Episode 13: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma

trauma, eye doctor, healing, grace, living with and healing from trauma, emotional health, mental health, psychological health, depression, ptsd, ptsd survivor, doctor, eye doctor, podcaster, podcasting, podcast, healing our brokenness, katina horton, simple functional grace-filled living, eyes, exams, physical health, traumatized

Episode 13: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma
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trauma, eye doctor, healing, grace, living with and healing from trauma, emotional health, mental health, psychological health, depression, ptsd, ptsd survivor, doctor, eye doctor, podcaster, podcasting, podcast, healing our brokenness, katina horton, simple functional grace-filled living, eyes, exams, physical health, traumatized
Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

Our last podcast, Lost in the Woods of Trauma, dealt with the process of going from having the trauma identity to reign, to have our identity in Christ to take over. This week’s episode: Grace Aspect of Living With and Healing from Trauma, shares about the embarrassing moments that we all have when we live with and heal from trauma on a daily basis, even when we have come a long way with our healing. It also handles how to see these moments as God sees them. Click to listen!

Podcast Outline

Traumatic Childhood Events

My Traumatic Childhood Event

My Eye Doctor Visit

Grace Aspect: My Resolve

Grace Aspect: Bible Verses for Meditation

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who was tempted in every way that we are, yet was without sin.  Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy, and find grace to help us in our time of need.


Hebrews 4: 15-16

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Faith Without Works?

planning, faith, spiritual health, poetry, podcaster, poem, action, waiting on God

The last poem that I wrote is entitled Released. You can find that poem here. Today’s poem is simple, but meant to stir some thought about our spiritual life. God gave us a gift: his Son. When you receive a gift, there is nothing that you have to do on your part. You just accept it. We are told in Ephesians 2: 8-9; “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”

When it comes to prayers being answered, we have those of us who say that we are waiting on God, and do nothing. But, then there are those of us who live as if God has answered by acting upon it. Which one is showing faith?

planning, faith, spiritual health, poetry, podcaster, poem, action, waiting on God

Faith Without Works?

I’ve got faith. What about you?

I’ve got faith. Works added too.

I’m waiting on God to do his part.

I’m living as if he’s already started.

Don’t understand, prayed in my bed.

Well don’t you know?

Without works it’s dead?

Meditation Scripture

Faith Without Works Is Dead

14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without [ayour works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! 20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? 22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. 24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.

25 Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?

26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

Digestion Aspect: Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis

emotional health, anxiety, mental health, depression, anxiety, eating, food, grieving, ptsd survivor, podcaster, author, blogger, blog, blogger life, digestion, regurgitation, hypersensitive, trauma

emotional health, anxiety, mental health, depression, anxiety, eating, food, grieving, ptsd survivor, podcaster, author, blogger, blog, blogger life, digestion, regurgitation, hypersensitive, trauma
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In our Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis Series, I dissect issues and symptoms of PTSD/trauma. This is in hopes of letting people know that they are not alone, as well as giving people the freedom to comment, and talk about how PTSD/trauma has affected their lives in these areas. The last post in the Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis Series was one dealing with the Holiday Aspect of trauma. You can find that post here. Today’s post will focus on the Digestion Aspect.

One surprising revelation for me was realizing that PTSD/trauma actually affects your digestion. I stumbled upon this realization in June of 2014, a couple of months after getting divorced. There are three things that I noticed when it comes to trauma and digestion:

Trauma and grief will come out in the form of regurgitation.

I am not trying to sound gross here, so please bear with me. Due to complications with my ex-husband’s health, as well as the fact that I had stuffed my emotions for so long, my grief was delayed. Grieving my divorce, and all the events surrounding it, were delayed. Alleviating some of the symptoms that I was experiencing seemed downright frightening because of stuffing for so long.

This caused me to be in a vicious cycle of stuffing and feeling like my face and chest was going to explode, with very little relief. Trauma is in the tissues, and so I discovered, along with reading information on my own, that movement, grief, and massaging helped to release it. The problem came into play when I finally felt like I could release the trauma. However, the underlying feeling was that if I started crying, there would be no bottoming out. Subconsciously, I knew it was going to be a bad release.

Instead of my system waiting any longer, it released the trauma and grief in the form of regurgitation. Initially, I thought that it was just that maybe something upset my stomach. However, after four rounds of this, and feeling grief in between each round, I knew that wasn’t the case at all. It didn’t take long to put two and two together.

I felt very vulnerable, and my son kept asking me, “What did you eat?” I told him that it had nothing to do with the food. It was physiological.

Trauma will cause your system to get confused about hunger and fullness.

