Episode 45: Be Still: The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma

emotional health, mental health, stillness, calmness, serenity,psychology, physical health, Peace, flowers, PTSD, trauma, healing, brokenness, emotional overload, body-mind connection, katina horton, podcaster, podcasting, lifestyle, author, writer, dissociation

Episode 45: Be Still: The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma
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Be Still Podcast Outline

  • Definition of Still
  • Definition of Know
  • Dissection of Psalm 46: 10
  • What Happens With the Combo of Trauma and Constant Busyness
emotional health, mental health, stillness, calmness, serenity,psychology, physical health, Peace, flowers, PTSD, trauma, healing, brokenness, emotional overload, body-mind connection, katina horton, podcaster, podcasting, lifestyle, author, writer, dissociation
Photo by Fabio Manuel Neto da luz

Podcast Transcript:

Good afternoon! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness, episode 45, Entitled, “Be Still:” The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma on a Daily Basis”

What does it mean to be still?

Being still means without movement, without speech, calm, peaceful, serene.

I like to think of stillness as the act of eliminating busyness and distractions.

In Psalm 46: 10, God tells us, “Be still and know that I am God.”

To know means to be aware of through information and observation.  For us to know something or someone, we must spend time with that person or learning about that topic. If we want to know God, we must quiet our spirits, stop the striving, distractions, busyness, and do what is required to be in a relationship with him. If we want to heal from trauma, we also need a stillness to exist.

This stillness required from healing that helps us to know about our mind and body connection, can only happen when we purposefully have 2 things: time and space.

When we are busy every minute of the day, we don’t have time to know our bodies. Our bodies reveal the secrets behind our emotions.  Just recently, and recently being about 3 months ago, I started working a full-time job. After a month, I realized that I needed to tweak my schedule for the weekend.  I had to block out 3 hours on my weekend mornings in order to make sure that I could continue having my time of stillness. Without stillness, it is hard to gain clarity.

Before working full time, I had more time and space for this stillness to occur. Now, since my schedule has changed, i must be more intentional about giving myself margin.

Right before starting work with this job, I had a traumatic event to occur. Along with learning new things at work, and relearning how to drive after 30 years, I was exhibiting “ADHD-like” trauma symptoms, and having a hard time focusing.  I knew that it was only a matter of time till the emotional effects of this event would come out. My system had to be relaxed enough with stillness, and time and space to go through the steps of processing everything that had gone down.

The first symptom that was exhibited was that of nausea. I knew immediately that this was grief. And how was I able to tell that? Four years ago, when I was living at my previous residence , I became very nauseated one evening after eating.  It was the worst case ever.  I thought that I was coming down with the flu or some type of virus. It was also during this time that I had not begun to process any of the traumatic events that had occurred in the previous 3 years.  My system was on emotional and mental overload.

All of a sudden, before I knew it, I ended up regurgitating 3 to 4 times. In between each time, I felt like I needed to cry very deeply. This is how I was able to make the connection that nausea for me equals the need for grief to be released from my body.  At the time, my son asked me about the contents of what I ate that could have made me so sick. I told him that I realized that it had nothing to do with the food that I ate.

When I told my therapist about what happened, she said, “Yes, this was definitely physiological.”  

Another symptom that occurred recently is where my lips started to become numb.  I knew immediately that this represented anger that I needed to work through.  Once again, if I did not have the time within the last few years to process some of the trauma, I would not have had a clue of what was going on.  I probably would have gotten myself all worked up and anxious, perpetuating the problem.

I was then able to go to God and ask him, “What is this anger about? Is it just this traumatic event, or something else along with it?”. Having my time of stillness, and space for reflection allowed me to get to the root of the problem so that I could start healing from, it.   That anger had been coming out sideways for about 2 1/2 weeks.

Music is one of my main go-to’s for enabling me to process trauma , and so when I added more of this into my time and space, I gained even more wisdom and discernment , along with being able to release the grief from my system through crying heavily.

