When it comes to fear, there is no respect of persons. It gets a toehold, and pulls you in when you least expect it. With a combination of marinading ourselves in God’s love, prayer, and praise, fear will take a backseat. However, Satan isn’t going to want to let us go without a fight. He is always on the move. Therefore, we have to constantly stay armored up. For when fear is conquered in one area, he is sure to attack us in the next.
Sneaks upon from nowhere.
Latches on you if you dare.
Masquerading as your friend.
Only torments in the end.
Just Remember to look above.
Our Dear Father’s Perfect love.
In his love, there is no fear.
Abba, Father, He is Near.
1 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
Episode 45: Be Still: The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
00:00 / 00:14:52
Be Still Podcast Outline
Definition of Still
Definition of Know
Dissection of Psalm 46: 10
What Happens With the Combo of Trauma and Constant Busyness
Good afternoon! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness, episode 45,
Entitled, “Be Still:” The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma on a Daily Basis”
What does it mean to be still?
Being still means without movement, without speech, calm,
I like to think of stillness as the act of eliminating busyness
In Psalm 46: 10, God tells us, “Be still and know that I am
To know means to be aware of through information and observation. For us to know something or someone, we must
spend time with that person or learning about that topic. If we want to know
God, we must quiet our spirits, stop the striving, distractions, busyness, and
do what is required to be in a relationship with him. If we want to heal from
trauma, we also need a stillness to exist.
This stillness required from healing that helps us to know
about our mind and body connection, can only happen when we purposefully have 2
things: time and space.
When we are busy every minute of the day, we don’t have time
to know our bodies. Our bodies reveal the secrets behind our emotions. Just recently, and recently being about 3
months ago, I started working a full-time job. After a month, I realized that I
needed to tweak my schedule for the weekend. I had to block out 3 hours on my weekend
mornings in order to make sure that I could continue having my time of
stillness. Without stillness, it is hard to gain clarity.
Before working full time, I had more time and space for this
stillness to occur. Now, since my schedule has changed, i must be more
intentional about giving myself margin.
Right before starting work with this job, I had a traumatic
event to occur. Along with learning new things at work, and relearning how to
drive after 30 years, I was exhibiting “ADHD-like” trauma symptoms, and having
a hard time focusing. I knew that it was
only a matter of time till the emotional effects of this event would come out. My
system had to be relaxed enough with stillness, and time and space to go
through the steps of processing everything that had gone down.
The first symptom that was exhibited was that of nausea. I
knew immediately that this was grief. And how was I able to tell that? Four
years ago, when I was living at my previous residence , I became very nauseated
one evening after eating. It was the
worst case ever. I thought that I was
coming down with the flu or some type of virus. It was also during this time
that I had not begun to process any of the traumatic events that had occurred in
the previous 3 years. My system was on
emotional and mental overload.
All of a sudden, before I knew it, I ended up regurgitating 3
to 4 times. In between each time, I felt like I needed to cry very deeply. This
is how I was able to make the connection that nausea for me equals the need for
grief to be released from my body. At
the time, my son asked me about the contents of what I ate that could have made
me so sick. I told him that I realized that it had nothing to do with the food
that I ate.
When I told my therapist about what happened, she said, “Yes,
this was definitely physiological.”
Another symptom that occurred recently is where my lips started
to become numb. I knew immediately that
this represented anger that I needed to work through. Once again, if I did not have the time within
the last few years to process some of the trauma, I would not have had a clue of
what was going on. I probably would have
gotten myself all worked up and anxious, perpetuating the problem.
I was then able to go to God and ask him, “What is this
anger about? Is it just this traumatic event, or something else along with it?”.
Having my time of stillness, and space for reflection allowed me to get to the
root of the problem so that I could start healing from, it. That anger had been coming out sideways for about
2 1/2 weeks.
Music is one of my main go-to’s for enabling me to process
trauma , and so when I added more of this into my time and space, I gained even
more wisdom and discernment , along with being able to release the grief from
my system through crying heavily.
Changes are good. However,
changes are only fully embraced once the old has been grieved. All of the “would
haves”, “should haves”, and “not any more’s”. If you are having problems
healing from trauma, ask yourself if you are allowing yourself the time and
space of sitting in God’s stillness. The
pain, loneliness, and loss have to be grieved. I don’t want to mislead you. There
will be pain in this process. There’s no way to go around it. And I promise
you, if there was, everyone would be signing up for it. There is God’s grace,
mercy, and presence there. And it is
very much needed. It is also in this stillness that our mind, body, soul, and
spirit will begin to reveal the answers to our questions. It will help us to
lead the way and or continue our journey to a life of thriving.
First, try starting off with one hour of lying down without
any distractions and see if you can notice the difference of what this new
stillness brings. Initially, it will feel very uncomfortable because you will
want to quickly fill up your time with busyness. However, this quiet time will
begin to declutter your mind and allow you to get to the root of your issues, along
with the help a therapist.
