are one way, and trying to signal our emotions and body to do a quick 360 degree turnaround and be okay. The answer is “No” to that one.
r emotions and body to do a quick 360 degree turnaround and be okay. The answer is “No” to that one.
What else are we lying about?
We lie about our jobs, the kind of cars that we drive, our marital
status, and whether we were at home when someone tried to reach us.
When we’re at work, and the ladies or men are in a huddle
talking about their kids and their extracurricular activities, material
possessions, or their socioeconomic statuses, we lie about ours.
When we are in our church small groups, we lie about our
woundedness for fear that everybody else will have lighter sins and issues than
us. We don’t want to look “too broken”. We have to look as close to Jesus “perfect” as
possible. When we lie and head to the
perfection side of things, we actually cause someone else to miss their
opportunity to know that they are not alone.
Not only that, we quench the Holy Spirit , and miss out on our blessing.
No matter where we are, we find ourselves lying about our
intentions to others. We come to them,
telling them one thing. However, our
agenda is another. In a lot of cases, the
person that we are lying to is totally unaware of what is going on. One thing about being actively in the pursuit
of lying, there is always someone who witnesses what’s going on. And if there isn’t what the other person
doesn’t know, God knows. And such is the
situation that occurred with David.
David was on the run from Saul. He was without food and weaponry. He went to Ahimelek the priest and lied to
him about his intentions.
David at Nob
21 David went to Nob, to
Ahimelek the priest. Ahimelek trembled when he met him, and asked, “Why are you
alone? Why is no one with you?”
2 David answered Ahimelek the
priest, “The king sent me on a mission and said to me, ‘No one is to know
anything about the mission I am sending you on.’ As for my men, I have told
them to meet me at a certain place. 3 Now then,
what do you have on hand? Give me five loaves of bread, or whatever you can
4 But the priest answered David, “I
don’t have any ordinary bread on hand; however, there is some
consecrated bread here—provided the men have kept themselves from
5 David replied, “Indeed women have
been kept from us, as usual whenever I set out. The men’s bodies are
holy even on missions that are not holy. How much more so today!” 6 So
the priest gave him the consecrated bread, since there was no bread there
except the bread of the Presence that had been removed from before the Lord and replaced by hot bread on
the day it was taken away.
7 Now one of Saul’s servants was
there that day, detained before the Lord;
he was Doeg the Edomite, Saul’s chief shepherd.
8 David asked Ahimelek, “Don’t you
have a spear or a sword here? I haven’t brought my sword or any other weapon,
because the king’s mission was urgent.”
9 The priest replied, “The
sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom you killed in the Valley of
Elah, is here; it is wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you want it,
take it; there is no sword here but that one.”
David said, “There is none
like it; give it to me.”
David made the assumption
that lying to Ahimelek would prevent Ahimelek from getting in the crossfire of
Saul’s hunt for David’s life. What David
didn’t anticipate was the fact that Saul’s right-hand man, Doeg, the Edomite, would
be hanging around Nob, witnessing the whole transaction that occurred between
him and Ahimelek. Therefore, Doeg was
going to give Saul the report according to his perception of what he saw.
David underestimated the
demonic forces that he was dealing with.
If Saul was willing to kill his own son, what would he do to someone who
wasn’t? So, what ended up happening?
Just as we are thinking, Doeg tricked on David. Basically, he said something like this, “Saul,
guess who I saw over in Nob, getting Ahimelek’s blessing?”
6 Now Saul heard that David and his men had been discovered. And
Saul was seated, spear in hand, under the tamarisk tree on the hill
at Gibeah, with all his officials standing at his side. 7 He said to them,
“Listen, men of Benjamin! Will the son of Jesse give all of you fields and
vineyards? Will he make all of you commanders of thousands and commanders
of hundreds? 8 Is that why
you have all conspired against me? No one tells me when my son makes a
covenant with the son of Jesse. None of you is concerned about
me or tells me that my son has incited my servant to lie in wait for me, as he
9 But Doeg the Edomite, who was standing with Saul’s officials,
said, “I saw the son of Jesse come to Ahimelek son of Ahitub at Nob. 10 Ahimelek
inquired of the Lord for him; he also gave him
provisions and the swordof Goliath the Philistine.”
11 Then the king sent for the priest Ahimelek son of Ahitub and all
the men of his family, who were the priests at Nob, and they all came to the
king. 12 Saul
said, “Listen now, son of Ahitub.”
my lord,” he answered.
13 Saul said to him, “Why have you conspired against me, you and
the son of Jesse, giving him bread and a sword and inquiring of God for him, so
that he has rebelled against me and lies in wait for me, as he does today?”