Changes are good.  However, changes are only fully embraced once the old has been grieved. All of the “would haves”, “should haves”, and “not any more’s”. If you are having problems healing from trauma, ask yourself if you are allowing yourself the time and space of sitting in God’s stillness.  The pain, loneliness, and loss have to be grieved. I don’t want to mislead you. There will be pain in this process. There’s no way to go around it. And I promise you, if there was, everyone would be signing up for it. There is God’s grace, mercy, and presence there.  And it is very much needed. It is also in this stillness that our mind, body, soul, and spirit will begin to reveal the answers to our questions. It will help us to lead the way and or continue our journey to a life of thriving.

First, try starting off with one hour of lying down without any distractions and see if you can notice the difference of what this new stillness brings. Initially, it will feel very uncomfortable because you will want to quickly fill up your time with busyness. However, this quiet time will begin to declutter your mind and allow you to get to the root of your issues, along with the help a therapist.

I hope that “Episode 45: ‘Be Still: The Healing Aspect Of Living With Trauma’” has been beneficial to you in some way. If Healing Our Brokenness is making a difference in your life, please leave a review, tag a friend, and give a shout out on social media. God bless! Have a wonderful week!

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Recovery

Background on Recovery: When you are recovering from PTSD/trauma, it requires a lot of in-depth work. This poem depicts just that. You have to regain your sense of self, learn to listen to your body for its story, and be still with patience as God does his work.

recovery, discovery, mind body connection, psychology, PTSD, trauma, emotional health, mental health, physical health, spiritual health, brokenness, healing
Photo by Burst by Shopify

Recovery

It’s recovery. It’s recovery.

It requires lots of discovery.

What I think.

What I feel.

What my body tells me is real.

I’ll be still.

Know he’s God.

Do the work.

Though it’s hard.

It’s recovery. It’s recovery.

God is there.

In this discovery.

The Music Aspect: Living With & Healing From Trauma

trauma, music aspect, living with trauma on a daily basis, healing, music, church, loudness, softness, music therapy, PTSD, psychology, mental health, emotional health

Today, I am featuring another aspect in the “Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis” series. This aspect is that of music. Music can have several effects. It can make you go from feeling relaxed to nervous, anxious, and scared, and then switch over to anger, frustration, and sadness in a heartbeat.

trauma, music aspect, living with trauma on a daily basis, healing, music, church, loudness, softness, music therapy, PTSD, psychology, mental health, emotional health
Photo by Samantha Hurley

Whether you are suffering with trauma/PTSD or not, listening to music can take you back to twenty years of memories that can feel like it was yesterday. Our emotions get stirred, and if we are not careful, we can start riding the waves. You can start thinking about old relationships and all sorts of things.

When it comes to music and PTSD, it can be both a good and bad thing, depending upon the situation. If the music is loud and harsh, with screaming involved, it can cause you to have the trauma symptoms of irritation, dissociation, and anxiety.

Unfortunately, I have experienced all of these. About five years ago, my son was listening to some metal Christian music. I had to ask him to turn it down, then off. It was just too much. The screaming caused the Fear Aspect of Trauma to settle in. I started to feel unsettled in my spirit, along with feeling agitation and anxiousness.

Whether you are listening to loud or soft music, if you haven’t processed memories that are associated with a particular song, you may not be able to tolerate that song or style of music for a while. You’ll usually know if you can tolerate the song/style because you will be able to listen to it without any problems. If the song is intolerable, you usually end up with bad flashbacks or dissociation.

Just recently, I realized that I am fully able to enjoy gospel music again. Starting in 2013, it became hit or miss. Gospel music is associated with attending a missionary baptist church as a kid, leading the choir with my ex-husband, praise dancing, and my roots in general. In order for me to truly appreciate it again, I had to process the important events that this genre held close to my heart. The events weren’t just from one particular time period. They were spread across years.

Recently, my friend invited me to two gospel concerts she performed in. I felt like I was back in the church that I attended as a kid. I knew that this genre had helped me to place the piece of puzzle of my identity in this area back to where it belonged.

Music from the 70s and 80s is also some of my favorites. When I listen to this music, it causes ambivalence. Why? This time period represents a life of simpler times. I have relatives that were alive then, and no longer alive. Community was food, dancing, talking, and enjoying one another’s company. Sometimes, I find myself dancing and crying at the same time.

The more I listen to it, the better it gets. However, I still have moments of extreme grief from trauma, as well as joy at the same time because these memories will forever be in my heart.