I hope that “Episode 45: ‘Be Still: The Healing Aspect Of
Living With Trauma’” has been beneficial to you in some way. If Healing Our
Brokenness is making a difference in your life, please leave a review, tag a
friend, and give a shout out on social media. God bless! Have a wonderful week!
Are you walking in the freedom of Christ? What are we refusing to let go of as a result of someone else’s unhealed brokenness? What did someone say or do to us to make us want to keep hustling for self-worth? Why do we continue to void out the cause of the cross? What are some coping mechanisms/survival strategies/weird behaviors have you found yourself in because you are still trying to prove to your offender/person who hurt you, that you are enough? Would love to hear your comments!
Background on Recovery: When you are recovering from PTSD/trauma, it requires a lot of in-depth work. This poem depicts just that. You have to regain your sense of self, learn to listen to your body for its story, and be still with patience as God does his work.
Episode 43: The Big “D” Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Have you ever been divorced? Do you know of someone who has been divorced? When you found out that this person was divorced, did you treat them differently? Today’s podcast is entitled, “The Big “D”, and that “D” stands for divorce. Click above to listen to the latest podcast episode.
It has been said that divorce is worse than death. There was a time when the word divorce was taboo. Older television shows reflect these ideas. When children mentioned that their friends’ parents were getting divorced, they were shushed by their parents, and/or the parents came up with an excuse as to why Johnny or Susan couldn’t play at the neighbors’ house anymore. They were outcasts.
Prior to getting divorced, I heard
someone use the phrases “It’s no big deal.
People get divorced every day.”
This is true. However, what is
also true is that you don’t have people lined up to tell you the real impact
from divorce. Divorce leaves lifelong
effects in every area: financially,
emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. Basically, there is no table left
Grief experienced from divorce can be
draining. With this pain, you must
grieve the loss of the marriage, the loss of the family as a unit, and then
grieve that part of your identity that is being taken away. There is no magic formula for the intensity
of the pain or the amount of time that it will take to heal. My grief so far tends to run in spurts. The grief might be off and on all day for
three weeks, and then there is a month break before it starts up again. I have had other women tell me that theirs
was every day for two hours for the length of anywhere from two to five years.
There are some individuals who have
gotten divorced because of severe abuse that has gone on for years. In Malachi 2:16, we are told, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for
one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye
deal not treacherously.” (NASB)
It is possible for God to heal marriages from
any situation, even the ones listed above.
However, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that one person can
fix the whole marriage. As individuals,
we can only do our part. We cannot be
the Holy Spirit for others. I am a
planner. I like organizing, analyzing,
and figuring things out. I thought that
if I could just do A, B, and C, things would be fine. If things weren’t getting better, it was
because I hadn’t figured out the right formula yet. Satan led me to believe that I was responsible
for the entire relationship.
He led me down the path of
dishonoring God, and disrespecting myself and children “all in the name of
love”. The best thing that we can do is
pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment, and then in turn get professional
help for ourselves. It is easy to pass
judgment upon others who are considering divorce. However, the truth is, only the individuals
involved in the marriage are aware of the severity of the situation. I stayed in a toxic situation for twenty
years. Thank God for Him getting a hold
of my heart and mind. We can pray the
same thing for others whom we know of that are walking in this path.
We thank you for your word to go to
when we are unsure, and don’t know where to turn. Please help us to help others by sending them
to your word and prayer when it comes to decisions about divorce. We also pray that we would not pass judgment
upon others when they are going through divorce because we don’t know the whole
story. Only you do.
Episode 42: Lessons from the Vine-Part 1 Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
00:00 / 00:10:00
Lessons from the Vine Outline
Conversation with Coworker
Application to our lives
Good afternoon everyone!
Welcome to Healing our Brokenness episode 42, entitled, Lessons
from the Vine”. Have you ever received a lesson from a vine? What about the
illustration that God gives us in his word regarding the vine and the branches?
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in
you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
This past week I was talking to a coworker of mine about how the flowers in my
front yard, the side of the house, and in the backyard were doing something weird
this year. It is as if they were confused due to a combination of lack of sun, cold
temperatures in May and June, and a variety of other reasons.
There were 2 flowers that we discussed. One is a vine, and the other is a burning
bush. The one that I will dissect today
is that of the burning bush. The burning
bush sits in front of my house. It literally has 4 different things going on
with it. The first situation is that there were some branches were no leaves were
produced. The second situation that was
going on was that there were branches with leaves that produced and is thriving.
The next situation that is going on is that some leaves were thriving but are
now dead. And the last situation was one
in which some of the Leaves had started turning their burgundy color as if fall
was approaching already. I decided to cut
off the dead withered leaves.
She brought it to my attention that it could be a perfect illustration
for our lives. Here is what God gave me as a lesson from the burning bush. There
are certain areas of our lives that are dead. They need to be cut out. The second lesson is
that there are some areas in our lives where we are trying to move too fast instead
of going through the process that God has for us. This could be due to seeing
others thriving and excelling in their businesses etc. The 3rd lesson from the burning bush is that
there are some areas in our lives that are right on target and maturing properly.
The last lesson from the burning bush is that there are areas of our lives where
immaturity exists, and therefore, there is no growth at all. These are the
areas that God wants to prune so that we can produce fruit and continue to grow.
