Episode 43: The Big “D”

Episode 43: The Big “D”
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Have you ever been divorced? Do you know of someone who has been divorced? When you found out that this person was divorced, did you treat them differently? Today’s podcast is entitled, “The Big “D”, and that “D” stands for divorce. Click above to listen to the latest podcast episode.

It has been said that divorce is worse than death.  There was a time when the word divorce was taboo.  Older television shows reflect these ideas.  When children mentioned that their friends’ parents were getting divorced, they were shushed by their parents, and/or the parents came up with an excuse as to why Johnny or Susan couldn’t play at the neighbors’ house anymore.  They were outcasts.

divorce, psychology, family life, marriage, trust issues, healing, brokenness, healing our brokenness, podcasting, podcast, katina horton, simple functional grace-filled living, family law, spiritual health

Prior to getting divorced, I heard someone use the phrases “It’s no big deal.  People get divorced every day.”  This is true.  However, what is also true is that you don’t have people lined up to tell you the real impact from divorce.  Divorce leaves lifelong effects in every area:  financially, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc.  Basically, there is no table left unturned.    

Grief experienced from divorce can be draining.  With this pain, you must grieve the loss of the marriage, the loss of the family as a unit, and then grieve that part of your identity that is being taken away.  There is no magic formula for the intensity of the pain or the amount of time that it will take to heal.  My grief so far tends to run in spurts.  The grief might be off and on all day for three weeks, and then there is a month break before it starts up again.  I have had other women tell me that theirs was every day for two hours for the length of anywhere from two to five years.

There are some individuals who have gotten divorced because of severe abuse that has gone on for years.  In Malachi 2:16, we are told, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.” (NASB)

Others have gotten divorced as a result of extramarital affairs:  The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made

at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.   And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Matthew 19: 3-9)

 It is possible for God to heal marriages from any situation, even the ones listed above.  However, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that one person can fix the whole marriage.  As individuals, we can only do our part.  We cannot be the Holy Spirit for others.  I am a planner.  I like organizing, analyzing, and figuring things out.  I thought that if I could just do A, B, and C, things would be fine.  If things weren’t getting better, it was because I hadn’t figured out the right formula yet.  Satan led me to believe that I was responsible for the entire relationship. 

He led me down the path of dishonoring God, and disrespecting myself and children “all in the name of love”.  The best thing that we can do is pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment, and then in turn get professional help for ourselves.  It is easy to pass judgment upon others who are considering divorce.  However, the truth is, only the individuals involved in the marriage are aware of the severity of the situation.  I stayed in a toxic situation for twenty years.  Thank God for Him getting a hold of my heart and mind.  We can pray the same thing for others whom we know of that are walking in this path.

Dear God,

We thank you for your word to go to when we are unsure, and don’t know where to turn.  Please help us to help others by sending them to your word and prayer when it comes to decisions about divorce.  We also pray that we would not pass judgment upon others when they are going through divorce because we don’t know the whole story.  Only you do.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

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Episode 42: Lessons from the Vine-Part 1

lessons from the vine, vine, branches, fruit, no growth, immaturity, podcasting, podcaster, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, emotional health, mental health, psychology

Episode 42: Lessons from the Vine-Part 1
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Lessons from the Vine Outline

  • Introduction
  • Scripture
  • Conversation with Coworker
  • Application to our lives
  • Podcast Transcript
lessons from the vine, vine, branches, fruit, no growth, immaturity, podcasting, podcaster, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, emotional health, mental health, psychology
Photo by Sarah Pflug

Good afternoon everyone!

Welcome to Healing our Brokenness episode 42, entitled, Lessons from the Vine”. Have you ever received a lesson from a vine? What about the illustration that God gives us in his word regarding the vine and the branches?

John 15:5 New International Version (NIV)

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.



This past week I was talking to a coworker of mine about how the flowers in my front yard, the side of the house, and in the backyard were doing something weird this year. It is as if they were confused due to a combination of lack of sun, cold temperatures in May and June, and a variety of other reasons.

There were 2 flowers that we discussed.  One is a vine, and the other is a burning bush.  The one that I will dissect today is that of the burning bush.  The burning bush sits in front of my house. It literally has 4 different things going on with it. The first situation is that there were some branches were no leaves were produced.  The second situation that was going on was that there were branches with leaves that produced and is thriving. The next situation that is going on is that some leaves were thriving but are now dead.  And the last situation was one in which some of the Leaves had started turning their burgundy color as if fall was approaching already.  I decided to cut off the dead withered leaves.