How has the music aspect affected your PTSD? Would love to hear your thoughts!

It’s Your Calling

calling, resistance, simple functional grace-filled living, redemption, trauma, ptsd, anxiety, leaving Egypt behind, freedom, thriving

Why are we so afraid to step into our calling? There are various reasons. However, when we see and feel the freedom that it brings, we will wonder why we ever resisted displaying and embracing that irresistible mission.

It’s your Calling

calling, resistance, simple functional grace-filled living, redemption, trauma, ptsd, anxiety, leaving Egypt behind, freedom, thriving
photo by Sarah Pflug

It’s Your Calling, It’s Your Calling.

It’s God Sent.

Why are you stalling?

Your Life’s Traumas will not be wasted.

The end product cannot be hasted.

It’s your calling, It’s your calling.

Leave Egypt behind.

Forget its hauling.

Episode 29: The Power of God

podcaster, podcasting, power of God, broke down car, simple functional grace-filled living, katina horton, healing our brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, brokenness, ptsd, divorce, marriage, breakdown, anxiety, ptsd

Episode 29: The Power of God
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The Power of God Podcast Outline:

  • Dissection of Relationships and Our Brokenness
  • My Witness to the Power of God
  • Saul’s Witness to the Power of God
  • Podcast Transcript
podcaster, podcasting, power of God, broke down car, simple functional grace-filled living, katina horton, healing our brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, brokenness, ptsd, divorce, marriage, breakdown, anxiety, ptsd
Photo by Rodolfo Clix on Pexels.com

Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness Episode 29: The Power of God. Have you ever seen the Power of God in your life? Well, today I am going to give two examples of his power at work. First of all, let’s do some a little dissection.

Dissection of Relationships and Our Brokenness

Whether we are at church, work, or in our neighborhoods, it is important to cultivate relationships with people. Sometimes, in the process of doing this, people become jealous, or they turn on us for no reason. If there is a reason, it is one that doesn’t make sense to us.


However, since we are all broken, we all do things that are characteristic of our sin nature. In a few of these instances, there are times when the people who turn on us are toxic, and the best thing to do is to setup boundaries. In many cases, this may involve little to no contact at all. Prayer from a distance is the best way to go.

My Witness to the Power of God


When I was going through my divorce, my ex-husband’s behavior got so out of control and toxic, that I had to setup a boundary that he could not come back to our marital residence to visit the kids for some months. They could walk out to the car to go with him.

However, that was the extent of it. What led to this decision? His behavior was so out of control during one particular visit, that it cut through my soul and crushed my spirit. It was also during this time that my grandmother was dying in the hospital. I ended up having an emotional breakdown of sorts and was hanging on by a thread.

All correspondence was done via email for a while. What I didn’t find out until later from my son, is that he had decided he was going to come in anyway. However, as the Lord would have it, the first time that he attempted this, his car broke down. Every time that he decided that he wouldn’t follow the paperwork from the court for his financial obligations, his car would break down. My friend joked with me and said that she would never
cross me. I said, ” Why?” Her response was that once I started praying things happened.

Saul’s Witness to the Power of God


Saul became jealous of David because the women sang songs about how David had slain ten thousands and Saul had slain thousands. Saul’s anger got so out of control, that he decided that he would kill David. He sent his messengers ahead of him to find out his exact location.


As God would have it, his messengers ended up prophesying. They entered the place where Samuel and his prophets were praying and prophesying, and God caused this to happen to them. Saul sent messengers out two more times. The same thing happened. Finally, he went himself, and God caused him to be filled with the prophesying spirit. This was done long enough for David to escape.


When David had fled and made his escape, he went to Samuel at Ramah and told him all that Saul had done to him. Then he and Samuel went to Naioth and stayed there. Word came to Saul: “David is in Naioth at Ramah”; so he sent men to capture him. But when they saw a group of prophets prophesying, with Samuel standing there as their leader, the Spirit of God came on Saul’s men, and they also prophesied. Saul was told about it, and he sent more men, and they prophesied too. Saul sent men a third time, and they also prophesied. Finally, he himself left for Ramah and went to the great cistern at Seku. And he asked, “Where are Samuel and David?”