14 Ahimelek answered the king, “Who of all your servants is as
loyal as David, the king’s son-in-law, captain of your bodyguard and highly
respected in your household? 15 Was that day the first time I inquired of
God for him? Of course not! Let not the king accuse your servant or any of his
father’s family, for your servant knows nothing at all about this whole
16 But the king said, “You will surely die, Ahimelek, you and your
17 Then the king ordered the guards at his side: “Turn and kill the
priests of the Lord, because they too have sided with David. They knew he was
fleeing, yet they did not tell me.”
the king’s officials were unwilling to raise a hand to strike the priests
of the Lord.
18 The king then ordered Doeg, “You turn and strike down the
priests.”So Doeg the Edomite turned and struck them down. That day he killed
eighty-five men who wore the linen ephod. 19 He also put to the swordNob, the town
of the priests, with its men and women, its children and infants, and its
cattle, donkeys and sheep.
20 But one son of Ahimelek son of Ahitub, named
Abiathar, escaped and fled to join David. 21 He told David
that Saul had killed the priests of the Lord. 22 Then David said to Abiathar, “That day,
when Doeg the Edomite was there, I knew he would be sure to tell Saul. I
am responsible for the death of your whole family. 23 Stay with me; don’t be afraid. The man who
wants to kill you is trying to kill me too. You will be safe with me.”
David’s lying caused Ahimilek, and all of his household, except for one, and all the other priests of Nob to be killed.
The last thing that I want
to talk about are the lies we tell about our stewardship. When we find out others are giving more money
than we are, we tend to lie about how much we are giving. When it comes to lying about stewardship, we
are lying to God, not men.
If we were able to, we would go back in time and ask Ananias and
Sapphira about this. The Christians over
in the book of Acts were on fire after being filled with the Holy Ghost. They operated on “one accord” at the time. If there were any brethren in need, they
would sell their additional land, and then offer it up to the disciples. No one was without. Ananias and Sapphira sold some of their land.
Their desire was to keep back of the money for themselves. They could have expressed this to the
disciples, but they didn’t. Selling your
land was an act of the heart and will.
It wasn’t a force situation.
The thing is, they wanted to appear super generous like everyone
else. Unfortunately, their lies caught
up with them, and then cost both of them their lives:
a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of
property. 2 With
his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but
brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet.
3 Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled
your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for
yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4 Didn’t it belong
to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal?
What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human
beings but to God.”
5 When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great
fear seized all who heard what had happened. 6 Then some young
men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him.
7 About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had
happened. 8 Peter
asked her, “Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?”
she said, “that is the price.”
9 Peter said to her, “How could you conspire to test the Spirit of
the Lord? Listen! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door,
and they will carry you out also.”
10 At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the
young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside
her husband. 11 Great
fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.
And so, the question that I will leave you with is this, “What
“little white lie” are we telling that could heap disastrous results?
Thank you for listening to another episode of Healing Our Brokenness.
Anxiety is something that we will all face in life. The causes of anxiety and the solutions for dealing with this common problem will vary from person to person. Listen in to Episode 19 as I discuss this topic.
Episode 19: Podcast Outline
Trying to be Sovereign Anxiety
David on Anxiety
Solutions for Anxiety
Good morning! Welcome to Valley of Grace’s Healing Our Brokenness podcast. Today, you are listening to Episode 19: Anxiety!
Picture this scene: I was in 7th grade, and at the time, I enjoyed competing in oratorical contests for fun. However, because my mother was a single parent, and had to work, she was never able to come to see me compete. I should have been grateful that she was working. However, I got caught up on her being there. She finally decided to come. However, she forgot to forewarn me. I was on the stage, and she waved to show me that she was there, and my mind went blank after the first two lines. I could hear my words trembling, and feel my whole body shaking intensely. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but my lack of preparedness for her coming totally threw me for a loop.
When we hear the word anxiety, all kinds of thoughts come to mind. Anxiety is normal in certain cases. For example, recently I was waiting for the test results from a mammogram, and as I was listening to the person on the phone, I became anxious as I proposed what her words would be and how I would react to them. Anxiety can sneak upon us as we get ready to take a quiz, and it can cause us to forget everything that we were going to say.
Anxiety can be debilitating. This type can often be hereditary and would fall under the column of anxiety disorder. That means that if our grandparents and parents have suffered from anxiety disorder, then it is a high chance that we could be dealing with the same issue. When we suffer from this kind of anxiety, it is something that we had no control over.
