There are times in life when we don’t know which way to go. During these times, if we seek the Lord, then our mission, our purpose, and his will becomes clearer. Of course, it also means that we have to still do our part. Our part involves intentionality, setting goals, and aligning our will with his. We also need wisdom discerning in whom we should confide God’s great revelation.
Episode 45: Be Still: The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Be Still Podcast Outline
Definition of Still
Definition of Know
Dissection of Psalm 46: 10
What Happens With the Combo of Trauma and Constant Busyness
Good afternoon! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness, episode 45,
Entitled, “Be Still:” The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma on a Daily Basis”
What does it mean to be still?
Being still means without movement, without speech, calm,
I like to think of stillness as the act of eliminating busyness
In Psalm 46: 10, God tells us, “Be still and know that I am
To know means to be aware of through information and observation. For us to know something or someone, we must
spend time with that person or learning about that topic. If we want to know
God, we must quiet our spirits, stop the striving, distractions, busyness, and
do what is required to be in a relationship with him. If we want to heal from
trauma, we also need a stillness to exist.
This stillness required from healing that helps us to know
about our mind and body connection, can only happen when we purposefully have 2
things: time and space.
When we are busy every minute of the day, we don’t have time
to know our bodies. Our bodies reveal the secrets behind our emotions. Just recently, and recently being about 3
months ago, I started working a full-time job. After a month, I realized that I
needed to tweak my schedule for the weekend. I had to block out 3 hours on my weekend
mornings in order to make sure that I could continue having my time of
stillness. Without stillness, it is hard to gain clarity.
Before working full time, I had more time and space for this
stillness to occur. Now, since my schedule has changed, i must be more
intentional about giving myself margin.
Right before starting work with this job, I had a traumatic
event to occur. Along with learning new things at work, and relearning how to
drive after 30 years, I was exhibiting “ADHD-like” trauma symptoms, and having
a hard time focusing. I knew that it was
only a matter of time till the emotional effects of this event would come out. My
system had to be relaxed enough with stillness, and time and space to go
through the steps of processing everything that had gone down.
The first symptom that was exhibited was that of nausea. I
knew immediately that this was grief. And how was I able to tell that? Four
years ago, when I was living at my previous residence , I became very nauseated
one evening after eating. It was the
worst case ever. I thought that I was
coming down with the flu or some type of virus. It was also during this time
that I had not begun to process any of the traumatic events that had occurred in
the previous 3 years. My system was on
emotional and mental overload.
All of a sudden, before I knew it, I ended up regurgitating 3
to 4 times. In between each time, I felt like I needed to cry very deeply. This
is how I was able to make the connection that nausea for me equals the need for
grief to be released from my body. At
the time, my son asked me about the contents of what I ate that could have made
me so sick. I told him that I realized that it had nothing to do with the food
that I ate.
When I told my therapist about what happened, she said, “Yes,
this was definitely physiological.”
Another symptom that occurred recently is where my lips started
to become numb. I knew immediately that
this represented anger that I needed to work through. Once again, if I did not have the time within
the last few years to process some of the trauma, I would not have had a clue of
what was going on. I probably would have
gotten myself all worked up and anxious, perpetuating the problem.
I was then able to go to God and ask him, “What is this
anger about? Is it just this traumatic event, or something else along with it?”.
Having my time of stillness, and space for reflection allowed me to get to the
root of the problem so that I could start healing from, it. That anger had been coming out sideways for about
2 1/2 weeks.
Music is one of my main go-to’s for enabling me to process
trauma , and so when I added more of this into my time and space, I gained even
more wisdom and discernment , along with being able to release the grief from
my system through crying heavily.
Changes are good. However,
changes are only fully embraced once the old has been grieved. All of the “would
haves”, “should haves”, and “not any more’s”. If you are having problems
healing from trauma, ask yourself if you are allowing yourself the time and
space of sitting in God’s stillness. The
pain, loneliness, and loss have to be grieved. I don’t want to mislead you. There
will be pain in this process. There’s no way to go around it. And I promise
you, if there was, everyone would be signing up for it. There is God’s grace,
mercy, and presence there. And it is
very much needed. It is also in this stillness that our mind, body, soul, and
spirit will begin to reveal the answers to our questions. It will help us to
lead the way and or continue our journey to a life of thriving.