“Over in Naioth at Ramah,” they said.
So Saul went to Naioth at Ramah. But the Spirit of God came even on him, and he walked along prophesying until he came to Naioth. He stripped off his garments, and he too prophesied in Samuel’s presence. He lay naked all that day and all that night. This is why people say, “Is Saul also among the prophets?”


Talk about the power of God moving! When we do the praying, God does the acting.

Prayer:


Dear God,

We thank you for your grace. Thank you for having our backs when we are literally up against the wall from our enemies. Please help us to remember to set boundaries and pray when we are surrounded by toxic people.

In your name,
Amen

Episode 28: Bad Advice

Episode 27: Simply Grace

recipes, healthy eating, poetry, poems, healing, brokenness, PTSD, trauma, abuse, katina horton, author, poet, healing our brokenness, episode 27

Episode 27: Simply Grace
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In case you missed our last episode, “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 2”, you can find that episode here. Today’s episode, Episode 27, is entitled Simply Grace. I hope that you enjoy this special poetry reading.

  • Simply Grace Podcast Outline:
  • Introduction
  • Dissection of Topics and Reading of Poetry
  • Closing Remarks
  • Show Transcript
recipes, healthy eating, poetry, poems, healing, brokenness, PTSD, trauma, abuse, katina horton, author, poet, healing our brokenness, episode 27

Welcome to the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Episode 27: Simply Grace.  The intro and ending song that you hear on the podcast is entitled “Valley of Grace” and is song by Timothy Horton.  Today is a special episode.  Why is that?  I will be ready poetry from a book that I published back in February entitled, “Simply Grace”.  It is available on Amazon.  Simply Grace is a compilation of simple, healthy recipes that are mostly non-meat, along with poetry that tackles tough issues that we face every day.  However, these issues are seasoned with grace.  I deal with truth, so that the truth brings healing.  We are set free by true.  I also deal with raw emotions.

The first poem, entitled “The Quench” deals with Approval Addiction/Perfectionism/People Pleasing:

Reading of the poem

The next poem, entitled “The Source of Self-Worth” dissects our need for self-worth, and not just the need, but the struggle to get it from things, rather than the main source.

Reading of the poem

The next poem, entitled” Coat of Favor” deals with the Life of Joseph, his trials, and his redemption.

Reading of the Poem

Have you ever taken matters into your own hands, instead of waiting on God?  The next poem deals with just that.  It is entitled, “Oh, The Pain of Waiting”.

Reading of the Poem

For those of us who have been through abuse, we must relearn what love is.  That is what” Abide My Love, Dance with Me” is all about: God’s love poured out on me to reshape my thoughts on abuse.  Secondly, it describes how I danced with my Heavenly Father during a period of trials and financial despair, and how God “showed me his back” as his showed Moses, so to speak, by allowing me to feel his presence for several hours.

Reading of the Poem

The last poem, “I am the Vine, And So Is It Time?” deals with a combination of things:  the Crucifixion of Jesus on the Cross, John 15, and the Clematis vine that I attempted to tie to the trellis last spring as I was getting bit by mosquitos.  The first time that I attempted this adventure, there were too many mosquitos out.   The second and final time I was finally able to do it.  However, just within the few days of break in between, the clematis vine had completely wrapped itself around one of the heucheras.  It was a wonderful way to see the scriptures in action.

Reading of the Poem

Thank you for listening to Episode 27: Simply Grace, and if you are enjoying the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast, please recommend a friend, share on social media, and/or subscribe to hear us on Youtube, Itunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and Spotify.  You can also listen to us on the blog.

God bless!! Until Next time!

