Episode 57: Are We Expecting Too Much? Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Do you expect too much of other people? What about yourself ? Did you know that expectations are tied into limitations? In case you missed our last episode, you can catch it here: “The Gift of Limitations”. Click down below to listen to this week’s episode to see how you fit in.
What areas are you expecting too much of yourself?
What areas are you expecting too much of others?
What areas are others expecting too much of you?
How can you tie in limitations to your unreasonable expectations?
Bible Verses for Meditation:
The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”
Episode 51: I Can’t See Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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I think everyone at one time or another have had the following words to come out of their mouths, “I Can’t See”. However, what does that really mean? Well, there are several different circumstances for each of us. Listen to this week’s podcast to find out what I couldn’t see.
22 They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23 He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”
24 He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”
25 Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26 Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t even go into the village.”
Episode 45: Be Still: The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Be Still Podcast Outline
Definition of Still
Definition of Know
Dissection of Psalm 46: 10
What Happens With the Combo of Trauma and Constant Busyness
Good afternoon! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness, episode 45,
Entitled, “Be Still:” The Healing Aspect of Living with Trauma on a Daily Basis”
What does it mean to be still?
Being still means without movement, without speech, calm,
I like to think of stillness as the act of eliminating busyness
In Psalm 46: 10, God tells us, “Be still and know that I am
To know means to be aware of through information and observation. For us to know something or someone, we must
spend time with that person or learning about that topic. If we want to know
God, we must quiet our spirits, stop the striving, distractions, busyness, and
do what is required to be in a relationship with him. If we want to heal from
trauma, we also need a stillness to exist.
This stillness required from healing that helps us to know
about our mind and body connection, can only happen when we purposefully have 2
things: time and space.
When we are busy every minute of the day, we don’t have time
to know our bodies. Our bodies reveal the secrets behind our emotions. Just recently, and recently being about 3
months ago, I started working a full-time job. After a month, I realized that I
needed to tweak my schedule for the weekend. I had to block out 3 hours on my weekend
mornings in order to make sure that I could continue having my time of
stillness. Without stillness, it is hard to gain clarity.
Before working full time, I had more time and space for this
stillness to occur. Now, since my schedule has changed, i must be more
intentional about giving myself margin.
Right before starting work with this job, I had a traumatic
event to occur. Along with learning new things at work, and relearning how to
drive after 30 years, I was exhibiting “ADHD-like” trauma symptoms, and having
a hard time focusing. I knew that it was
only a matter of time till the emotional effects of this event would come out. My
system had to be relaxed enough with stillness, and time and space to go
through the steps of processing everything that had gone down.
The first symptom that was exhibited was that of nausea. I
knew immediately that this was grief. And how was I able to tell that? Four
years ago, when I was living at my previous residence , I became very nauseated
one evening after eating. It was the
worst case ever. I thought that I was
coming down with the flu or some type of virus. It was also during this time
that I had not begun to process any of the traumatic events that had occurred in
the previous 3 years. My system was on
emotional and mental overload.
All of a sudden, before I knew it, I ended up regurgitating 3
to 4 times. In between each time, I felt like I needed to cry very deeply. This
is how I was able to make the connection that nausea for me equals the need for
grief to be released from my body. At
the time, my son asked me about the contents of what I ate that could have made
me so sick. I told him that I realized that it had nothing to do with the food
that I ate.
When I told my therapist about what happened, she said, “Yes,
this was definitely physiological.”
Another symptom that occurred recently is where my lips started
to become numb. I knew immediately that
this represented anger that I needed to work through. Once again, if I did not have the time within
the last few years to process some of the trauma, I would not have had a clue of
what was going on. I probably would have
gotten myself all worked up and anxious, perpetuating the problem.
I was then able to go to God and ask him, “What is this
anger about? Is it just this traumatic event, or something else along with it?”.
Having my time of stillness, and space for reflection allowed me to get to the
root of the problem so that I could start healing from, it. That anger had been coming out sideways for about
2 1/2 weeks.
Music is one of my main go-to’s for enabling me to process
trauma , and so when I added more of this into my time and space, I gained even
more wisdom and discernment , along with being able to release the grief from
my system through crying heavily.