First, try starting off with one hour of lying down without
any distractions and see if you can notice the difference of what this new
stillness brings. Initially, it will feel very uncomfortable because you will
want to quickly fill up your time with busyness. However, this quiet time will
begin to declutter your mind and allow you to get to the root of your issues, along
with the help a therapist.
I hope that “Episode 45: ‘Be Still: The Healing Aspect Of
Living With Trauma’” has been beneficial to you in some way. If Healing Our
Brokenness is making a difference in your life, please leave a review, tag a
friend, and give a shout out on social media. God bless! Have a wonderful week!
Background on Recovery: When you are recovering from PTSD/trauma, it requires a lot of in-depth work. This poem depicts just that. You have to regain your sense of self, learn to listen to your body for its story, and be still with patience as God does his work.
Episode 43: The Big “D” Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Have you ever been divorced? Do you know of someone who has been divorced? When you found out that this person was divorced, did you treat them differently? Today’s podcast is entitled, “The Big “D”, and that “D” stands for divorce. Click above to listen to the latest podcast episode.
It has been said that divorce is worse than death. There was a time when the word divorce was taboo. Older television shows reflect these ideas. When children mentioned that their friends’ parents were getting divorced, they were shushed by their parents, and/or the parents came up with an excuse as to why Johnny or Susan couldn’t play at the neighbors’ house anymore. They were outcasts.
Prior to getting divorced, I heard
someone use the phrases “It’s no big deal.
People get divorced every day.”
This is true. However, what is
also true is that you don’t have people lined up to tell you the real impact
from divorce. Divorce leaves lifelong
effects in every area: financially,
emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. Basically, there is no table left
Grief experienced from divorce can be
draining. With this pain, you must
grieve the loss of the marriage, the loss of the family as a unit, and then
grieve that part of your identity that is being taken away. There is no magic formula for the intensity
of the pain or the amount of time that it will take to heal. My grief so far tends to run in spurts. The grief might be off and on all day for
three weeks, and then there is a month break before it starts up again. I have had other women tell me that theirs
was every day for two hours for the length of anywhere from two to five years.
There are some individuals who have
gotten divorced because of severe abuse that has gone on for years. In Malachi 2:16, we are told, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for
one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye
deal not treacherously.” (NASB)
It is possible for God to heal marriages from
any situation, even the ones listed above.
However, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that one person can
fix the whole marriage. As individuals,
we can only do our part. We cannot be
the Holy Spirit for others. I am a
planner. I like organizing, analyzing,
and figuring things out. I thought that
if I could just do A, B, and C, things would be fine. If things weren’t getting better, it was
because I hadn’t figured out the right formula yet. Satan led me to believe that I was responsible
for the entire relationship.
He led me down the path of
dishonoring God, and disrespecting myself and children “all in the name of
love”. The best thing that we can do is
pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment, and then in turn get professional
help for ourselves. It is easy to pass
judgment upon others who are considering divorce. However, the truth is, only the individuals
involved in the marriage are aware of the severity of the situation. I stayed in a toxic situation for twenty
years. Thank God for Him getting a hold
of my heart and mind. We can pray the
same thing for others whom we know of that are walking in this path.
We thank you for your word to go to
when we are unsure, and don’t know where to turn. Please help us to help others by sending them
to your word and prayer when it comes to decisions about divorce. We also pray that we would not pass judgment
upon others when they are going through divorce because we don’t know the whole
story. Only you do.
Do you have family members that you have been estranged or separated from? Never underestimate the power of God to allow a reunion as God did with Joseph and his brothers. We can let God do the work as we pray for willing and open hearts. “Reunion” is the story of the reunion of Joseph and his brothers. God bless!
What do you think of when you think of God? Think about Hagar. When she was kicked out by Sarah, to fend for herself and her son, she called God, El Roi, The God who Sees. He saw her distress, and he provided for her and her son. Who is God to you? Ponder this as you read “El Roi”.
Episode 35: The Value of Prayer Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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In case you missed our last episode on surrendering, you can find it here. Today’s episode is Episode 35: The Value of Prayer. What are some of the things that you value in life? Why do you value them? Have you ever thought about prayer having value? Tune in to our latest episode to find out why prayer should be at the top of our list.
The Value of Prayer Podcast Outline
Necessity of Prayer
Examples of Prayer
Praying for Our Children
The Act of Praying Over Food
We Can Pray Alone
Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness. Today’s episode is entitled, “The Value of Prayer”.