Episode 25: The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1

emotional health, ptsd, trauma, mental health, sin, cynicism, mockery, scornful, katina horton, healing, spiritual health, podcaster, author, author life, blogger

Episode 25: The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1
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Hello everyone! I have a new podcast episode over on the blog. Just in case you missed the last episode, you can find that one here. Today’s podcast episode is entitled, “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1”. My podcast is now available on YouTube. Click here to subscribe to my YouTube Channel for podcast episodes.

emotional health, ptsd, trauma, mental health, sin, cynicism, mockery, scornful, katina horton, healing, spiritual health, podcaster, author, author life, blogger
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

The Sin of Cynicism Podcast Outline

  • Definition of Cynicism
  • Factors that Predispose Us for Cynicism
  • Abuse and Cynicism
  • Podcast Transcript

Good evening!  Welcome to the Healing Our Brokenness Podcast.  Today’s recording is Episode 25: “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1”

Definition of Cynicism

Cynicism is the process of being a scorner, doubter, scoffer, having paranoia, mistrust, and skepticism about things.  Everyone is cynical at one time or another, however, cynicism becomes a concern when it gets in the way of life’s joys for us, other people being around us, and it is labeled as part of our brokenness.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

(Psalm 1:1)

Factors that Predispose Us for Cynicism

There are several factors that make up the reasons for one adopting cynicism as part of their lifestyle:

  • You have experienced a lot of issues with betrayal.
  • There are historical patterns of things not working out in your favor, or working out in a way that is undesirable to you.
  • You get to the point of seeing too much and hearing too much to think that things will be different.
  • Most of the people that you trusted let you down.
  • The few times that you thought things would turn out good, they turned out bad, and you lost faith in believing that things could be different.

Whatever, the case may be, from the outside looking in, it is easy to be judgmental to something we don’t understand.  It is not a license for us to commit the sin.  However, empathy helps us to understand that the sin of cynicism is just like having any other sin.   It becomes addictive, spreads like a disease, creates negativity, and begs for more.

After having to deal with a divorce from a toxic individual, I experienced some cynicism creeping in.  As a matter of fact, I had someone to mention it to me.  It made me become more aware of when I was allowing it to get a foothold. 

Abuse and Cynicism

I have also noticed that when individuals have been abused, and the abuser has run an all-out smear campaign packed with lies against the victim , and then brainwashes, and pulls in the victim’s family, it becomes the perfect tool for Satan to intertwine inside this person as a stronghold, rather than just a phase of grief. 

The individual starts to believe that no one can be trusted.  We know that this isn’t true.  However, when we are in pain, we often shake hands with Satan for all kinds of addictions and coping mechanisms to cover up our hurt.

We can vacillate from one end of the spectrum to another.  Either we are too trusting, or we distrust everyone.

Trust takes a while to gain.  When trust is broken through lies and betrayal, we are left with the thoughts in our minds that everyone will do the same thing that this person or persons did to us.

Replacing our pain and hurt with healing is the hard, but fruitful way out of cynicism.  But as with any coping mechanism, what we have allowed to go on for so long becomes part of our normal and dysfunctional patterns of behavior.

When things aren’t happening our way, in our will, and in our timing, we trade whole faith and God’s promises for broken pieces of cynicism.

I want to leave you with some bible verses to help you if the sin of cynicism is a part of your brokenness:

Romans 11 English Standard Version (ESV)

The Remnant of Israel

11 I ask, then, has God rejected his people? By no means! For I myself am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham,[a] a member of the tribe of Benjamin. God has not rejected his people whom he foreknew. Do you not know what the Scripture says of Elijah, how he appeals to God against Israel? “Lord, they have killed your prophets, they have demolished your altars, and I alone am left, and they seek my life.” But what is God’s reply to him? “I have kept for myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal.” So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.

The Example of Christ-Romans 15: 1-7

15 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

Thank you for listening to Episode 25 of Healing Our Brokenness:  “The Sin of Cynicism-Part 1”.  Remember if this podcast is making a difference in your life, recommend a friend for listening.  Thanks, and have a beautifully blessed weekend!

Episode 23: Sabotaging Our Healing

sabotaging our healing, brokenness, psychology, emotional health, psychological health, spiritual health, character development, trauma, ptsd, podcaster, katina horton, author, podcasting, simple functional grace-filled living, valley of grace, broken pieces, Teachable Course

Episode 23: Sabotaging Our Healing
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Sabotaging Our Healing Podcast Outline

  • Sabotage Our Healing with Busyness and Instability
  • Sabotaging Our Healing by Allowing Shame and Perception Of Others to Reign
  • Sabotaging Our Healing by Surrounding Ourselves with Clutter
  • Lastly, we Sabotage Our Healing by Refusing to Do What We’re Told
  • Podcast Transcript