Another weird discovery that I made is that every now and then, stored trauma and unreleased grief will make your system confused as far as satiety is concerned. There are times when I have felt like I could keep eating forever. Then, there are other times that I feel hungry, and then attempt to eat, but will all of a sudden feel full.

Lastly, there are times when I can literally feel my emotions trapped in my midsection, causing my body to try to figure out whether it is satisfied, or it needs more food. It is the weirdest thing. It doesn’t happen as much anymore. However, when it happens, it can be very frustrating.

When doing research, one of the explanations that I found is that because of PTSD/trauma, at times, the blood that should flow into the stomach, moves away from it, going to other areas like the arms.

Trauma will cause you to become hypersensitive to certain foods, causing severe panic attacks when consumed in normal portions.

The last issue that I would like to discuss is how trauma causes hypersensitivity to foods. These foods vary from person to person. For me, it was sugar. I first discovered this when I decided to eat a glazed donut in 2015.

Within five minutes, a severe panic attack came on, I felt like I was going to hit the roof. The only thing that would help my system to calm down was drinking an excess amount of water, and then deep breathing, and a lot of prayer. Taking multivitamins has helped , but it is still not the same.

My system has improved a little. However, it can’t handle what it once was able to. Sometimes, I get frustrated with this fact. It is what it is. I have learned to accept the fact that a few moments of pleasure for an hour or more of panic just isn’t worth it.

How has PTSD/trauma affected your digestion? What are some of the ways that you use to cope with it?

God bless,

Katina

The Advancer

writing, advancer, vision, plain, habakkuk, poetry, poem, poet, podcaster, writer, author, blogger, blogger life, spiritual health, waiting

We have our plans, and then God has his. Three or four people can be doing the exact same thing, and two people may succeed, and the other two may not. Second option: The other two may have to wait for God to release. So, sometimes if you haven’t been released for success yet, it isn’t necessarily that you aren’t do everything right, it may not be your timing yet. God is the advancer, and we are not. Sometimes that realization is difficult to sink in. As individuals, it can be easy to get caught in this type of thinking. It becomes another way to stay stuck in the comparison trap. When we submit to his will, and do our part, he makes it plain. This poem, The Advancer, deals with this aspect in a nutshell. Last week’s poem, Why I Write, can be found here. God bless!

writing, advancer, vision, plain, habakkuk, poetry, poem, poet, podcaster, writer, author, blogger, blogger life, spiritual health, waiting

The Advancer

Writing the Vision.

Making It Plain.

Doing His Calling.

Dancing in Rain.

Waiting on God.

Seeing How He Answers.

Trusting in Him.

The Mighty Advancer.

Meditation Verse

Habakkuk 2: 1-3

I will stand at my guard post and station myself on the ramparts. I will watch to see what He will say to me and how I will answer my reproof.  Then the LORDanswered me:“Write down this vision and clearly inscribe it on tablets,so that a herald may run with it.  For the vision awaits an appointed time; it testifies of the end, and will not lie. Though it lingers, wait for it, since it will surely come and not delay.…

Why I Write

writing, author, book, poem, poet, poetry, blogger, blogger life, trauma, anxiety, death, birth. living, emotional health, mental health, podcaster

The last poem that I wrote was entitled, “Gratitude, Gratitude”, and it can be found here. Today’s poem takes you on a winding adventure of why I have chosen to write. Please feel free to send in your comments below on why it is that you have chosen the path of writing.

writing, author, book, poem, poet, poetry, blogger, blogger life, trauma, anxiety, death, birth. living, emotional health, mental health, podcaster
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Why I Write

I write from the heart.

No, it’s not just a part.

It’s the pain and the struggles.

It’s the drama and the tuggles.

The laughter and the cries.

The births and the byes.

The ins and the outs.

The moments filled with doubt.

The pushing past surviving.

The greeting of the thriving.

The heartaches and the pain.

The neverending rain.

The beauty and the ashes.

The life that’s filled with dashes.

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.


Proverbs 29:18 King James Version (KJV)

Episode 12: Lost in the Woods of Trauma

trauma, identity, stolen identity, anxiety, depression, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, ptsd survivor, podcast, poet, poetry, podcaster, blogger life, blogger, author, woods, lost, rock bottom

Episode 12: Lost in the Woods of Trauma
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Have you ever lost your kid? That’s the scariest thing in the world? What about you? Have you ever been lost yourself? I mean really lost!!! Think about how you felt. Today, on Healing Our Brokenness, we are going to discuss being lost in the woods. Lost in the woods is a term that I give for “Identity Issues of Trauma.” I described this issue in the poem that I wrote that is called, “Stolen Identity”. You can find that poem here.

trauma, identity, stolen identity, anxiety, depression, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, ptsd survivor, podcast, poet, poetry, podcaster, blogger life, blogger, author, woods, lost, rock bottom
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  • Lost in the Woods of Trauma Outline
  • Discussion of Being Lost
  • What Led to My Discovery of Being Lost in the Woods
  • How I Grounded Myself
  • What did David Do When he was Lost in the Woods?
  • Bible Verses to Meditate On

Psalm 143 King James Version (KJV)

143 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.