Prayer is necessary in developing our
relationship with God. Sometimes the
hardest part about doing anything, including prayer is getting started. Satan fills our hearts with so many excuses
as to why we aren’t doing something, when the bottom line is that once we are
willing to start, God can give us the desire, strength, and perseverance to
finish: “For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work
in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 1:6, BSB) Jesus’
prayer life was a perfect example of the who, what, when, where and how’s of
Luke gives us an account of the impact placed
on one of Jesus’ disciples from watching him pray, and witnessing John teaching
his disciples. He wanted in on this
action: “Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he
finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John
taught his disciples. And he said to
them, “When you pray, say: “Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come.
“(Luke 11:1-2, ESV) When we pray with earnest hearts and conviction, it rubs
off on other people, and they want what we have.
us how to pray for our children: “Then people brought little
children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.
But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus
said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for
the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.” (Matthew
When our children are
little, there are so many ways that we can pray for and with them. We can place them on our laps and pray for
them, and as they get older, we can pray for them even as they are sleeping. Sometimes I have found myself praying with my
kids before they leave out the door on the way to school, or as we are
literally pulling out of the driveway to begin our day. There is no better example of showing that
there are no restrictions when telling our children about God, his goodness,
and his Word than in Deuteronomy 11: 19-21:
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when
you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when
you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and
on your gates, that your days and the days of your
children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like
the days of the heavens above the earth.”(NKJV)
us how to pray over and give thanks for our food. He showed us that even though he was the one
distributing the food, the fact that he had it to give himself was God’s
grace: “After he said
this, he took some bread and gave thanks to God in front of them all. Then he
broke it and began to eat.” (Acts 27:35, NIV)
The two fish and
five loaves of bread multiplied after he said the blessing. This was a pure reenactment of the story of
Elijah and the widow at Zarephath. Jesus
showed us the results of what the power of praying and trusting in God with the
little we have can do: “And he directed the people
to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking
up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to
the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They
all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of
broken pieces that were left over. The
number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. (Matthew 14: 19-21, NIV)
Jesus showed us the importance and power of praying
with others. Luke 9:28 tells us, “About eight days after Jesus said this, he took
Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray.”(NIV) There
is something about experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirt as we pray with
Jesus also showed us the
importance of praying alone: “After
dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When
evening came, He was there alone.”
(Matthew 14: 23, Holman) In order to avoid suffering burnout and
spiritual emptiness, there is a need for us to pour into ourselves before we
can pour into others. Once we are filled
up, we are ready to go out and serve.
We thank you for your grace and
power of prayer. Please help us to
remember that prayer reaches the doors of heaven, and changes things. We also ask that you would help us to get
into the habit of developing a routine for prayer, whether it is by ourselves
or with others.
In your name we pray,
Thank you for visiting Healing Our Brokenness, and if this episode has blessed you in any way, please tag a friend on Social Media, share it, review it on Itunes, and pray for the show as well.
Today, I am featuring another aspect in the “Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis” series. This aspect is that of music. Music can have several effects. It can make you go from feeling relaxed to nervous, anxious, and scared, and then switch over to anger, frustration, and sadness in a heartbeat.
Whether you are suffering with trauma/PTSD or not, listening to music can take you back to twenty years of memories that can feel like it was yesterday. Our emotions get stirred, and if we are not careful, we can start riding the waves. You can start thinking about old relationships and all sorts of things.
When it comes to music and PTSD, it can be both a good and bad thing, depending upon the situation. If the music is loud and harsh, with screaming involved, it can cause you to have the trauma symptoms of irritation, dissociation, and anxiety.
Unfortunately, I have experienced all of these. About five years ago, my son was listening to some metal Christian music. I had to ask him to turn it down, then off. It was just too much. The screaming caused the Fear Aspect of Trauma to settle in. I started to feel unsettled in my spirit, along with feeling agitation and anxiousness.
Whether you are listening to loud or soft music, if you haven’t processed memories that are associated with a particular song, you may not be able to tolerate that song or style of music for a while. You’ll usually know if you can tolerate the song/style because you will be able to listen to it without any problems. If the song is intolerable, you usually end up with bad flashbacks or dissociation.
Just recently, I realized that I am fully able to enjoy gospel music again. Starting in 2013, it became hit or miss. Gospel music is associated with attending a missionary baptist church as a kid, leading the choir with my ex-husband, praise dancing, and my roots in general. In order for me to truly appreciate it again, I had to process the important events that this genre held close to my heart. The events weren’t just from one particular time period. They were spread across years.