Good morning!  Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness.  And today we are recording Episode 23:  Sabotaging Our Healing.  When we think of the word sabotage, it suggests the following: “getting in the way, damaging, intentionally interrupting, preventing something from taking place.  When we think of sabotaging our healing, it means that we are harming or preventing ourselves from healing.  Since the rewards of healing is astronomical, why would we want to prevent ourselves from doing it?  There are several reasons why:

  • We’re afraid to face the pain.
  • We don’t want the work.
  • We don’t want to use our free time to do it.
  • We really don’t want to be free because we have been in bondage for so long, and so, the bondage that we know is better than the freedom that we don’t.

sabotaging our healing, brokenness, psychology, emotional health, psychological health, spiritual health, character development, trauma, ptsd, podcaster, katina horton, author, podcasting, simple functional grace-filled living, valley of grace, broken pieces, Teachable Course
Photo by Francesco Paggiaro on Pexels.com

There are several ways that we sabotage our healing:

 

  1. Sabotage Our Healing with Busyness and Instability- We will fill our days up from morning till night being busy so that we don’t have to sit long enough to feel.  If we work outside the home, we spend hours shopping after work before going home.  If we work inside the home, we make sure that we are busy from morning to night.  We think that we can outsmart our mind and emotions.  I have been guilty of doing this one myself.  What I noticed is that one of three things usually happen.

Situation 1:  When we finally lay down to go to bed, our minds are going 100 mph with anxiety.  We start going over all the things that we did during the day.  The feelings start coming up.  Our past starts knocking on our door.  Unhealed brokenness starts bleeding out.  Obtrusive thoughts start settling in.  Then, we end up not being able to go to sleep for several hours because our minds are trying to process everything that we didn’t allow it to process during the day.  Several days of this can turn into weeks, and then weeks into months.  And if we didn’t have trauma before, there is definitely a chance of developing it then.  We can only go so many days like this.  Our bodies can’t sustain this lifestyle without breaking down.

Situation 2:  We conk out as soon as our heads hit the pillow.  Because we haven’t processed anything, we are running on empty in every area.  We keep putting off dealing with certain things until they are a must.  And when we have to deal with it, we end up shutting down, or having a complete emotional meltdown/tantrum.  This can play out at work, school, home, church wherever.

When we are on emotional and mental overload, there is no way to control when and where it will come out.  Even now, I have to remind myself to take a break from work and give myself thirty minutes to lay down and think about nothing.  This became an issue for me after the trauma that occurred within the last seven years.  Believe it or not, as soon as I begin to relax, I can feel emotions coming up.  I also like to have reflection time in the morning when I wake up.  If I am in a rush and have to leave out an emotional mess from backed up grief, my emotions only intensify as the day goes on.

Situation 3:  We become consistently inconsistent at everything.  Lack of structure gets in the way of our healing.  When we are all over the place, our minds are all over the place, and then our lives and relationships are all over the place.

 

  1. Sabotaging Our Healing by Allowing Shame and Perception Of Others to Reign-This is also one that I am guilty of having to watch myself. If I allow my brokenness of perfectionism and the shame that it’s friends with to kick in, I am more tempted to want to hold off sharing with my life-giving friends or therapist about what is going on now, or a situation that happened in the past.

 

I get caught up wondering what the person will think of me, how I will be perceived, and the list goes on and on.  I also get caught up in wondering whether or not I will possibly “lose it” and have an “ugly face” cry in front of others.  I have to remind myself that these are safe people, and if I cry, so what!  I ‘m human.  We’re all broken.  Satan will try whatever way that he can to discourage us from being vulnerable.  Vulnerability in a safe environment with time and space chips away the stone of shame.

 

  1. Sabotaging Our Healing by Surrounding Ourselves with Clutter-We fill up every knick and cranny of our homes and our cars with clutter.  It prevents us from being able to gain clarity about anything.  It prevents us from having structure and space to feel.  We also have problems making decisions because the clutter is serving as an emotional pacifier.  As soon as the clutter starts being lifted, then we can be tempted to go back again.  Our addictions take the place of feeling the hurt and pain that we are holding keeping at bay.  Being surrounded by excessive clutter takes the place of being able to dig into our feelings.  Therefore, we often go back to our addictions.  The pain becomes too much to bear.  And instead of pressing in, we press out to comfort.