Changes are good. However,
changes are only fully embraced once the old has been grieved. All of the “would
haves”, “should haves”, and “not any more’s”. If you are having problems
healing from trauma, ask yourself if you are allowing yourself the time and
space of sitting in God’s stillness. The
pain, loneliness, and loss have to be grieved. I don’t want to mislead you. There
will be pain in this process. There’s no way to go around it. And I promise
you, if there was, everyone would be signing up for it. There is God’s grace,
mercy, and presence there. And it is
very much needed. It is also in this stillness that our mind, body, soul, and
spirit will begin to reveal the answers to our questions. It will help us to
lead the way and or continue our journey to a life of thriving.
First, try starting off with one hour of lying down without
any distractions and see if you can notice the difference of what this new
stillness brings. Initially, it will feel very uncomfortable because you will
want to quickly fill up your time with busyness. However, this quiet time will
begin to declutter your mind and allow you to get to the root of your issues, along
with the help a therapist.
I hope that “Episode 45: ‘Be Still: The Healing Aspect Of
Living With Trauma’” has been beneficial to you in some way. If Healing Our
Brokenness is making a difference in your life, please leave a review, tag a
friend, and give a shout out on social media. God bless! Have a wonderful week!
Episode 43: The Big “D” Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Have you ever been divorced? Do you know of someone who has been divorced? When you found out that this person was divorced, did you treat them differently? Today’s podcast is entitled, “The Big “D”, and that “D” stands for divorce. Click above to listen to the latest podcast episode.
It has been said that divorce is worse than death. There was a time when the word divorce was taboo. Older television shows reflect these ideas. When children mentioned that their friends’ parents were getting divorced, they were shushed by their parents, and/or the parents came up with an excuse as to why Johnny or Susan couldn’t play at the neighbors’ house anymore. They were outcasts.
Prior to getting divorced, I heard
someone use the phrases “It’s no big deal.
People get divorced every day.”
This is true. However, what is
also true is that you don’t have people lined up to tell you the real impact
from divorce. Divorce leaves lifelong
effects in every area: financially,
emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. Basically, there is no table left
Grief experienced from divorce can be
draining. With this pain, you must
grieve the loss of the marriage, the loss of the family as a unit, and then
grieve that part of your identity that is being taken away. There is no magic formula for the intensity
of the pain or the amount of time that it will take to heal. My grief so far tends to run in spurts. The grief might be off and on all day for
three weeks, and then there is a month break before it starts up again. I have had other women tell me that theirs
was every day for two hours for the length of anywhere from two to five years.
There are some individuals who have
gotten divorced because of severe abuse that has gone on for years. In Malachi 2:16, we are told, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for
one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye
deal not treacherously.” (NASB)
It is possible for God to heal marriages from
any situation, even the ones listed above.
However, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that one person can
fix the whole marriage. As individuals,
we can only do our part. We cannot be
the Holy Spirit for others. I am a
planner. I like organizing, analyzing,
and figuring things out. I thought that
if I could just do A, B, and C, things would be fine. If things weren’t getting better, it was
because I hadn’t figured out the right formula yet. Satan led me to believe that I was responsible
for the entire relationship.
He led me down the path of
dishonoring God, and disrespecting myself and children “all in the name of
love”. The best thing that we can do is
pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment, and then in turn get professional
help for ourselves. It is easy to pass
judgment upon others who are considering divorce. However, the truth is, only the individuals
involved in the marriage are aware of the severity of the situation. I stayed in a toxic situation for twenty
years. Thank God for Him getting a hold
of my heart and mind. We can pray the
same thing for others whom we know of that are walking in this path.
We thank you for your word to go to
when we are unsure, and don’t know where to turn. Please help us to help others by sending them
to your word and prayer when it comes to decisions about divorce. We also pray that we would not pass judgment
upon others when they are going through divorce because we don’t know the whole
story. Only you do.
Episode 42: Lessons from the Vine-Part 1 Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Lessons from the Vine Outline
Conversation with Coworker
Application to our lives
Good afternoon everyone!
Welcome to Healing our Brokenness episode 42, entitled, Lessons
from the Vine”. Have you ever received a lesson from a vine? What about the
illustration that God gives us in his word regarding the vine and the branches?
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in
you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
This past week I was talking to a coworker of mine about how the flowers in my
front yard, the side of the house, and in the backyard were doing something weird
this year. It is as if they were confused due to a combination of lack of sun, cold
temperatures in May and June, and a variety of other reasons.