Which one of these lessons do you identify with? I’m quite
sure that we can find a little bit of ourselves in each one of them. Let’s be
mindful of the areas that need growth, areas that are moving too fast, areas
that are dead, and the areas that are growing in maturity in Christ just fine.
Thank you for listening to “Healing Our Brokenness, episode
42, “Lessons from the Vine”. God bless
and have a wonderful week!
Episode 41: Fear in Control Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
00:00 / 00:10:47
Fear in Control Outline
How Fear took over in my life.
Repetition of Satan’s Tactics.
Good afternoon! Welcome to “Healing our Brokenness”, Episode 41, entitled “Fear in Control”. How many of you have dealt with fear? How did it make you feel? Was your heart racing? Did you feel like you were losing your mind? Was your body shaking?
What is fear? Fear is
when we are perceiving something as a threat or danger to us. If you have dealt with any kind of trauma, or
have PTSD, you know that the fear part of the brain can get triggered. And then when this happens, All reasoning goes
out the door. We know what we know, but
because the fear brain has taken over, we cannot stop it. What happens is that
while the fear brain is in control, you become keenly aware that the fear is
irrational and needs to stop. You literally feel as if someone is behind you
and after you at the same time. I have experienced this several times. When it
happens, I usually get praise music in my head to let me know that I am OK. However,
I cannot stop the process of what the fear brain of PTSD / trauma is doing. It
has a mind of its own so to speak. No
amount of talking myself down helps me to calm down. I know that I just have to
wait it out.
When we think of dread it does not bring about a good
connotation. Dread makes you think of something awful taking place, another
form of extreme fear within itself. When
I was in my 20s, and I found myself having a health crisis, my life was filled with
fear that was out of control, and daily battles of dread of dying because of my
health. I am allowed Satan to get the best of me in my thoughts, and in my
spirit. Every day, as I waited for my thyroid condition to improve, Satan had
me trapped in a foot hold of fear and dread about me possibly going into
cardiac arrest and dying before getting to the point of feeling better.
What made it worse is that i was suffering from an extreme lack
of sleep. When you are going without
sleep for so long, it puts you quickly in a category for having a lot of other
things to take place. And some of those things include mental health issues, nervous
system issues, focusing issues, brain fog, and the inability to cope in
general. My lack of sleep coupled with dealing with trying to get my thyroid
under control for months made me the perfect bait for Satan to get a foothold.
And what were his lies? His lies were “This is it. You are
not going to make it”. Then after a while, I realized that I had gone about 6
months feeding into this mess. I have wasted all of the time that could have
been used enjoying myself locked into fear of dying.
As Christians, we are not exempt from dealing temptation and
spiritual warfare. We have God’s
promises even when we don’t feel like they are true or that he hears us or even
that he is near to us.
Hear are some scriptures to help you during times of fear
that I am currently implementing as I walk through releasing fear in certain areas
of my life:
13 I can do
all things through [a]Christ
who strengthens me.
Please cover us in your blood from the crown of our heads to the
soul of our feet. Please help us to know
that you are near. You are the same God
in every area of our lives, including fear.
Help us to remember this, even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. I pray for a covering of hope, love, and peace.
In your name,
Thank you for listening to Healing our Brokenness, episode 41 entitled
“Fear in Control”.
Episode 38: Grace and Truth Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Would you consider yourself a person of grace and truth, or a person of just truth? What is the difference? Find out by listening to today’s podcast to see what happens when we have one without the other. Remember to catch up on last week’s episode here first.
Relationships are hard. It doesn’t matter whether it’s family,
friends, or coworkers, it can be challenging. One thing about relationships is that they
require time, energy, grace, and love.
When disagreements arise, and they will, we can be so intent on wanting
to be right, that we can damage the relationship even more.
God tells us in his word: “And
you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32,
NLT) We shouldn’t be foolish, and pretend that the truth doesn’t matter. When
we ignore the truth, we train our minds and bodies to slowly downplay the cues
they tell us that signify something is wrong.
Only applying the truth can also bring in legalism. Because God gives us grace, we are able to
extend grace to others. Only applying
grace without truth and boundaries leads to being taken advantage of, an out of
control situation, and the other person constantly pressing the envelope to see
how far they can go. “Then we will no
longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind
of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will
in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.” (Ephesians
individuals in my own life who have hurt me dearly. I cannot ignore the revelation of truth that
healing has brought me. At the same
time, if I focused only on the truth of these situations, it would make my
heart bitter. The truth is, we are all
broken individuals, and since we are all broken individuals, we all have sin in
our lives. If it weren’t for God’s mercy
in eliminating certain people and things from my life, I could very well have
gone down that path. Offering grace and
truth to people doesn’t mean restoration of the relationship. It could mean grieving what is no longer
there, acceptance, and the ability to move on.
We thank you
for the relationships that you have blessed us with. We pray that you would give us discernment
when it comes to applying grace and truth in difficult situations. Please help us to understand that we are all
broken individuals in need of a Savior.