She brought it to my attention that it could be a perfect illustration for our lives. Here is what God gave me as a lesson from the burning bush. There are certain areas of our lives that are dead.  They need to be cut out. The second lesson is that there are some areas in our lives where we are trying to move too fast instead of going through the process that God has for us. This could be due to seeing others thriving and excelling in their businesses etc.  The 3rd lesson from the burning bush is that there are some areas in our lives that are right on target and maturing properly. The last lesson from the burning bush is that there are areas of our lives where immaturity exists, and therefore, there is no growth at all. These are the areas that God wants to prune so that we can produce fruit and continue to grow.

Which one of these lessons do you identify with? I’m quite sure that we can find a little bit of ourselves in each one of them. Let’s be mindful of the areas that need growth, areas that are moving too fast, areas that are dead, and the areas that are growing in maturity in Christ just fine.

Thank you for listening to “Healing Our Brokenness, episode 42, “Lessons from the Vine”.  God bless and have a wonderful week!

Episode 41: Fear in Control

Episode 41: Fear in Control
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Fear in Control Outline

  • Fear explained.
  • Dread explained.
  • How Fear took over in my life.
  • Repetition of Satan’s Tactics.
  • Podcast Transcript

Good afternoon! Welcome to “Healing our Brokenness”, Episode 41, entitled “Fear in Control”. How many of you have dealt with fear? How did it make you feel? Was your heart racing? Did you feel like you were losing your mind? Was your body shaking?

fear, fear in control, podcaster, podcasting, episode 41, mental health, psychology, emotional health, fear reigns, dread, katina horton, lifestyle blogger
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What is fear?  Fear is when we are perceiving something as a threat or danger to us.  If you have dealt with any kind of trauma, or have PTSD, you know that the fear part of the brain can get triggered.  And then when this happens, All reasoning goes out the door.  We know what we know, but because the fear brain has taken over, we cannot stop it. What happens is that while the fear brain is in control, you become keenly aware that the fear is irrational and needs to stop. You literally feel as if someone is behind you and after you at the same time. I have experienced this several times. When it happens, I usually get praise music in my head to let me know that I am OK. However, I cannot stop the process of what the fear brain of PTSD / trauma is doing. It has a mind of its own so to speak.  No amount of talking myself down helps me to calm down. I know that I just have to wait it out.

When we think of dread it does not bring about a good connotation. Dread makes you think of something awful taking place, another form of extreme fear within itself.  When I was in my 20s, and I found myself having a health crisis, my life was filled with fear that was out of control, and daily battles of dread of dying because of my health. I am allowed Satan to get the best of me in my thoughts, and in my spirit. Every day, as I waited for my thyroid condition to improve, Satan had me trapped in a foot hold of fear and dread about me possibly going into cardiac arrest and dying before getting to the point of feeling better. 

What made it worse is that i was suffering from an extreme lack of sleep.  When you are going without sleep for so long, it puts you quickly in a category for having a lot of other things to take place. And some of those things include mental health issues, nervous system issues, focusing issues, brain fog, and the inability to cope in general. My lack of sleep coupled with dealing with trying to get my thyroid under control for months made me the perfect bait for Satan to get a foothold.

And what were his lies? His lies were “This is it. You are not going to make it”. Then after a while, I realized that I had gone about 6 months feeding into this mess. I have wasted all of the time that could have been used enjoying myself locked into fear of dying.

As Christians, we are not exempt from dealing temptation and spiritual warfare.  We have God’s promises even when we don’t feel like they are true or that he hears us or even that he is near to us. 

Hear are some scriptures to help you during times of fear that I am currently implementing as I walk through releasing fear in certain areas of my life:

2 Corinthians 10:5 King James Version (KJV)

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

2 Timothy 1:7 New King James Version (NKJV)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Philippians 4:13 New King James Version (NKJV)

13 I can do all things through [a]Christ who strengthens me.

Dear God,

Please cover us in your blood from the crown of our heads to the soul of our feet.  Please help us to know that you are near.  You are the same God in every area of our lives, including fear.  Help us to remember this, even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it.  I pray for a covering of hope, love, and peace. 

In your name,

Amen

Thank you for listening to Healing our Brokenness, episode 41 entitled “Fear in Control”.

Seasoned Chicken Breasts

Background Story on “Seasoned Chicken Breast”

I am reading about six books at one time. This is almost always the norm as of the last couple of years. One of the books that I am reading is entitled, “I Thought It Was Just Me (But IT Isn’t) by Brene Brown. I just recently started this book. This particular read hones in on shame and perfectionism, how they work together, and how we can employ shame resilience.

Although I am only at the beginning part of the book, what stuck out to me is the correlation between shame and performance. We have all been guilty of using shame to get the end result of performance. This happens everywhere, including work, home, and in our churches. However, using shame to get this result only damages both side. It damages the shamer and it damages the one being shamed.

