The story of Leah and Rachel is one that we can all relate to in life: the comparison trap.  Their trap probably started at a young age, and unfortunately went into adulthood.  Sometimes as parents we have to be extra careful not to be the catalyst for this type of thing happening.  The sad reality of their family dysfunction showed that they were filled with constant thoughts of “let me see how I can one up you.” Round one began with “I’ll take your man”.  Round two began with, ” I can have more kids than you”.  This trap affects both men and women alike, and it ruins families, friendships, and work relationships.  The comparison trap has several things that lie at the root.  The three that God has spoken to me about are rejection, self-worth, and contentment. 

When we read the story of Leah and Rachel, there are several things that we can directly and indirectly perceive.  The first thing perceived is that beauty and popularity won hearts.  People often shy away from us when we don’t fit into their standard for beauty, dress, hairstyle, etc.   If this is our area of brokenness, not fitting into someone else’s standards could lead to insecurity and internalization as rejection.  There are two sections of verses that tell us that one of Leah’s issues was rejection.  Here is the first:

Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.  Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful.  Genesis 29:16-17, NIV

The second section of scripture tells us about why Leah became fruitful right away:

³⁰ And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.

³¹ And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren. Genesis 29:30-31, NIV

We see that self-worth comes into play because Leah mentions on more than one occasion that her husband would love her now that God had opened her womb.  We see how the phrase, “Oh, but he will love me since I’m pregnant with his child” worked out even then.  She said nothing about God loving her, and his love for her being enough.  

³² And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.

³⁴ And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi.

Genesis 29: 32, 34, KJV

In verse 35 of Genesis, it seems as though Leah has finally resolved to be content in the state that she was in:

³⁵ And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the Lord: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.  Genesis 29: 35, KJV

So we thought.  Unfortunately this was Leah’s and Rachel’s stronghold.  Right after Leah’s place of contentment, her sister Rachel can’t stand the fact that insists that Jacob sleeps with her handmaid so that she could have children, and since Leah had left child bearing, she followed suit in doing the same:

⁸ Rachel said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won!” So she named him Naphtali [My Struggle].

⁹ When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her slave Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as his wife.

Genesis 30: 8-9, GW

The vicious cycle of rejection, no self-worth, and discontentment started up again:

¹³ Leah said, “I’ve been blessed! Women will call me blessed.” So she named him Asher [Blessing]. Genesis 30:13, KJV

²⁰ And Leah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have born him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun. Genesis 30:20, KJV

Strongholds are hard to get rid of.  Like Leah, I was born with a weak eye.  I had to wear a patch over my other eye in order for my brain to train my weak eye to use itself, and prevent blindness.  I remember the whole process as being quite traumatic:  siting in doctor’s offices for 5 to 6 hours, eye exams, a patch, more eye exams, and then eye dilation, and leaving the doctor’s office.  I felt helpless as I was walking across the street with my mom, while holding her hand to wait for the bus.

Fast forward some years later, like Leah, I dealt with the feelings of rejection due to abandonment by my father, and then feelings of rejection due to the comment that another teenage girl made in response to my physical appearance.  I internalized this comment, and it was used as a tool to produce no self-worth, leading to seeking approval through high achievement in school, through others, and my ex-husband.  It also led to years of being in an emotionally abusive marriage, where I sought him for a good portion of my self-worth.  

Getting caught up in shopping and other things in order to improve my appearance, and feel like I could qualify to compete, only kept the cycle going.  There will always be someone who’s prettier, smarter, and dresses better.  We have to be safe and secure in who we are in Christ, knowing that this brings true contentment and self-worth, no matter what other people are saying or thinking.  We are all broken individuals in need of a Savior, and God loves us much more than anyone else ever could.

Dear God,

We thank you in advance for rescuing us from the comparison trap.  We also thank you that only in you, are we enough.  Otherwise, we might become filled with self-pride, criticism, and judgment.  Please help us to break free of this stronghold.

In the mighty name of Jesus,

Amen

How many of you have had times like myself, where you’ve carried around a heavy load, done all that you can do in a certain situation, prayed several times over the situation, and yet you still feel like you’re not sure of how to proceed.  You end up being stuck in between a rock and a hard place.  We know that the bottom line is that God is in control.  Even with that, sometimes our hearts still remain heavy.

This was pretty much what Hannah had to go through.  Hannah was barren, and every year when she went to give worship and sacrifice to the Lord, her husband’s other wife, Peninnah, would taunt her to the point of fear because of the fact that God had shut up her womb.  We all know that fear is from Satan himself.  

And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. ⁷ So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat.

I Samuel 1: 6-7, ESV

Hannah’s heart was so heavy, that she went before God’s throne of grace, pleading to God to open her womb:

¹¹ And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”

¹² As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth.

I Samuel 1: 11-12, ESV

Hannah was so intentional with her prayers, that her mouth moved, but her prayers were submitted to God through her heart and her spirit.  She was on a mission.  Eli the priest thought that she was drunk:

¹³ Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. ¹⁴ And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” ¹⁵ But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. ¹⁶ Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.”

I Samuel 1: 13-16, ESV

It was at this point that God gave Hannah a sign through Eli that he had heard her cry, and her prayers would be answered:

Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” ¹⁸ And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

I Samuel 1: 17, ESV

God came through as he had promised, and Hannah followed through with her promise that she had made to the Lord:

²⁴ And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. And the child was young. ²⁵ Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. ²⁶ And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. ²⁷ For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. ²⁸ Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.”

And he worshiped the Lord there.

I Samuel 1: 24-28, ESV

About six years ago, when I was at the peak of my valley, everything in my home was in an uproar.  I had done everything that I could possibly do, been taken advantage of, and with a heavy heart, I went to the Lord for help in a prostrate position.  I felt led to write out the prayer that King Jehoshaphat prayed in 2 Chronicles 20:

¹² O our God, wilt thou not judge them? for we have no might against this great company that cometh against us; neither know we what to do: but our eyes are upon thee.

God laid it upon my heart to pray this prayer for the next forty days.  As the days went on, spiritual warfare hit from every corner.  I was on a mission, and I continued to pray.  My friend and I decided to get together to pray on one accord with this same prayer New Year’s Eve night.  Our kids were upstairs hanging out, and we were downstairs praying.  The kids came downstairs a few times to grab food, and were looking at us as if we were crazy. But just like Hannah, we kept praying.  We prayed this prayer so hard and so long till our mouths dried out, and we could no longer talk.  Like Hannah, we needed an answer.  We joked around about whose prayer God would answer first.  And as in Hannah’s situation, God answered our requests.  My prayer was answered thirteen days later.  I don’t remember how quickly God answered hers.  God split the Red Sea so that I could leave Egypt.  Praise God for his word and his promises!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for your word and your promises.  Thank you that when our hearts are heavy with grief, you are still there.  You never change.  You are the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Please comfort our hearts when we just don’t know what to do, knowing that you are in control, and will give us instructions when the time is right.

In your precious name we pray,

Amen