There were 2 flowers that we discussed. One is a vine, and the other is a burning
bush. The one that I will dissect today
is that of the burning bush. The burning
bush sits in front of my house. It literally has 4 different things going on
with it. The first situation is that there were some branches were no leaves were
produced. The second situation that was
going on was that there were branches with leaves that produced and is thriving.
The next situation that is going on is that some leaves were thriving but are
now dead. And the last situation was one
in which some of the Leaves had started turning their burgundy color as if fall
was approaching already. I decided to cut
off the dead withered leaves.
She brought it to my attention that it could be a perfect illustration
for our lives. Here is what God gave me as a lesson from the burning bush. There
are certain areas of our lives that are dead. They need to be cut out. The second lesson is
that there are some areas in our lives where we are trying to move too fast instead
of going through the process that God has for us. This could be due to seeing
others thriving and excelling in their businesses etc. The 3rd lesson from the burning bush is that
there are some areas in our lives that are right on target and maturing properly.
The last lesson from the burning bush is that there are areas of our lives where
immaturity exists, and therefore, there is no growth at all. These are the
areas that God wants to prune so that we can produce fruit and continue to grow.
Which one of these lessons do you identify with? I’m quite
sure that we can find a little bit of ourselves in each one of them. Let’s be
mindful of the areas that need growth, areas that are moving too fast, areas
that are dead, and the areas that are growing in maturity in Christ just fine.
Thank you for listening to “Healing Our Brokenness, episode
42, “Lessons from the Vine”. God bless
and have a wonderful week!
Episode 41: Fear in Control Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Fear in Control Outline
How Fear took over in my life.
Repetition of Satan’s Tactics.
Good afternoon! Welcome to “Healing our Brokenness”, Episode 41, entitled “Fear in Control”. How many of you have dealt with fear? How did it make you feel? Was your heart racing? Did you feel like you were losing your mind? Was your body shaking?
What is fear? Fear is
when we are perceiving something as a threat or danger to us. If you have dealt with any kind of trauma, or
have PTSD, you know that the fear part of the brain can get triggered. And then when this happens, All reasoning goes
out the door. We know what we know, but
because the fear brain has taken over, we cannot stop it. What happens is that
while the fear brain is in control, you become keenly aware that the fear is
irrational and needs to stop. You literally feel as if someone is behind you
and after you at the same time. I have experienced this several times. When it
happens, I usually get praise music in my head to let me know that I am OK. However,
I cannot stop the process of what the fear brain of PTSD / trauma is doing. It
has a mind of its own so to speak. No
amount of talking myself down helps me to calm down. I know that I just have to
wait it out.
When we think of dread it does not bring about a good
connotation. Dread makes you think of something awful taking place, another
form of extreme fear within itself. When
I was in my 20s, and I found myself having a health crisis, my life was filled with
fear that was out of control, and daily battles of dread of dying because of my
health. I am allowed Satan to get the best of me in my thoughts, and in my
spirit. Every day, as I waited for my thyroid condition to improve, Satan had
me trapped in a foot hold of fear and dread about me possibly going into
cardiac arrest and dying before getting to the point of feeling better.
What made it worse is that i was suffering from an extreme lack
of sleep. When you are going without
sleep for so long, it puts you quickly in a category for having a lot of other
things to take place. And some of those things include mental health issues, nervous
system issues, focusing issues, brain fog, and the inability to cope in
general. My lack of sleep coupled with dealing with trying to get my thyroid
under control for months made me the perfect bait for Satan to get a foothold.
And what were his lies? His lies were “This is it. You are
not going to make it”. Then after a while, I realized that I had gone about 6
months feeding into this mess. I have wasted all of the time that could have
been used enjoying myself locked into fear of dying.
As Christians, we are not exempt from dealing temptation and
spiritual warfare. We have God’s
promises even when we don’t feel like they are true or that he hears us or even
that he is near to us.
Hear are some scriptures to help you during times of fear
that I am currently implementing as I walk through releasing fear in certain areas
of my life:
13 I can do
all things through [a]Christ
who strengthens me.
Please cover us in your blood from the crown of our heads to the
soul of our feet. Please help us to know
that you are near. You are the same God
in every area of our lives, including fear.
Help us to remember this, even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. I pray for a covering of hope, love, and peace.
In your name,
Thank you for listening to Healing our Brokenness, episode 41 entitled
“Fear in Control”.