No one is left feeling good about themselves. Why is that? Shame reaches into areas of our lives that stirs all kind of unwanted emotions. In order for people to change, we have to have a motivator for ourselves, not from the pressure of other people via shaming or any other form of pressure. Change will not last in this manner. Consequences are not always enough to produce change. Understanding what our behavior does to others will.

Now, on to the recipe. This recipe that I made two weeks ago is a quick recipe for seasoned chicken breasts that can be made in no time and then placed on buns to make a chicken breast sandwich restaurant-style. Hope you enjoy!

Seasoned chicken breast, healthy eating, seasoned chicken, healthy eating, blog, recipes, katina horton, blogger, lifestyle blogging, chicken, lunch ideas, dinner ideas
Photo by Katina Horton

Activity: Making Seasoned Chicken Breasts

Total Prepping and Cooking Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients:

  • Parsley- 3 teaspoons
  • Onion powder-2 teaspoons
  • Curry-3 tablespoons
  • Chili powder -2 teaspoons
  • Black Pepper – 2 teaspoons
  • Cumin-2 teaspoons
  • 3 large chicken breasts
  • 1/3 cup of olive oil

Directions:

  • Rinse off three large chicken breasts.
  • Cut them up into chunks, season them on one side, and place them in a skillet of oil.
  • Turn them over after 13 minutes and season the other side.
  • Eat them paired with sides, alone, or in between two pieces of specialty bread.

Embraced

embraced, love, simple functional grace-filled living, katina horton, poetry, poem, blog, love, sanctification, image of Christ, God's love, needy, lonely, hug

Are you feeling alone? Do you long to be embraced? Do you know that being embraced by God is the best comfort that we can have? This poem deals with just that.

Embraced

Embraced by His Love.

Redeemed by His Blood.

Enthralled by His Spirit.

Sanctification-

No need to fear it.

embraced, love, simple functional grace-filled living, katina horton, poetry, poem, blog, love, sanctification, image of Christ, God's love, needy, lonely, hug
Photo by Nicole De Khors

John 3:16

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Reunion

El Roi

Episode 40: Get Out

katina horton, simple functional grace-filled news, simple functional grace-filled living, podcast, healing, brokenness, Joseph, running, temptation

Episode 40: Get Out
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Get Out Podcast Outline

  • Dissecting Temptation
  • When to Get Out
  • When did Joseph Get Out?
katina horton, simple functional grace-filled news, simple functional grace-filled living, podcast, healing, brokenness, Joseph, running, temptation
Photo by Sarah Pflug

Show Notes:

Get Out!!

Temptation is one of those things that can sneak up on you out of nowhere. It helps us to get a bigger sense of the difference between seeing and looking at something. Back in the day when I was caught up in my shopping madness, I would see something in the store after I had purchased everything I had already planned on buying. Then, I had to go over to take a closer look, and then I ended up back at the register, spending way more money than I planned. My time of escape was right after seeing it, getting out of the store quick, fast, and in a hurry. This is often how it is with temptation. We ignore that small window, and then it’s too late.

God’s word gives us example after example of this happening, while we are in our minds going, “No that is not going to happen to me.” Even now, because it was a stronghold in the past, I am constantly having to be on guard when Satan tries to get me over to the looking side. All the feelings that were back then come rushing back as a warning.

1 Corinthians 10:11-14 says:

These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the culmination of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.  (NIV)

Missing the Message

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When did you find yourself “missing the message” because you were in a rush? How did it make you feel? What happens when you slow down so that you can take in what seems to be the smallest of moments? These missed messages can be God’s time with us if we allow him the opportunity.

God bless!

Katina

missing the message, video, katina horton, blog, podcaster, simple functional grace-filled living, valley of grace, rushing, anxiety, pausing, self-care
Photo by Patchanu Noree

Episode 38: Grace and Truth

katina horton, psychology, emotional health, mental health, physical health, healing our brokenness, boundaries, legalism, wanting to be right, valley of grace, simple functional grace-filled living

Episode 38: Grace and Truth
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Would you consider yourself a person of grace and truth, or a person of just truth? What is the difference? Find out by listening to today’s podcast to see what happens when we have one without the other. Remember to catch up on last week’s episode here first.

Grace and Truth Podcast Outline

katina horton, psychology, emotional health, mental health, physical health, healing our brokenness, boundaries, legalism, wanting to be right, valley of grace, simple functional grace-filled living
Photo by Pegleess Barrios
  • Dissection on Relationships
  • Applying Grace
  • Applying Truth
  • The Marriage of Grace and Truth

Scripture Focus:

Ephesians 4: 14-15

John 8: 32

Relationships are hard.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers, it can be challenging.  One thing about relationships is that they require time, energy, grace, and love.  When disagreements arise, and they will, we can be so intent on wanting to be right, that we can damage the relationship even more. 