 

  1. Lastly, we Sabotage Our Healing by Refusing to Do What We’re Told-If our therapists, coaches, friends, pastors, or others give us godly counsel in regard to our behavior, we have already come up with 50 excuses as to why we can’t begin to make changes.  We are intent on doing it the way that we want to do it.  However, nine times out of ten, our way isn’t going to work.  If it was, we would have started making changes.

 

Naaman went to see Elisha in order to be healed from leprosy.  He almost sabotaged his own healing because he didn’t want to do what he was told.  He wanted Elisha to come out and do a powerful healing ceremony.  He thought that he was “too good” to stoop to Elisha’s healing instructions.  Elisha instructed him to wash in the Jordan seven times.  He finally did it, with some prodding from his servant.  But, he definitely wasn’t happy about it.

2 Kings 5

So Naaman went with his horses and chariots and stopped at the door of Elisha’s house. 10 Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, “Go, wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed.”

11 But Naaman went away angry and said, “I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy. 12 Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Couldn’t I wash in them and be cleansed?” So he turned and went off in a rage.

13 Naaman’s servants went to him and said, “My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, ‘Wash and be cleansed’!” 14 So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy.

 

Naaman almost missed out on his healing because he wanted it “his way”.  What happens when we want things our way?  We miss out on everything God has to offer and more.  God uses wise people to lead us to make wise decisions.  However, he will not beg us to do our part.

 

So, what is the solution to combatting sabotage?  Desiring a life that thrives over a life of stagnancy.   No one can give us the desire and motivation to heal.  Unfortunately, there is no magic formula.  The comfort is that Jesus will be there with us in the fire.  We can teach our kids and leave a legacy behind that stops the generational sins of our fathers.

 

God bless!  Thanks for listening to Episode 23:  Sabotaging Our Healing

 

 

 

 

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If you are ready to heal from Trauma or Any Brokenness, and you are tired of the Sabotage Cycle, check out brokenpieces.teachable.com for Two Courses:  Broken Pieces:  From Survival Mode to the Life of Thriving & De-Clutter Your Home, De-Clutter Your Mind, and De-Clutter Your Life

 

Last podcast episode:

 

Opposition Against Your Calling

 

 

Refusal to Heal

healing, refusal to heal, brokenness, sin, emotional health, ptsd, trauma, mental health, priorities, course, road, katina horton, author, poet, poetry, blogger

Background on Refusal to Heal

This poem reflects the struggle that lies within all of us when it comes to healing.  We all have the potential.  However, healing involves doing.  Which path will we choose?

healing, refusal to heal, brokenness, sin, emotional health, ptsd, trauma, mental health, priorities, course, road, katina horton, author, poet, poetry, blogger
Photo by Pedro Sandrini on Pexels.com

 

“Time to heal. Time to heal.

Though it may not be a thrill.”

 

No, I’ll stay busy.

I will avoid.

I won’t get help.

My soul’s annoyed.

 

It’s your decision.

There is no force.

Whatever you choose,

You’ve set your course.

 

Just as a reminder,

There is no win.

When you know good to do,

And ignore it,

Then it becomes sin.

 

 

 

 

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.  James 4: 17

 

Other poems:

Opening the Trust Door

Disappointments

Opening the Trust Door

trust, emotional health, ptsd, mental health, psychology, blog, blogging, belief, healing, brokenness, thriving, opening the door

We have all had trust issues at one time or another.  These issues usually stem from experiencing hurt from the people that are closest to us.  The poem “Opening the Trust Door” portrays a dialog that occurs between us and God.  God is the only one that can heal our issues with trust.  That is, if we invite him in.

trust, emotional health, ptsd, mental health, psychology, blog, blogging, belief, healing, brokenness, thriving, opening the door
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Should I trust again?

Do I let people in?

Will they bring me more pain?

Or, stand with me in the rain?

 

Do I stay in the cave?

Where it’s dark, but feels safe?

Or, do I walk out and thrive?

And thank God I’m alive.

 

If I open the gate,

Will there be much more hate?

 

“If you let me come in,

We’ll be more than just friends.”