Episode 35: The Value of Prayer Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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In case you missed our last episode on surrendering, you can find it here. Today’s episode is Episode 35: The Value of Prayer. What are some of the things that you value in life? Why do you value them? Have you ever thought about prayer having value? Tune in to our latest episode to find out why prayer should be at the top of our list.
The Value of Prayer Podcast Outline
Necessity of Prayer
Examples of Prayer
Praying for Our Children
The Act of Praying Over Food
We Can Pray Alone
Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness. Today’s episode is entitled, “The Value of Prayer”.
Prayer is necessary in developing our
relationship with God. Sometimes the
hardest part about doing anything, including prayer is getting started. Satan fills our hearts with so many excuses
as to why we aren’t doing something, when the bottom line is that once we are
willing to start, God can give us the desire, strength, and perseverance to
finish: “For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work
in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 1:6, BSB) Jesus’
prayer life was a perfect example of the who, what, when, where and how’s of
Luke gives us an account of the impact placed
on one of Jesus’ disciples from watching him pray, and witnessing John teaching
his disciples. He wanted in on this
action: “Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he
finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John
taught his disciples. And he said to
them, “When you pray, say: “Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come.
“(Luke 11:1-2, ESV) When we pray with earnest hearts and conviction, it rubs
off on other people, and they want what we have.
us how to pray for our children: “Then people brought little
children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.
But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus
said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for
the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.” (Matthew
When our children are
little, there are so many ways that we can pray for and with them. We can place them on our laps and pray for
them, and as they get older, we can pray for them even as they are sleeping. Sometimes I have found myself praying with my
kids before they leave out the door on the way to school, or as we are
literally pulling out of the driveway to begin our day. There is no better example of showing that
there are no restrictions when telling our children about God, his goodness,
and his Word than in Deuteronomy 11: 19-21:
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when
you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when
you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and
on your gates, that your days and the days of your
children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like
the days of the heavens above the earth.”(NKJV)
us how to pray over and give thanks for our food. He showed us that even though he was the one
distributing the food, the fact that he had it to give himself was God’s
grace: “After he said
this, he took some bread and gave thanks to God in front of them all. Then he
broke it and began to eat.” (Acts 27:35, NIV)
The two fish and
five loaves of bread multiplied after he said the blessing. This was a pure reenactment of the story of
Elijah and the widow at Zarephath. Jesus
showed us the results of what the power of praying and trusting in God with the
little we have can do: “And he directed the people
to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking
up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to
the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They
all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of
broken pieces that were left over. The
number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. (Matthew 14: 19-21, NIV)
Jesus showed us the importance and power of praying
with others. Luke 9:28 tells us, “About eight days after Jesus said this, he took
Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray.”(NIV) There
is something about experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirt as we pray with
Jesus also showed us the
importance of praying alone: “After
dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When
evening came, He was there alone.”
(Matthew 14: 23, Holman) In order to avoid suffering burnout and
spiritual emptiness, there is a need for us to pour into ourselves before we
can pour into others. Once we are filled
up, we are ready to go out and serve.
We thank you for your grace and
power of prayer. Please help us to
remember that prayer reaches the doors of heaven, and changes things. We also ask that you would help us to get
into the habit of developing a routine for prayer, whether it is by ourselves
or with others.
In your name we pray,
Thank you for visiting Healing Our Brokenness, and if this episode has blessed you in any way, please tag a friend on Social Media, share it, review it on Itunes, and pray for the show as well.
Episode 32: Surprised by Provision Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Seri...
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Surprised by Provision Podcast Outline
Surprised by Provision
There are a lot of things that happen in life that we are just not prepared for handling. As a matter of fact, if God revealed to us what was on the way, we’d take off running in the other direction. Sometimes one thing happens, and that one thing ends up changing your entire world for what you know it to be.
That is what happened to Naomi. She was
surprised by disappointment, and then surprised by provision.
Naomi and her husband Elimelech, and their
two sons decided to leave Bethlehem and reside in Moab because of the
famine. Instead of life getting better at this point, it got worse.
Elimelech died. Their two sons found wives and got married. Then
their two sons died.
Naomi decided to go back to Bethlehem, since
she heard that they had bread again. She figured that this might be a
small sign of God’s provision. Naomi told her two daughters-in-law to
head back to their homelands so that they could find husbands, since she didn’t
have any more sons. Orpah left, but Ruth decided to stay:
And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: (Ruth 1:16, KJV)
When they returned to Bethlehem, it was evident that
Naomi was surprised by God’s provision:
So they two went until they came to Bethlehem. And
it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved
about them, and they said, Is this Naomi?