Recently, my friend invited me to two gospel concerts she performed in. I felt like I was back in the church that I attended as a kid. I knew that this genre had helped me to place the piece of puzzle of my identity in this area back to where it belonged.
Music from the 70s and 80s is also some of my favorites. When I listen to this music, it causes ambivalence. Why? This time period represents a life of simpler times. I have relatives that were alive then, and no longer alive. Community was food, dancing, talking, and enjoying one another’s company. Sometimes, I find myself dancing and crying at the same time.
The more I listen to it, the better it gets. However, I still have moments of extreme grief from trauma, as well as joy at the same time because these memories will forever be in my heart.
How has the music aspect affected your PTSD? Would love to hear your thoughts!
In case you missed our last episode, “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 2”, you can find that episode here. Today’s episode, Episode 27, is entitled Simply Grace. I hope that you enjoy this special poetry reading.
Simply Grace Podcast Outline:
Dissection of Topics and Reading of Poetry
Welcome to the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Episode 27:
Simply Grace. The intro and ending song
that you hear on the podcast is entitled “Valley of Grace” and is song by
Timothy Horton. Today is a special episode. Why is that?
I will be ready poetry from a book that I published back in February
entitled, “Simply Grace”. It is
available on Amazon. Simply Grace is a
compilation of simple, healthy recipes that are mostly non-meat, along with
poetry that tackles tough issues that we face every day. However, these issues are seasoned with
grace. I deal with truth, so that the truth
brings healing. We are set free by
true. I also deal with raw emotions.
The first poem, entitled “The Quench” deals with Approval
Reading of the poem
The next poem, entitled “The Source of Self-Worth” dissects
our need for self-worth, and not just the need, but the struggle to get it from
things, rather than the main source.
Reading of the poem
The next poem, entitled” Coat of Favor” deals with the Life
of Joseph, his trials, and his redemption.
Reading of the Poem
Have you ever taken matters into your own hands, instead of
waiting on God? The next poem deals with
just that. It is entitled, “Oh, The Pain
Reading of the Poem
For those of us who have been through abuse, we must relearn
what love is. That is what” Abide My
Love, Dance with Me” is all about: God’s love poured out on me to reshape my
thoughts on abuse. Secondly, it describes
how I danced with my Heavenly Father during a period of trials and financial despair,
and how God “showed me his back” as his showed Moses, so to speak, by allowing
me to feel his presence for several hours.
Reading of the Poem
The last poem, “I am the Vine, And So Is It Time?” deals with
a combination of things: the Crucifixion
of Jesus on the Cross, John 15, and the Clematis vine that I attempted to tie
to the trellis last spring as I was getting bit by mosquitos. The first time that I attempted this adventure,
there were too many mosquitos out. The second and final time I was finally able
to do it. However, just within the few
days of break in between, the clematis vine had completely wrapped itself around
one of the heucheras. It was a wonderful
way to see the scriptures in action.
Reading of the Poem
Thank you for listening to Episode 27: Simply Grace, and if
you are enjoying the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast, please recommend a friend,
share on social media, and/or subscribe to hear us on Youtube, Itunes, Google
Play, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can
also listen to us on the blog.
Have you ever been embarrassed by a family member who may have commented as you were getting ready to leave out the door: “Are you wearing that? You should take off those clothes! Put something else on!” Of course, this is definitely a bold choice of words. However, have you ever stopped to consider God telling you that?
No, God doesn’t bash us. However, he does make suggestions that will benefit our good. He has miraculously saved us from the pit of hell, a life of sin and bondage, and all kinds of unimaginable things, but he sees that we still choose to wear the “grave clothes”. This is the point where we can imagine him screaming out: “Take off those clothes!”. It’s as if we still want to have a little bit of the old nature on us.
Dissection of the Clothes
What happens when we wear grave clothes? People can’t tell that we are Christians because we look, act, and talk like everyone else. We trade in the sweet fragrance of Christ, for the death smell of the grave that God has resurrected us from.
Why do we choose to do this? We won’t change our thinking so that our behavior can change as well. We are more comfortable with the stench of the grave clothes than walking in the newness of Christ.
So, how do we know that God’s desire is for us to shake loose from this putrid outfit? When Jesus resurrected Lazarus from the dead, Lazarus was bound in grave clothes. His first command was for them to take off those clothes:
38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
And that is his command for me and you. He dares us to trust him with our new life!