Trying to be Sovereign Anxiety
There is, however, another kind of anxiety that I am going to discuss. This type of anxiety is from the things that we place on ourselves. Examples of this is trying to fix problems that we don’t have control over. We try to control our adult children and the mistakes that they make in their lives. There is a desire to control whether or not people will accept or reject our uniqueness.
We try to control whether the job that we have had for over 15 years will be the job that we retire from. Do you control the discipline that God gives to a family or friend in regard to their sin, and in the process, we began to enable the individual? When we try so hard to control, it only makes us more out of control. This eagerness to control creates an addiction within itself. This is what the devil doesn’t tell us. We don’t know until it’s too late.
Another type of anxiety that we place on ourselves is that
of making changes for the sake of coming out of vicious cycles. For example:
Stacy notices that she has an anxiety attack every morning in regard to
getting out the door and getting to work.
Reasoning: Every morning Stacy
stays in bed until 30 minutes before it’s time to leave to go to work. She has to rush to put makeup on, get her
breakfast, and pack her lunch. Stacy
knows what is behind this problem, but she fails to make the changes. Stacy is self-sabotaging.
Scheduling is another type of self-inflicted anxiety. This is the area that I am guilty of, and starting to make progress in. We pile as much as we can into a given day. The more things we keep adding to that list, the more things will be added to our list of anxiety about. The first thing that we don’t consider is exactly how long it will take to get each thing done. There are only so many hours in the day.
If we work outside the home, those hours are shortened. Unless we are God, there is no way that we can get all those things done, but we try. Sometimes it is possible to get those things done, but we have used this time up on social media, or doing a little bit too much relaxing, only to start the vicious cycle all about again.
The last type of anxiety that I would like to discuss is that of trauma-induced anxiety. Unfortunately, this kind is one that I am very familiar with. One kind of trauma anxiety is created from having to be in hypervigilant mode all the time. The other part of trauma anxiety that I have noticed for myself is that I might have a flashback or a trigger of something.
Then, what happens is that my mind may start to think about the details and feelings that this event caused. I push the thought away, thinking that maybe it is unimportant, only to realize later when it resurfaces, and continues to occupy my emotional and mental space, that it is something that I need to deal with. However, since trauma wants to be in control, it will cause you to start self-protecting, and then rationalizing why you shouldn’t talk about this thing.
You think you’ve somehow outsmarted trauma, but it outsmarts you because when this event keeps coming up, it usually causes anxiety to go from 0 to 1000 in your body, while the flashbacks are occurring, and what you don’t realize is that avoidance of discussion of this event is keeping the physical energy in your body, and delaying the healing at the same time.
I learned this the hard way when I tried avoiding talking about seeing my father abuse my mother in our apartment as a kid. I kept delaying and delaying, scratching off on my therapy notes, and saying, “Nope, not this week!” Weeks turned into months, and then finally when I couldn’t take it any longer and started feeling the impulse of swinging and punching at its peak, I did the best thing that I could do. I talked about it with my therapist. It got worse before it got better.
Now, when those feelings come up, I pretend like I am
kickboxing in order to release the energy from my body. Before discussing this event with my
therapist, I would zone into worship music to calm the impulses. What I didn’t realize is that the energy
needs to leave your body.
We ask God to help us with all kinds of things. However, we forget to ask him to help us with
anxiety, and to get to the root. In
Psalms 139 David reminds us about how God knows everything. We can’t hide anything from him. His presence follows us.
139 O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me. 2
You know when I sit down and when I rise up [my entire life, everything I do];
You understand my thought from afar. 3
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And You are intimately acquainted with all my ways. 4
Even before there is a word on my tongue [still unspoken],
Behold, O Lord, You know it
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And [You have] placed Your hand upon me. 6
Such [infinite] knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high [above me], I cannot reach it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead), behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will take hold of me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will cover me, And the night will be the only light around me,” 12 Even the darkness is not dark to You and conceals nothing from You, But the night shines as bright as the day; Darkness and light are alike to You.
For You formed my innermost parts;
You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb. 14
I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well. 15
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was being formed in secret,
And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with
many colors] in the depths of the earth. 16
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were appointed for me,
When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape].
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them! 18
If I could count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.
19 [a]O that You would
kill the wicked, O God;
Go away from me, therefore, men of bloodshed. 20
For they speak against You wickedly,
Your enemies take Your name in vain. 21
Do I not hate those who hate You, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? 22
I hate them with perfect and utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.
Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts; 24
And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
What are some helpful ways to reduce anxiety?
Taking a deep breath in and out
Meditating on worship music
Sometimes medicine, along with everything lifted above.
I pray that you have heard something here today that has