God tells us in his word:  “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32, NLT) We shouldn’t be foolish, and pretend that the truth doesn’t matter. When we ignore the truth, we train our minds and bodies to slowly downplay the cues they tell us that signify something is wrong.  Only applying the truth can also bring in legalism.  Because God gives us grace, we are able to extend grace to others.  Only applying grace without truth and boundaries leads to being taken advantage of, an out of control situation, and the other person constantly pressing the envelope to see how far they can go.  “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.” (Ephesians 4:14-15, BSB)

There are individuals in my own life who have hurt me dearly.  I cannot ignore the revelation of truth that healing has brought me.  At the same time, if I focused only on the truth of these situations, it would make my heart bitter.  The truth is, we are all broken individuals, and since we are all broken individuals, we all have sin in our lives.  If it weren’t for God’s mercy in eliminating certain people and things from my life, I could very well have gone down that path.  Offering grace and truth to people doesn’t mean restoration of the relationship.  It could mean grieving what is no longer there, acceptance, and the ability to move on.

Dear God,

We thank you for the relationships that you have blessed us with.  We pray that you would give us discernment when it comes to applying grace and truth in difficult situations.  Please help us to understand that we are all broken individuals in need of a Savior.

In Your name we pray,

Amen

Reunion

Katina Horton, Valley of Grace, Simple functional grace-filled living, healing, reunion, estrangement, Joseph, Potiphar, grace, prison, dreams, dreamer, blog, blogger, blogging

Do you have family members that you have been estranged or separated from? Never underestimate the power of God to allow a reunion as God did with Joseph and his brothers. We can let God do the work as we pray for willing and open hearts. “Reunion” is the story of the reunion of Joseph and his brothers. God bless!

Katina Horton, Valley of Grace, Simple functional grace-filled living, healing, reunion, estrangement, Joseph, Potiphar, grace, prison, dreams, dreamer, blog, blogger, blogging
Photo by Samantha Hurley

They left me for dead,

But sold me instead.

Endured being in chains,

As favor surely reigned.

Became second in command,

Till the wife wanted my hand.

In charge of the prison.

NO Release.

Just indecision.

Till the king had his dream.

God revealed all the means.

Gave God all the credit.

My life story took an edit.

Then my brothers showed up in hunger.

Couldn’t take it any longer.

Told all servants to leave the room.

As I cried out deep in gloom.

Hugged them deep and cried out long.

Filled our souls and showed up strong.

The reunion wasn’t expected.

But God’s grace had it protected.

Related Poetry: Coat of Favor

Genesis 39: The Story of Joseph

Episode 37: One Bad Apple

Samuel, bad apple, one bad apple, apples, fruit, internalization, psychology, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, choosing friends, healing our brokenness, valley of grace, simple functional grace-filled living, katina horton

Episode 37: One Bad Apple
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In case you missed my last podcast episode, you can grab it here.

One Bad Apple Podcast Outline

Samuel, bad apple, one bad apple, apples, fruit, internalization, psychology, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, choosing friends, healing our brokenness, valley of grace, simple functional grace-filled living, katina horton
Photo by Matthew Henry
  • Influence of Others
  • Godly Influence
  • Internalizing Things
  • Samuel’s Experience
  • Scripture Focus:

Galatians 6

1 Samuel 16

Researchers state that it takes one “bad” person to ruin five good people. Remember the figure of speech that you were lectured on as a kid when it came time to picking your friends: “One bad apple ruins the whole bunch.” We got tired of hearing our parents and other adults say it, but what they were saying was basically synonymous with Galatians 5:9: “A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.” (KJV) Whether we are kids or adults, we must be careful of the company that we keep.

When we hang out with our friends, coworkers, family members, etc, it just becomes natural to start saying some of the things that they say. This is what happens when we are in relationship with anyone. Just as when we are reading God’s Word, and in relationship with him, our thoughts and behaviors will reflect that relationship.

However, if you are like me, where everything that is heard on tv, radio, and by mouth is internalized and leaks into your emotional, mental, and spiritual space, then you’ll find that you must be extra careful. Why? When we least expect it, words that are not our own start entering our mind.

And if we’re not careful, they are coming out of our mouths. I have found myself rebuking Satan many a day when this happens. I will never forget when one of my friends said that

she told her son to be careful with what he allows to come in from other people, because 1) it will go into our minds, 2) it will go into our hearts, and 3) it will come out of our mouths.

Dear God,

Thank you for giving us the gift of relationship. Please help us in using discernment in these relationships, as well as being self-aware of how we operate, so that we don’t fall prey to the devil.

In your name we pray,

Amen