And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.

For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead.

Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.

I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.

10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.

11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.

12 And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

Blessings, Blessings

poem, poet, poetry, blessings, spiritual health, gem, focus, things

Background on Blessings, Blessings

Yesterday, I wrote a poem called “The Captain of the Ship”. You can find that poem here. Today’s poem deals with a different subject. Sometimes we get so caught up in our day to day living that we focus on the things that we have been blessed with instead of focusing on the source, the Creator of the universe. This poem is meant to cause one stop and take notice of what is most important in life: our “Gem”, the King of Kings.

Blessings, Blessings

poem, poet, poetry, blessings, spiritual health, gem, focus, things
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Blessings, Blessings.

Here and there.

Blessings, Blessings.

Everywhere.

Do we focus on the kings?

Or, do we focus on Him?

Do we focus on the things?

Or, do we focus on the “Gem”?

Blessings, Blessings.

Here and there.

Blessings, Blessings.

Everywhere.

James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Genesis 22: 16-17

16 and said, “I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies,

Genesis 27: 28-29

28 May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine. 29 May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.”

Dancing in the Rain

rain, feet, dancing, dancing in the rain, David, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, poet, poetry, storms

Dancing in the Rain
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The last podcast that was recorded was Episode 10: Pick up your mat and walk! You can find that episode here. Today’s episode is called “Dancing in the Rain”. I know that there are quite a few of you who like to dance. Unfortunately, this isn’t the kind of dancing that I am talking about. This dancing deals with the response to the storms of life. Click the play button and take a listen. God bless!

rain, feet, dancing, dancing in the rain, David, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, poet, poetry, storms
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Outline of Dancing in the Rain podcast:

  • Dancing in the Rain Movie-style
  • Dancing in the Rain Storm style
  • How Job danced in the Rain
  • How I danced in the Rain
  • How Do you Dance in the Rain?
  • Bible Verses to Meditate On:

Job 1

There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.

And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters.

His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the men of the east.

And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.

And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.

Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them.

And the Lord said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.

And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?

Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought?

10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.

11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.

12 And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord.

13 And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house:

14 And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them:

15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of God is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

17 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away, yea, and slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house:

19 And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

20 Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,

21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Vivian Greene

Old Year, New Reflections

old year, new reflections, theme, new, relationships, learning, devotionals, poet, blogger, poem, poetry, author, speaker, podcaster, spiritiual health

The last poem that was written, “Stolen Identity”, can be found here. This poem, “Old Year, New Reflections” deals with the reality of what I’ve had to face this year, as well as the things that I have to look forward to in the new year. As you read through this poem, take the time to reflect on what this year meant to you, as well as what the promise of the New Year brings.

old year, new reflections, theme, new, relationships, learning, devotionals, poet, blogger, poem, poetry, author, speaker, podcaster, spiritiual health
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A New Year approaches.

New theme.

New time.

New wisdom to greet.

New healing is mine.

A year filled with options, much pain, new gain.

A heart filled with wholeness and heaviness remains,

A year filled with trauma, and doubts, and reactions.

A heart filled with faith and then works put into action.

New meaning.

New surrender.

New responses.

New cheer.

A heart filled with God for a Happy New Year.

God bless,

Katina

Life

life, emotional health, mental health, disappointments, spiritual health, crying, laughing, poetry, poem, blogger, author, podcaster

The last poem that I wrote was entitled, “Dance of Praise”. You can find that poem here. The poem for today is “Life”. It deals with all the joys and difficulties that one would find in daily living.

life, emotional health, mental health, disappointments, spiritual health, crying, laughing, poetry, poem, blogger, author, podcaster
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Life.

Filled with wonder.

Filled with strife.

One must ponder,

This thing called life.

Life.

Filled with fears.

Filled with doubt.

Brings a belly-roaring shout.

Life.

Filled with weeping.

Filled with sorrow.

And a hoping for tomorrow.

Life.

Filled with laughs.

Filled with cries.

And those never-ending sighs.

Life.

Bible Verses to Meditate On

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Psalms 121:7-8

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5: 15-16

Whoever pursues righteousness and love
finds life, prosperity and honor.

Proverbs 21:21

For we live by faith, not by sight.

2 Corinthians 5:7