And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me
Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me.
I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi,
seeing the Lord hath testified against me, and the Almighty
hath afflicted me?
So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess, her
daughter in law, with her, which returned out of the country of Moab: and they
came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest. (Ruth 1: 19-22, KJV)
Neither Ruth nor Naomi had a clue that going
back to Bethlehem would bring surprise provision itself. They went back
for bread. God had a little bit more than bread waiting for them.
He slowly began to reveal his plan.
Ruth went out to glean corn, and she met a man named
Boaz. They had a conversation, and Boaz let on to Ruth that God was
recompensing her work for her full diligence:
And Boaz answered
and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto
thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy
father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people
which thou knewest not heretofore.
The Lord recompense
thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.
2: 11-12, KJV)
When Ruth arrived back home, Naomi questioned her
about the food. Ruth told her that she had met a man by the name of
Boaz. Naomi knew this was good news:
And Naomi said unto her daughter in law, Blessed be
he of the Lord,
who hath not left off his kindness to the living and to the dead. And Naomi
said unto her, The man is near of kin unto us, one of our next kinsmen. (Ruth
2: 20, KJV )
According to the law, a kinsmen could be the
redeemer if a relative died. In this case, since Boaz was a kinsmen, he
could redeem the land that belonged to Elimelech and his two sons.
However, there was a kinsmen even closer than Boaz. This meant that he
had first pick. This relative didn’t want to forfeit his own inheritance.
Therefore, Boaz became the kinsmen redeemer.
And Boaz said unto the elders, and unto all
the people, Ye are witnesses this day, that I have bought all that was
Elimelech’s, and all that was Chilion’s and Mahlon’s, of the hand of Naomi.
Moreover Ruth the Moabitess, the wife of
Mahlon, have I purchased to be my wife, to raise up the name of the dead upon
his inheritance, that the name of the dead be not cut off from among his
brethren, and from the gate of his place: ye are witnesses this day. (Ruth 4: 9-10, KJV)
What a surprise! The women encouraged
Naomi, telling her that God hadn’t forgotten about her:
And the women said unto Naomi, Blessed be
the Lord, which
hath not left thee this day without a kinsman, that his name may be famous in
And he shall be unto thee a restorer of thy
life, and a nourisher of thine old age: for thy daughter in law, which loveth
thee, which is better to thee than seven sons, hath born him. (Ruth 4: 14-15, KJV)
My Surprise Disappointment
At the age of 25, I had my surprise
disappointment as well. I was pregnant with my first child, and I worked
all the way up to the day before delivery. At the time, I was the
breadwinner for the household, and I had all of the family health insurance in
my name. My son had his days and nights mixed up, and so for almost six
weeks, I had between two to three hours of consecutive sleep during the
night. I was at the point of extreme exhaustion, and I could tell that my
blood pressure was up.
This was confirmed when the home nurse came
out to check on me. As soon as she checked my blood pressure, she knew
that it was from lack of sleep. Four days before my six weeks was up, my
son started sleeping through the night for four consecutive
hours. However, I knew that I would
need two extra weeks of this before returning to work, or else my health would
I called my job and requested an additional two weeks off. I was informed that if I didn’t come back right away, it would be considered job abandonment. With $50 left to my name, and no emergency money, this was a hard call. I hung up the phone, and then wrestled with what to do. However, I also knew that if they were like this about my health, then they would be like this about my son’s health as well. I decided not to go back, not sure of how I would make it.
My Surprise Provision
My son was almost three months old when I
took him to his three-month checkup. After the appointment, I decided to
visit my old job, which was five minutes away. I got caught up with
everyone, and my old boss asked me when I would return to work. I told my
old boss what happened, and he said,” Just like that?”. I replied,” Yes,
just like that. End of story.” We laughed, and he asked me what I thought
of working for him again. I thought he was joking, but he was dead
serious. What a surprise!
Within two weeks, I was back to working
again. In the beginning, I worked a five-day week, then a 10 hour
four-day week while my son was little, before moving on to a different
job. I didn’t know, but God knew that his divine providence was waiting
for me at this place. Like Naomi, All I had to do was to go back and get
Thank you for helping us to step out on faith, even when we are not sure
what you have in store for us. In your name,